Search Results: he has a lot of girls chasing him

Guys, I have been in FBW relationship since June. The guy lives in a different city and I kept coming to visit him and his friends a lot during summer. He loves someone else... but the girl lives on a different continent and they could only see each other for a few months this year before she left again. At the same time he was saying he loves her he was also having sex with me when she was gone travelling - I know how it sounds... like I am sort of an "empty space filler"...

Me and and the guy are just so irresistibly attracted to each other that it's just insane.. But I developed feelings for him and he didn't. I was trying to stop it, told him I want this over, told him how I feel, but it keeps happening when I am around and we have this intense time over and over again.

I saw him last week.. The girl he loves came back so he's alone... and he offered me to sleep together. And again... how do I feel about it? Like now it's my turn again as long as the other girls is not around.. But I said yes to it... and even thougt we were making out all night an it got super hot, for the first time I managed to stop things when they were going too far. In the end we had more of a cuddling than sex.. And he started to kiss me, which rarely happened before... it felt like he wants me to feel good and he listened to me when I told him it doesn't feel good without kissing. We talk a lot.. He says it's not only physical attraction towards me but he also very much likes me, how we know each other, how we talk and all that is dragging him towards me. He said he always has warmth towards me even if the other girl is around.

Guys, Girls.. I really need an advice.. the problem of me having feelings towards him is making this hard sometimes.. Do you think that something more could ever happen between us? Do you think it's a waste of time for me? How can I make him want me more, chase me a little? Or maybe... should I just let it go?

thanks for help!

The whole thing is a filtering system. If you're dating someone, whether for a month or a year; if you feel truly comfortable and the girl mirrors just as much as interest.. who cares who plans what? You hear from every article on the internet that when the girl plans dates and initiates "that it would kill a guy's interest!" Only the losers would become complacent, sit back, and let the girl take the lead. It doesn't work like that.

It's all about achieving balance.

Girls, don't initiate dates to reassure yourself that he's still interested in you. Plan a date because you want to and you want to spend time with the guy. I believe it's perfectly acceptable to plan a date after a guy has done so... hence, dating is a two-way street. Of course, always make sure he is investing just as much as you.

In the beginning, I feel guys should pursue the girl for a few dates and if things go well, and you're completely comfortable with each other, you should take turns. I'll probably receive comments saying "why should the guy do all the work at the start blah blah" but to be honest, I wouldn't want to be with a guy with that attitude. I like to know they're interested. Yes, dating/courtship has changed a LOT over the decades but it's core rituals are still the same: women DO like being pursued at the beginning and men like the chase. When that "chase" is over, is where things really begin chnage - either better or for worse.

Thoughts?