Search Results: being a good friend meditation

Time after time, I've asked myself why I never had a girlfriend, and why I kept being rejected offhand by every girl I ever attempted to approach. And the answer I kept coming up with, time and time again, was that they didn't want me- that I just wasn't good enough or special enough for those girls, or indeed for any girl, to be interested in me, no matter how caring and considerate I was. Being myself was enough to be a "nice guy"- nothing more. So I devoted all of my time and efforts to becoming worthy, being good enough and being able to prove that I was good enough.

I was already a genius (IQ of 178- still not good enough, compared to my older brother's score of 190), incredibly fit, healthy, and skilled at everything I was interested in. I've competed with future Olympic athletes, won awards for my creative writing, mathematics, artwork and MMA, taken on bullies, thugs, muggers and would-be rapists to defend strangers and won every fight. I practise meditation, and work in a public kitchen whenever I can spare the time. I founded and ran my own PLC as its CEO for more than five years, winning international acclaim and awards for my work. I've proven myself, time and time again. But I'm still getting told by everyone, including my own family and friends, that I'm "not good enough" for anyone- that no-one will ever love me, because I'm not worthy.

Nothing I could do, nothing I could ever be, was ever enough to make the grade, even with the plainest girls I could find. The only girl who ever approached me was morbidly obese (240lbs, 5'4", 16yrs old), and she told me to my face that she only wanted to go out with me "because you're EXOTIC- you're half-black and half-indian, so I can tick both off the list!" So, what's a guy worth to you? What would a guy have to possess, have to be and have to prove to you in order to be deemed "worthy" in your eyes? Can any guy in the world ever be considered "worthy" of you, or of any other woman? Or are you unattainable?