Is the hookup culture ruining future relationships for women?

Well as we all know that the media and left encourages hookup culture and/or promiscuity and takes newer generations away from relationships
that being said, do you think that hookup culture or the culture non-relationship sexual arrangements is diminishing the future prospects for women for having a relationship?

Because what I have seen is most of the teen and young adults who sleep around because they can without thinking of the future and how this isn't good for them end up with either self esteem issues where they end up in bad relationships again and again which takes a toll on their mental and emotional health since they don't seem to find the right partner.

Or

Once past the ages of 24-25 these women start to yearn for a fulfilling relationship with a loving partner who respects them and showers them with love with a possibility of being married down the line, but the non-douche, non-assholic guys who look for relationship usually stay away from those ladies who have a past of sleeping around and promiscuity because that shows a tendency of inability to hold serious relaationships which might lead to the guys ending hurt or being cheated on in the end.
And to be honest, if I were a guy, I'd have the same outlook.
I was one of those women in my late teens, but someone woke me up and made me realize the situation and changed since then.

But I hate it when I see women breaking down emotionally for not being able to find the right guys after years and years of sleeping around, hookups, friends with benefits.

  • Yes, it is ruining relationships for women
    Vote A
  • No, it isn't
    Vote B
  • I have a different opinion (state below)
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think so. A lot of women in these times are not angels, and are secretly having casual sex with lots of guys while they lie about it or pretend to be relationship-oriented. I've known many such women, and I'm sure other men know them as well.

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    • I personally know many "devout Christians" who have had a lot of the casual stuff, and "you're a prude" if you're not having sex by date three.

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    • @Goodwifie I guess we are considered, old fashioned these days

    • Nope I just wanted a guy to date me for the right reasons. Been married for 12 years this October.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's ruining it for me. I am not a woman who sleeps around out of relationships. And the expectation of guys on online dating or in general is blowjob at least on second date. I don't blame men. There are those women that caused them to lose faith and turned them into fuckboys probably. But I noticed people lost the ability to be loyal, faithful, respectful, and they have no ability to try to connect and love someone deeply beyond the bodily functions, and looks.

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    • I am not sure why the downvotes are. Is it because i don't want a relationship entirely based on hookup? Is it weird to want to have a tangible quality relationship? LOL

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    • @Svennedude2 And what study says that?

    • I'm basing this on personal observation from my circle of friends and the people they know. The ones with a past promiscuous life on average have a much harder time settling down. Sure, there will be some people who will be able to stay faithful, but I'd rather bet my horse on a person who didn't have a history of promiscuity. There's a reason why so many people find a person with a history of many sexual partners off-putting.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 66

  • The only reason I would think that it could ruin relationships is that it trivializes sex to the point to where relationships aren't needed to fulfill that desire. One big part of an intimate relationship is the sexual component, regardless of how certain women like to downplay sexual urges in both men and women. After all, a platonic friendship can be intimate as close friends can share feelings and provide the same kind of support. Friends can even become roommates if financial support needed. You can give gifts to friends, take friends out on "dates", you can even make gestures like helping them with a project. Romantic relationships are akin to a very close platonic friendship with sexual attraction. It is one of the only places where a person can express the love language of sex (and not sex for purely physical pleasure).

    Personally I don't care if a woman has some sexual experiences in and out of LTRs. I am not going to be so insecure as to believe that even though she desires me and wants a LTR with me, her sexual urges will get the better of her and cause her to go against her values. If she cheats or shows signs that I am not satisfying her due to a crazy insatiability (nympho), then I would be concerned about our compatibility or if she is able to be monogamous. However, no way would I want her to have a low sex drive, not be in touch with what makes her feel good, to be completely passive in bed, to not go for what she wants or communicate about it, and so forth.

    Sexual liberation is good, especially if the woman isn't afraid to be kinky, adventurous, and knows what she wants. But it isn't so good if she has poor willpower or breaks her values (fidelity and loyalty) due to a fickle and hedonistic nature.

    So is it ruining future relationships? Maybe. The reason I say this is because relationships aren't always about instant gratification, aren't all fun and games, eventually lose some of the spark, etc. and if a woman's ability to get laid on the regular gives the tendency to be bored or disenfranchised with monogamy or with her partner, it could lead to a very heartbroken (and cuckolded) man. Don't believe me? Look at the divorce statistics and how it is the woman who usually initiates the divorce after no-fault divorce laws went into place in the 70s. Men tend to get blind-sided by it. Learn about why women resent men and the fact that they fall out of love much easier. There are many reasons for this, but boredom is one of them.

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    • Also, men tend to forget that just because women have slept around in her past or had multiple relationships, doesn't mean she hasn't experienced bad sex and has moments of regret. I'm betting quite a bit of a woman's sexual experiences, especially flings, ONS, and such are filled with regrets. Some women have some FWBs situations (so do men). Those women might just not have been in the right place to spend a lot of time going to dates and doing other LTR stuff due to college or other obligations. Doesn't mean she wouldn't be open to a LTR, marriage, children, family, etc. in the future. It also doesn't mean her past sexual experiences are going to taint her future ones if her SO doesn't "live up" to the previous "studs" she may have slept with. There are different kinds of sex too, sometimes intense, sometimes romantic, sometimes kinky, sometimes vanilla... and all of them have pros and cons. So her history doesn't mean she will judge you or be prone to cheating.

  • It's already ruined relationships in general for both. When society becomes so shallow, that all that matters is the next climax, then nobody has room in their hearts for real love. As such, relationships become about the next fix, rather than about lasting value and edification. Everything becomes meaningless.

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  • The mostly left media promotes hook ups, drugs, and other immoral actions. They try to make it seem acceptable so more people will do it. And then the good people just think, "Why even try? Everybody's morals are fucked." And just don't bother anymore.

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  • Why is it ruining relationships for women? Is it not ruining it for men as well? Those guys you described have no interest in women like that because they can see right through it all. They know those women are just coming to the realization that their biological clock is ticking faster and faster. They realize that in the end big cocks and shitty attitudes don't actually provide the same relationship fulfillmemt and stability/money that comes from dating a good career oriented intelligient non douche type of man. At this point she is willing to compromise after all she's already been ravaged by 30+ men all the shallow qualities she used to search for have lost their luster. The "provider" type knows he is essentially being preyed on. That is a huge turn off and how can he catch true feelings for someone like that? Like you said it also doesn't make sense... surely she mighy cheat or just change her mind for no reason because she is insane. When women get to this stage in life and start warming up to men they would have rejected in the not so distant past it makes him feel pathetic. Like he is only valuable to women who have been used and ruined. He understands these social dynamic (if he is smart) and not only does it make him unnattracted to these particular women but it makes him bitter in general. Men in this position might never actually find someone they can truly open up to and love. Unfortunately these women usually will find some cuckold sucker to take care of them. They knew that from the start that is why they were the way they were. So what im saying is yes what you said is 100% true hookup culture is harming relationships for men and women not just women. But at the end of the day the women usually end up happily ever after whereas the men you referred to have to choose between their dignity and filling the void that only love can fill. Which can make him really unhappy and unable to actually find love so I would say that men are undoubtedly more affected by this "sexual liberation".

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    • Couldn't agree more,
      And men are more affected but I didn't mention it in this post since I thing that it is a bigger issue and deserved an individual post

  • Yes. Plenty of girls turn away good guys while riding the cock carousel while in their prime attractive years 16-30 and when they deceide they are ready to settle down with a good guy they find that all the good guys are taken or are looking for someone younger and without the reputation for promiscuity. I love this youtube clip lol
    https://youtu.be/Uhcx3zAlFBE

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  • The pursuit of pleausre is at large in America and I blame this on the sexual Revolution and other events.

    Yes it is an issue, however if women on a collective level raise their standrads, not give themselves away so fast, men will have to raise their stanards too!

    Such a shame though, takes majortiy of women to do so. I think people should wait for marriage.

    The more sexual partners before marriage leads to a higher chance of divocre.

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  • I think it's ruining relationships for EVERYONE.

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  • I think it's certainly ruining the prospects of women who want to settle down, down the line. I personally stay away from the party type girl who wants to settle down. Firstly, I wouldn't know if she would be able to abstain from her past promiscuous behavior. Secondly, I'd wonder if she caught any sexual transmitted diseases. Thirdly, it's just not really attractive knowing a person has slept with dozens of men. (I'm sure women feel the same way about such men)

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    • @Svennedude2 Good point. I have a problem with being sexually attracted to women who've slept with lots of men and I know I need to let it go because of all the great points you mentioned, but my mind is fierce.

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    • Thanks, man. I try to stay focused on that.

    • @ManOnFire Cheers, brother. I believe in you.

  • Anyone who sleeps around for fun is a subhuman to me. They just disgust me. Anyways, yes sleeping around is ruining relationships for everybody not just women. However, I expect my mate to be independent of the social norms that make it OK to have premarital sex with an unworthy individual for fun so I guess its fine but the thing is its really frustrating waiting for the right girl to show up.

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  • " I hate it when I see women breaking down emotionally for not being able to find the right guys after years and years of sleeping around, hookups, friends with benefits."

    I don't have sympathy for those women. It's their fault. They chose to be sloots.

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    • Yeah. I lost a lot of these 'friends' and got into a lot of conflict with parents for doing whatever I had to necessary in order to stay away from the entire hookup culture ultimately to avoid associating with the people involved in it, which is most if not nearly everyone in my age group or people who would have otherwise been my coworkers had I not decided to stay out of the workforce because of this reason.

  • Some situations require date apps to meet but most people on date apps are crazy hook up people. Yes people that choose to live like pimps and hos are ruining it for the rest of us

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  • It's ruining relationships for everybody. People can't stay with each other for longer times anymore and grow together as people. Instead jump from tree to tree wondering why they are miserable

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  • It's not the hookup culture that is the problem. It's how people choose to engage in it that's the problem. It's completely natural that in general, when women are young they want to hook up with lots of guys but then settle down with a reliable guy once they get about 30 or so.

    The problem is, many guys feel betrayed to learn their wives or girlfriends had a promiscuous past. So yes, it can cause problems for women if they hope to have serious monogamous relationships in the future.

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  • i guess it depends on what you mean by 'ruining'. This suggests that having a relationship is some sort of necessity. Back 100 years ago when women couldn't survive on their own because no one would take them seriously enough to pay them a living wage, yeah, it made a ton sense for women to do whatever they could to be companionable to some guy so he would take care of her. But we're past that silliness, now. A relationship is no longer a necessity, but instead is something you should only consider doing when you happen to stumble across someone you genuinely like. And that's fine.

    But people still have sexual needs. The reluctance to get into unnecessary relationships doesn't stop that. This is how a 'hook-up culture' starts.

    So, you have it backwards, the way I see it. It isn't a hookup culture that ruins relationships, it's the low demand for relationships that started the hookup culture.

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  • Let's go over everything wrong. There is no hookup culture, by that I mean people are getting married later or not at all but staying together and the divorce rate is actually down.

    Media acknowledgement of alternative lifestyles looks like encouragement when the only acceptable norm up until recently was "stay a virgin until you're married or you're used up, worthless, and a whore" or that message has been all you've known and just don't like the alternatives.

    "Without thinking of the future" is loaded towards thinking men are all male counterparts to your viewpoint, and yes, in those men who think how many partners you've had has any-fucking-thing to do with how you should be valued, like he's making a fucking car purchase, probably aren't going to be interested. Those men also get tilted any time a woman does anything non-traditional, to the point of domestic assault or threatening divorce but moving on.

    Some do have sex exclusively for their esteem, but for those who aren't there is nothing wrong with being desired or the pillow dance making someone feel good about themselves. If you want an object to blame for low self-esteem, take a look at the increasing bombardment of acceptable body type images, there's something you can blame mass media for. Or the fact that our generation was given a dopamine producing selfie machines that fit in the palm of our hand, that the prior generation never had anything close for comparison to teach us responsible use so we had to teach ourselves.

    And yeah I'll throw in an anecdote, my partner of 2 and a half years, who I have every intention of marrying, started at 14. She the most loyal, mature, cheerful partner a person could ask for, and for me to judge her based on what she did as a teen as I stare at the adult would be asinine.

    Just slap a note on the question that reads "non-traditional relationships suck", christ

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    • First of all, congratulations for having found your lady and I'm glad that she found her man.
      I never said that is the way it should be looked as, I am saying this is what I'm seeing happening around with my fellow ladies.
      I am. not a sadist to want all the women who chose this lifestyle to have a hard life, and its their choice , I am no one to demonize or judge them.
      My point is about getting views of people about it.

  • Natural selection, women with high value still get into relationships easy enough with good men. Women of lower value settle with lower value men.

    It hasn't ruined anything it's all part and parcel of living in these times.

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    • Yeah but the point is being promiscuous lowers their dating value in the eyes of those high value good men.

    • @Oram52 Any self respecting woman knows it already. If you hang around people who subscribe to the hookup culture then you're probably not a decent person yourself to begin with.

      If the girl then goes and follows her peers that's on her. Instead of blaming the culture, girls who complain should look at themselves for enabling it.

  • It's pretty naive to blame your personal sexual conduct on 'the media' or 'the left' or 'the times'. Everyone has their own personal values, if you feel sleeping around will diminish your self-esteem then maybe your not really approaching sex from the healthiest mindset.

    Plenty of people still want relationships, I think the important thing is to just be upfront with your 'partner' regarding your intentions.

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  • It's the new norm, you need to get used to it ladies. Many women today have no idea how to be a desirable long term partner

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  • First of all, what you refer to hoom-up culture is something that is completely natural and happens all around that world. The only difference being that due to advancements in technology it's now a more obvious part of our lives with apps and such playing a role. Secondly, if women don't want to have casual sex, they don't have to. Your point about it not being good for them is moronic as sex is mentally and physically speaking a healthy part of most adults lives. This idea that women (and I notice you only mention women) end up in bad relationships over and over again is just silly. Many people don't find the right partner first time around but this has very little to do with sex. Keeping in mind as well that by your definition of it being part of a "hook-up culture" there shouldn't be many relationships in the first place. My girlfriend and I met through starting out as friends with benefits. Neither of us view casual sex as remotely detrimental and now we are in the healthiest and happiest relationship either of us has been.

    What your post seems like is you relaying your experience as if it is true for all women

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    • Your second point is that women dont have to if they dont want to , I never said that they have to if if they dont want to.

      I only speak about women because this post is about women, I am not venturing in the plight of guys in this one.

      And I am seeing that my use of term."hookup culture" is being taken wrongly than what I intended to.
      I'll clarify in the update
      But what I mean is about putting your physical needs and sleeping around just for the sex and no emotional interaction at all.

  • Liberals dont encourage premarital sex, only that the government should mind their business when pertaining to sex.

    I dont think its ruining relationships. I think people should stop worring so much about getting married. You can live a happy life with someone without being married. And if you break up, take it like a divorce and find someone else.

    Bad relarionships are a personal problem in my opinion. You should be able to tell when a relationship takes a turn for the worst. If he starts hitting her or cheats on her more than once or is verbally abusive then its a bad relationship. Get out.

    The dumb sons of bitches that stay away from a woman simply because she likes to have sex, are judgmental pricks who dont have enough confidence in themselves to trust that their woman won't cheat or are too caught up in the old idea that women who sleep around are in someway less than respectable then other women (if not humans).

    Basically the hook-up culture isn't the problem, society is. Hook-up culture is just the progression of societal evolution.

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  • Yes it is. It causes a lot of damage, especially for women. Its terrible for men as well, but its worse for women. The problem is most women don't admit to this, they go down this path and convince themselves everything is fine when its not, meanwhile the guys think that its just a good time so they don't think of it being damaging but then as they get older they notice the negative ramifications it has on women so as you said they stay away but the problem is they don't want to change their life style of sleeping around that they have grown accustomed to, so they continue to perpetuate the problem. Its a self feeding cycle, each one adding to it. Women need to one, admit that they are not happy, two not think that a man sleeping with them means the man likes them (it doesn't, a mans sexuality is different then that of a womans) and three they need to hold both themselves accountable but also hold men to the same standards i. e. don't look for a guy who sleeps around. A lot of women are upset because guys don't want women who sleep around but the fact is women can have that same standard and they should because as you pointed out it shows an inability to hold onto a relationship, poor impulse control etc. Its terrible. On the up side the damage has been so sever that now people are starting to wake up but its unfortunately costing us at least a generation of men women and children (children of divorce and single mothers are far more likely to be promiscuis themselves as well as a greater inclination towards criminality etc.)

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  • Not really.
    Most women who sleep around either lie about their past or keep it secret so the guy never knows.

    The only woman who may struggle are the ones who have built up a reputation, but even then if they are hot enough lots of guys would overlook a woman's past if they get to be with an 8 or 9.

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  • i don't believe it is and if hookup culture was ruining relationships it would seem to ruin relationships for both men and women

    but the reality is the rate of marriage is increasing, the rate of divorces are decreasing.

    i think hookup culture in many ways benefits men and women as it allows for people to sort of go through a bit of relationship self discovery rather than feeling like they have to commit to one person early in their life before they are perhaps truly ready

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  • I definitely think think it's gone too far, however as I 21 y/o guy who has never had a girlfriend or even had a kiss or any sexual experience, that is something that has negatively affected my self-esteem, because of the hookup culture !

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  • I don't know about ruining but I don't think its helpful for some women. I'm not sure I could ever be with a chick that hooked up a lot because we have such different views on sex and intimacy.

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  • "But I hate it when I see women breaking down emotionally for not being able to find the right guys after years and years of sleeping around, hookups, friends with benefits."

    I have noticed this too - one of my hook ups around this time last year broke down to me saying she's so tired of sleeping with random men and it never leading anywhere. I mean I sort of laughed at her (because it's her fault) but a part of me actually felt bad because she was being sincere.

    In general I would say yes, the hook up culture is definitely hurting future relationships for women. I even saw something on the news the other day saying that egg freezing is booming in popularity because women can't find men to settle down with

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  • Ruins it for men too.

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    • Not disagreeing , but just talking about the women in this post
      There will be one for men too

  • I don't think it necessarily messes things up for women when they're ready to settle down. First of all, there are plenty of men engaged in the hookup culture as well. Second, we do a lot of things when we're immature that we later move away from (at least most of us do). Third, virtually no one expects their spouse to be a virgin when getting married, and is there a huge difference between having had sex with 5 People or 20? Not really. What would concern me more is recent infidelity in a marriage or what was supposed to be a steady, monogamous relationship.

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  • "But I hate it when I see women breaking down emotionally for not being able to find the right guys after years and years of sleeping around, hookups, friends with benefits."

    That's their own problem. Shouldn't have slept around.

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  • relationships... lmao... grow up.. that's over

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    • Poor little slut spoiled brat women…. I am going to get fixed and I am going to hookit until I drop…. stick your relationships…hahahah

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 21

  • Alvin Toffler wrote in his 1962 book "Future Shock" that by the 2050 modern social structure would become disposable. Disposable jobs, disposable husbands, single-use friends and neighbors... people would be running from one place to the next, one job to the next, one relationship to the next in constant search of the new and perfect, undamaged "thing". The newness and hope of perfection would become shadowed by the reality that perfection doesn't exist with the new thing, that is to say, as soon as trouble arises, the people would cut ties, preferring to conserve the illusion of perfection, however fleeting it might be; searching for an ever-newer, ever-better new thing.

    His world has come 30 years early, and is also mired by COMPLETELY ridiculous standards of a womans' beauty. (crazy makeup + plastic surgery = WTF selfies) This generation of "instagram" "tinder" "selfie" women will evolve to believe their beauty and intrigue on selfies is the only lure, and as their beauty fades, will find themselves increasingly unable to form genuine relationships with the opposite sex; relationships based on TIME, FORGIVENESS, LOYALTY and TRUST. These are not things you find in the hookup culture. it's sad.

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  • Yes it's definitely ruining relationships. People don't even know what loyalty, respect and value is anymore.

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    • Finally, finally there is someone who does understand what I'm saying

    • Yeah I see the points you make in my friends.. I have one who struggles to find anyone decent because she's so used to the hookup culture. It's in a way devaluing people to just using them for sex. I don't know this generation is extra fucked up bc you can literally go online and find anyone to do anything with at any moment without having any connection. It's weird shit.

  • Honestly i think years of promiscuity can damage a woman's outlook on love and the way she treats a man. I know a girl just like this. She sleeps around with just about any man, but is bitter and thinks that all men ain't shit. however she's cheated on every guy she's been with but somehow thinks she deserves to be taken seriously

    i just think if you dont respect yourself you can't expect anyone else to. and if you allow men to use you and treat you like shit, you are going to be really bitter when it comes to an actual decent guy. she wants marriage and love but i think she has to change her ways first and become a better woman!

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  • Yes, hookup culture is messing with relationships for BOTH men & women.

    While I recognize that in the past, all over the world, when a women slept with someone (even if it's just one person), she'd be branded a whore, slut, trash, etc. Oftentimes, she's killed (even today under Sharia law). While a man could sleep with someone (one person or 20) and he is slapped on the back with a wink and a, "Attaboy!"

    That did/does need to be changed. HOWEVER, casual hookups ruin people's idea of real bonding and how to go about that. Now we're left emptier than before.

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  • Ok. Wait a second here. I thought a (monogamous) relationship was a two way street... So if it's being ruined for women it's being ruined for men as well. Let's be fair here.

    But no I don't believe relationships are being ruined for anyone. Ruined for certain people... MAYBE. I believe it's only ruined when a person cannot grow/ change/ reflect etc. Because even if there are some people who prefer a person with a low partner count or a virgin there are those willing to overlook someone's past if the person has grown up enough. Nobody is perfect and expecting someone to be is just silly. We are talking about human beings like they are objects. We're not.

    Plenty of people go through a period of time where they just want to have some fun but then they get over it. For some it can be very short lived and for some it can last younger. That is entirely different from confusing sex with love or doing it because you had low self esteem. It's usually those people who have the hardest time getting over their past. Girls who falls for guys that never wanted anything serious and then spend years obsessing over them (well not them exactly. They are obsessing over not being wanted) while not being able to really focus on any real relationship they have in the future.

    Also people say "Well she may cheat..." Actually from what I've seen the girls I've known who were a bit more adventurous (by adventurous I don't mean they necessarily slept around but they didn't have to be in a relationship to have sex) when they were single were the least likely to cheat when in a relationship. It was the goody two shoes "Omg I only have sex in a relationship because I'm a nice girl and I'm so much better than other girls omg look at how special I am!" type of girls that eventually cheated on their boyfriends/ finances/ husbands because they got bored or something. I'm not sure how it is for guys. Also I'm not saying that's how it is for everyone. Just what I've noticed.

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    • TLDR: It's all a mental state. Your ability to grow up.

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    • Because I take a somewhat neutral view on this matter some people seem to think I encourage 'hookup culture'. I don't. It's definitely not my thing. But I try my best not to judge people who have participated in it and I do feel they can move past it if they try. I don't think they should be judged harshly for the rest of their lives because they had a few crazy years in their 20's or whatever. But then again if someone wants to judge someone like that I don't think they are the right person for them to date. Better move on and find someone more mature than that.

    • And people who tend to judge the harshest are often FAR from perfect themselves.

  • Well, I say it depends on the man & which phase he's in. If he's in a phase of only wanting to hook up, then he's the wrong fit for a woman who is wanting to settle down. The problem isn't the men, the problem is that women tend to give themselves to men without the men earning it. They invest all of their emotion in ONE man (a man who is FAR from ready to settle down), & then they wonder why they get their hearts broken.

    There are many great men out there, who value devoted relationships & who are in the phase of wanting to settle down, however, they are often not given a chance, because women tend to focus more on men who aren't ready for relationships. How can you truly give other men a chance when you're only focused on ONE?

    Eventually, a man will start to realise that all the hookup culture satisfies, is the physical aspect of himself, but he will feel that it cannot satisfy him on an emotional level - perhaps someone close to him passes away, or he experiences some significant event or change, which then shifts his needs to a completely different level, which leads to him wanting more than just sex.

    When this happens, he is then the right man to date, given that a woman brings enough value to the table; him too, since it's a two-way street.

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  • No. Plain and clear. Women are actually learning to respect themselves by respecting their own sexuality and needs. "Is alcohol ruining people's lives?" In some cases, yes. But as always, it's not the alcohol's fault: if you abuse anything, it's gonna ruin your life. If you're not emotionally ready to sustain the downsides of sleep around (since everybody knows the implications of it) you shouldn't be doing it, it's not the system's fault. Blame the player, not the game. Of course this kind of culture brings a lot of problems, but ruining relationships isn't one of them. If you can't handle it, don't do it. As with literally anything else in life.

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  • i agree with you for the most part.
    i don't think casual sex is good for people, especially women. it's the mindset.

    however, one thing i have noticed about most guys is, if they really like a girl and want to date her, they don't focus too much on her past.

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  • Well first of all, "hookup culture" isn't a thing.
    http://time.com/88092/hookup-culture-myth-study/
    I'm not saying people don't have casual sex, but really millennials aren't hooking up any more than past generations. We are getting married later and might have more boyfriends and girlfriends, but the fact still remains that most people are having sex within relationships.
    As for if having a lot of hookups hypothetically ruins future relationships, I'm not so sure about that either. I would guess that people who have lots of hookups might do so because they simply aren't well-suited to relationships to begin with. I don't really buy into the notion that having "lots" (which I've found can range from 3-20+ in people's minds) of former sex partners somehow makes a woman "used up" and unfit for a relationship. It's quite old-fashioned, and not in a good way.

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  • No, if you have that type of history don't meet a guy and immediately say, "By the way I've had sex with X amount of men." Your past is your past and it is up to you if you want to tell him or not. Men hook up all the time, do you expect him to tell you every detail of his past sex partners when meeting? Let him get to know you for who YOU are. Not what you did however many years ago. The only time you would be required to disclose all that up front is if you have not been checked or have been checked and have an STD. I suggest you do at least get tested with that history.

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    • Your past is not your past, I have absolutely right to know what her past is. I will not date somebody promiscuous period. If she didn't want to tell I simply moved on. How exactly is it working out for promiscuous girls your age?

    • @Oram52 Just because the girl was "promiscuous" in the past doesn't mean that she is today. If she isn't today, what's it to you. Attempt to insult my age all you like, but I look 1000X better and younger at 30 than you will look at 23. I'm not "promiscuous" but even if I was at my "age" of 30 who gaf? It's not you so don't worry about it. If you think 30 is so "old" you should do yourself a favor and just off yourself at 25, bc one day you'll be 30 too child

    • So suddenly she's not promiscuous it doesn't matetr anymore? So those numbers are magically erased? It always matters otherwise promiscuous girls wouldn't whine and come up with crap like history doesn't matter.

      You're pretty I wasn't making any negative comemnt on your appearance or age. What I meant was how being promiscuous affects now that you're older and want to settle down, and guys refuse to date promiscuous girls.

      Past and history is not erased.

  • Yes hookup culture is killing relationship for both sexes but mostly for women. a lot guys out there just want to have fun non serious relationships, It doesn't help that there are women willing to throw their cookies and cremes out for those type of guys, and girls who don't get down like that getting pushed aside for those type of women. It makes it hard for women who want a serious committed relationship cause if the guy doesn't get what he wants sooner or later then he just gets up and leave cause bored and tired of waiting.

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    • So you can't just give sex to one man and stay loyal to each other? Of course if you give a man nothing he will leave.

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    • But there's a lot of women out there who who are just messing around too. They are just not as vocal about it. I think you might be surprised to find the number of fuckboys and sluts to be even. I think both sexes are probably killing it evenly.

    • @ComputerScientist I might be a woman but trust me I get it. By side that, it's also due to living in society that glorifies sex too much, it's constantly mentioned in music, songs, tv, and movies. We are in a hypersexualised society so it's no wonder why sex gets put on a pedestal by some men. Again I'm not saying sex isn't important, what I'm saying is that a lot people jump to fast when it comes to sex before getting to know someone. I'm not saying that it's okay to never want to make love with your partner cause it can cause problems and make them feel unwanted. I also I understand that men and women are different.

  • If you don't want to hookup, say so. There are men who feel the same.

    You have agency. You're not obligated to follow trends or whatever the pack is doing. You can have a relationship if you want one. You just have to say so.

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    • I'm assuming you meant Independence? Agency means acting on behalf of another.

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    • @Silver158 there's more than one usage of words, and what I wrote is correct. Kindly fuck off or contribute something that is not nitpicking.

    • Well maybe make sense and stop confusing people and they won't nitpick? Also yes, there is more than 1 usage for words... Like I said. Verbs, Nouns etc. Now, Kindly go fuck yourself :)

  • No I don't think so. In me and my friends experiences, men didn't want relationships. They just wanted to have sex. My frienf was taken advantage of and she didn't see it coming until he disappeared. He did everything to show to he had feelings for her. Then got what he wanted and left. And thats most guys in their younger 20s.

    So are women supposed to wait around for a perfect man to come along, or can she have her fun too? Women went from being used to meeting guys head on with the behavior.

    Also some people just aren't at a point in their lives where they can be in a relationship. They're moving around, get new and bigger job opportunities, need to focus on self-help instead of trying to be with someone and generally just trying to get themselves together. I'm going to move after I graduate to find a job, and probably move around some more after that. I'm in no position for a relationship at this point in time. It would only hold me back. Other people probably feel the same.

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  • Relationships have never worked. Like, in the history of humanity. The only difference is that now, both men and women have a say on what their relationships are going to be like. There's not just one kind of relationship where you respectfully hold hands until your most likely unhappy marriage, which you cannot undo under any circumstances. Women are not as pressured to get (and stay) married. Men neither. Divorce is okay, not being in a relationship is okay, we have much more freedom to choose.

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    • I agree thanks to modern medicine, labour saving technology and social welfare men no longer have to marry or stay married as women can work and support themselves, also thanks to DNA testing a guy doesn't have to raise a kid not his own. Men are no longer yoked to the plow of work or shackled to chain of responsibility for a woman.

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    • Your reasoning gave me suicidal tendencies

    • Divorce is rising since there is a strong correlation between number of sexual partners before marriage and divroce. Also fiscal matters as well. The pursuit of pleasure and greed doesn't work.

  • Hookups and casual sex is a problem if you think this is going to replace real relationships. They are not a problem if you just enjoy them for their own sake. There is nothing wrong with women just wanting sex and nothing else from a guy. If you can't find guys around your age who want to do anything besides hook up, try to meet older guys. They will be more reasonable about things.

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  • with such anti-popular opinions you won't survive much on this secular site. i give you 6 months tops... .

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  • Yeah

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  • Women are only doing what men have been doing for ages: Screwing around in their 20s and settling down at 30. Why? Because they can. Nothing wrong with it.

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    • Yes men screwed around with whores for centuries. Nothing has changed. The women who sleep around are still whores.

    • @ComputerScientist Meh. They may be whores but they'll still get wifed up by guys like you.

  • In my opinion, it is ruining relationships for everyone. It's teaching the younger kids to hookup and do stupid shit. There is not love, loyalty, respect, and people are just cold. There's no warmth, there's no faith. And if you don't have those, your relationship definitely won't work out.

    Many people think having sex before marriage is fine or okay. But in actuality it's not. It's like you meet someone, start dating and decode sometime close to the 3rd date or so, to have sex, and then y'all break up (most people) because it wasn't working out with them. Well then why have sex so soon? Have a normal relationship, talk about things, learn about eachother, grow your relatiobships, especially if you're looking to marry. Like there is just no respect for relationships nowadays. The next person you date wants to know how many you've been with in a sexual way, and when you tell them, they (subconciously) will be thinking about this, and especially if it's a shit ton of people you've slept with, that definitely stays on their minds. No loyalty because it's like jumping from person to person, how does that make you a loyal person if you hop around?
    I mean it's my opinion but, damn people are definitely ruining the reputation/meaning of relationship.
    And also for people who say that this generation isn't having enough sex of whatever, vompared to back in the day, how the hell do you know if y'all never lived back then? Why would you believe something "studies have shown" shit about that. It's not like they went and asked every single person out there back then and now to record this. They choose "some" people, ask them about their sexual life And record from that little bit of people...

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  • Yes it is. Some guys don't even put out an effort. They just meet u and expect u to sleep with them right away. no dates or getting to know each other better. Just a "come through" or "come over and chill" text. It's so annoying. Not all guys are like this though. Some guys are willing to take me out on dates and try to get to know me better.

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  • It’s both guys and girls fault for the hookup culture because they both do it all the time. Personally I don’t mind being single forever! It’s much better that way haha

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