Search Results: being honest about past relationships

I have a bit of a complicated situation where the guy I’m seeing is a fairly recent Tinder match. Things escalated quickly because we hit it off, then unfortunately I had to leave the country for a family emergency but we talked almost everyday and maintained our connection over the month. However, he’s recently had a very close family member be diagnosed terminally with only a few weeks to live.

He’s been honest and open about how much this has thrown him off and how he’s only had to deal with his dog’s death to date. We saw each other for the first time again last week and nothing changed in person aside from him being more affectionate but as far as our day to day texting and whatnot goes, there’s quite a difference.

I want to be there for him but I also don’t want to impose, make him feel like I’m disrespecting the space he needs right now, or that I’m pushing a serious relationship on him.

What would you want in this situation? What helped you in past relationships when you’ve gone through grief? And have you ever completely lost interest in someone or ended a relationship because dealing with the grief was too overwhelming?

Well as we all know that the media and left encourages hookup culture and/or promiscuity and takes newer generations away from relationships
that being said, do you think that hookup culture or the culture non-relationship sexual arrangements is diminishing the future prospects for women for having a relationship?

Because what I have seen is most of the teen and young adults who sleep around because they can without thinking of the future and how this isn't good for them end up with either self esteem issues where they end up in bad relationships again and again which takes a toll on their mental and emotional health since they don't seem to find the right partner.

Or

Once past the ages of 24-25 these women start to yearn for a fulfilling relationship with a loving partner who respects them and showers them with love with a possibility of being married down the line, but the non-douche, non-assholic guys who look for relationship usually stay away from those ladies who have a past of sleeping around and promiscuity because that shows a tendency of inability to hold serious relaationships which might lead to the guys ending hurt or being cheated on in the end.
And to be honest, if I were a guy, I'd have the same outlook.
I was one of those women in my late teens, but someone woke me up and made me realize the situation and changed since then.

But I hate it when I see women breaking down emotionally for not being able to find the right guys after years and years of sleeping around, hookups, friends with benefits.

Please take all into consideration...

Ok, so I met him almost 2 years ago. We met online and clicked from the beginning. However, due to our circumstances & crazy amount of distance we haven't been able to meet until now.

About 8 months into talking, I felt like I was investing a lot of time & emotions into him so I didn't want him talking to other people. I was completely driven by my emotions and asked for us to be in a relationship even though we hadn't even met yet. I understand that from an objective point of view that seems dumb and illogical to be committed to someone you haven't even met and looking back, I wish I didn't do that. He also made it very clear that he wasn't ready for a relationship but I pushed it anyways (again I know that's my fault).

But soon after him agreeing to the relationship I became suspicious if he was actually being faithful or not. And about 7 months into us being "official" I found out he had about 3 one night stands over the course of us dating.

We've talked about it & there was nothing emotional. He even showed me the conversations between him and these people and it was clear that it was only sexually driven. Still, i felt hurt. And if this was a normal relationship or less complex situation I would've left immediately. But I basically gave him an ultimatum - either a relationship or stop talking which now I realize was wrong and I have not been very understanding in the past.. not someone he could feel comfortable being honest to. I'm not blaming myself for him cheating but it would be a lie to say my past actions didn't contribute to him being so dishonest.

Overall, he's been amazing to me.. always there for me. And there's so much of the relationship I don't want to lose. So I'm stuck between leaving and meeting him then giving another chance. He's done everything from giving me his passwords to answering my questions to anything to make me feel more comfortable. I'm conflicted. Please help

My boyfriend has told me many lies throughout our 2+ year relationship. These lies usually are all about things that happened before we were together, or the couple of times we broke up for a week or so in college. These incidents can be anything from as stupid to one time he was at his fraternity house and strippers showed up and he saw her give a guy a lap dance and told me he never saw them... to him hooking up with a girl while we were broken up... and sleeping with some girl before we ever even got together (I get my partners sexual past really isn't any of my business).

I guess my question is... do you think this is a life long issue, or are most guys going to maybe.. leave out a girl they slept with previously to the relationship and the things they did while being BROKEN UP.

My boyfriend the last 10 months has gone through some type of "revelation" where he sees that I am the one for him and this isn't just some stupid college relationship. He sees a future with me, he wants to start brand new with me, focus on us, and he has proven to change dramatically... so he decided to come forward and tell me things he had lied about in the past. He said that he didn't care enough before and all of the things happened when we were broken up or before we even got together (minus the stupid stripper thing) and he was scared to lose me over such stupid mistakes he had made... I guess I can overreact sometimes I am quite dramatic but I still have always kept it 100% honest with him.

What do you guys think? Do you think this is just a stage? Or do you think he is going to be a liar for the rest of his life? (BTW the things he lied about, I did ask him multiple times and he would deny) until recently when he wanted to just come clean, start over, and has had enough time the last 10 months to prove to me he's different (which he has TREMENDOUSLY).

Opinions?