Make Her Split the Bill!

pavlove
MAKE HER SPLIT THE BILL!

Gentlemen, Gentlemen...

The time has come. We all know it has. We take out girls who have their own money either from themselves or their parents. Hell, sometimes it's even MORE than we have and even in the face of that some girls expect us to pay for EVERYTHING.

Consider why you don't want to make her split the bill even though your logical mind tells you that this system of you paying for everything makes no sense. Even though you know it's...

-an antiquated system based on a SEXIST society that underpays women/ discriminates them in high paying positions thus necessitating the need for a man to take care of her financially

-not financially conducive given that nowadays most people are talking to MULTIPLE people all the time thus men are having to pay for 3 to 5 dates a week while women are allowed to go on upwards of 3 to 5 dates with 3 to 5 DIFFERENT men without ANY CONSEQUENCE that all PAY FOR HER. She can basically live off dates while he gets drowned in their expense...

Make Her Split the Bill!

-not truly showing that you respect the gender since you are taking an action which assumes you as provider though she doesn't NEED IT

The reason you do it anyway is because either you're a Disney character or more likely THE GIRLS ARE MAKING YOU PAY OR JUDGING WITHRDRAWING FROM YOU. This is a part of several strategies:

make him wait-----make him chase-----make him pay

This is not a conspiracy. The system is designed for two thing--to confirm you're interested and to make it impossible for you to do the same thing with every girl given that it draws heavily from two major resources: MONEY AND TIME. It is not to enslave a man but it's a system that most effectively leads to an eventual relationship with the happy byproduct of a lot of free meals. To be fair, a meal with a very boring guy isn't enjoyable even if the food isn't bad (thus how some girls are so ballsy they'll even get their food to go if she's getting bored even though he's paying.)

So, gentlemen, realize that you can never have back what you had because the world itself has changed. Women are often outearning and god bless that they are able to do so! We live in a MORE FREE America that doesn't discriminate. You can now fully expect your lady to be on your level financially and so it shouldn't hurt either of you to split. Of course, if it's a special occasion or you are going on the night out SPECIFICALLY TO SHOW HER YOU LOVE HER you pay but for a regular night at TGI...she can pay half.

I know it will be difficult. I know it feels anti-romantic but this is where we are now. There are other ways of establishing polarity in a relationship (the bedroom is really the only place you need) but when it comes to the restaurant booth WE SPLIT!

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Things to consider:

-Not all women will want to date you, some will just have a rule that the guy always pays. Their mother taught it to them. They won't change it. YET many women who usually live by this rule will be impressed and swayed by your conviction and will act as you would like them to act...

-Don't make a political speech about it. Don't defend the position at all. Just say I don't do that. I have women split and leave it there. Any attempt you make at defending your position will just be interpreted as an excuse for you to be cheap.

-Be prepared to see the ugly troll under the make up facade as some will be come VERY ANGRY at this.

-Make sure you do other things to show romantic interest. Some girls will interpret this as you not being interested in them as a serious partner.

-Realize that while you lose some girls doing this, the girls you do have a the girls every guy actually wishes he had. the reality is a girl who usually pays her own and is fine with it and there's no sexual/romantic consequence for it is an amazing trait.

-Don't feel you're taking advantage of her. Remember you're the one actually respecting her dignity as an equal member of the work force and her talent as a potential millionare/billionare just like yourself

Make Her Split the Bill!
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Most Helpful Guy

  • UnknownReflection
    I understand the kind of battle out there. I share my opinion while i am rarely into such games. However, you have some good points to make yet i feel you've been little bit furious as well.
    -I embrace Chivalry and one of my principles is to pay for my girl. You can say all you want. This is a choice and i take it on my own.
    -A date and furthermore a relationship should be empty of such very unwise games. There must be balance, i mean even tho i strongly willing to pay, but there must understanding in the middle. And if it's not. The relationship is not going to continue and the parties are not worthy.
    -A man must be stupid if he choose to date girls who are only seeing the value of a relation with financial capability. Then he complains but yet continue being a payment slave of those kind of women and be left alone. "This" is not girl's issue. It's the stupidity of men.
    -My girlfriend has the least value for financials. She doesn't care about money. She is independent, she always wants to work hard and have an equal share. We share everything and we have an understanding. The point is what's inside my pocket is hers and what's in her pocket is mine. It's always been the same from the first day to now which is six years since we are together.

    However, for such first dates or other certain dates, i see it totally necessary to pay on my own. It's just my principle. (However my girlfriend would slap me in the fact when i say that) lol!
    Like 10 People
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Most Helpful Girl

  • snowangle
    Fun fact: it was my father, not my mother, who initially taught me that the guy always pays.

    But I've since grown up. For two years I was in a relationship with a guy who would sometimes pay, and I would sometimes pay, and occasionally we'd split. And last night I went on a first date and we split. It's not a big deal. I'm a feminist and I appreciate being treated as an equal.

    That said, I don't mind when a guy insists on paying, either. I treat people to food/drinks/whatever if I'm able. It's just being nice. But yeah, it should be a choice and not an expectation.
    LikeDisagree 15 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • You are different from most women. Most women only want gender roles that affect them to go away.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1930
  • vonasaurus
    i am pro splitting the bill and have always paid my own way on dates (since some guys tend to think that buying us drinks=sex, even in 2016). so i just eliminate the possibility of someone thinking i "owe" them by covering my own costs.

    (my boyfriend of 2 years and i take turns paying or we split. like, if he buys dinner, i pay for the movie, and vice versa.)

    that said, i agree with @Elarra that someone who is as petty/bitter as the op is not someone i want to be with.
    Like 5 People
    • pavlove

      So funny I get called bitter when really it's that i respect women Enough to not want to be with one who can't handle her own shit and am simply tired of society judging guys who realize traditional values need a serious update. Stop trying to make little passive aggressive insults it's beneath even someone like you

  • Elarra
    Lol, nope, and here's why.

    Anybody who wants to be this petty about paying for a date isn't someone I want to be with. I want to be with someone who wants to pay because the person I'll be with will be someone I want to pay for and treat and spoil.

    Money should only be a factor in a relationship if the person you're worth has terrible spending habits. But I've never believed in splitting the bill. One person or the other should pay. I pay for my guy sometimes and he's paid for me, too. But never have we ever split it. We don't care. There's other things in a relationship to be concerned about and who's going to pay for this $20 dinner bill isn't one of them.

    People are so damn petty these days...
    LikeDisagree 26 People
    • pavlove

      That doesn't make sense either. But I'm not surprised you don't really understand how money works. You probably spend with no budget even in you your head like a child. Also you calling someone petty is yet another pathetic and cheap shot at a man for not doing what you want. I feel sorry as hell for any man who has to go on a date with you but I trust that he will quickly know to find a better woman than you

    • Yeah I agree. My girl paid for our first date and if she had tried to split the bill I would have probably moved on.

    • pavlove

      @notreallythere you're a weird man. why would you want another human to pay your bill that wasn't your parents when you've had every opportunity to succeed in this world.

    • Show All
  • bizry8
    cheap and tacky

    I can understand why guys are frustrated, social norms dictate that the person who invites pays, but straight women NEVER initiate the date so back to square 1...

    But as the guy you should still pay, honestly how much is a cup of coffee or a walk in the park?
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • pavlove

      Some people work which means it's dinner or drinks time which is still the dominant first date. You offer no actual reason why a guy should pay except for that some people Think it's tacky. I'm surprised since guys on gag are usually more logical and less shaming

  • SarahsSummer
    switch turns. Don't split it. And how many dates with how many different girls do you need to go on to find one you want a relationship with?
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    • pavlove

      Quite a few plus I don't mind all the casual sex in the process

    • So you're open to casual sex with these girls but you don't believe in buying them a cheeseburger?

    • pavlove

      No, why? What about a modern girls life needs her to have guys buy her things?

    • Show All
  • arineunha
    the guy has always paid for me for a first date and he was interested in me, other times we take turns. if we hang out as friends that's different, we pay for ourselves and split the bill.

    I saw so many of these mytakes and questions on this topics for a long time now, I don't know the huge deal
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • AleDeEurope
    If she wants to act like a whore, she can find another man. Not gonna deal with a woman who expects me to pay for her. I pay if I want to, not if she wants to.
    Like 3 People
  • Iron_Man
    Yes it's long overdue, the time has come. I spent over seven years breaking my ass for my last girlfriend buying her everything she wanted, taking her to fancy European vacations, paying rent for her apartment, buying her clothes, paying for her electric bill, you name it I did it. The time has come for the woman to take care of themselves, pull their own weight. Now my new rule is after the second date that being a good sign of faith that she should split the bill with the man 50-50
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • pavlove

      Why even do the first date?

    • Iron_Man

      I dont want to be too hard on them, that's why I said a good sign of faith at first

    • snowangle

      Dude you spoiled your lady. I'm sorry she took advantage of it but I promise that there are plenty of mature, responsible women who wouldn't let you buy everything for them.

    • Show All
  • Sonjita
    It's not really about the money, it's not about how much you spend. By paying on a date you show that you are generous and that she is special to you. If you're low on cash you can just take her to a coffee or ice cream or whatever you can afford, it doesn't have to be some expensive drinks or fancy dinners. The girl will still appreciate it. In my nation splitting the bill is rare. Here everyone fights because everyone wants to pay :D What we do is you pay on one date and I pay on the other. But again if the guy insists on paying all the time, it's ok, I'll just surprise him with some present or something. Those people that insist that everyone pays their own drink, count every cent and later remind you that you owe them a dollar or something disgust me.
    LikeDisagree 10 People
    • dontknow12

      While I don't disagree with what you're saying, I just want to point out that guys are afraid the girl we're seeing is only interested in a free meal ticket. Which is how this whole make the woman pay thing started.

    • pavlove

      But again with the way dating has changed an average guy can easily go on three or more dates in a given week with threee different girls. and again it's a date especially a first one you aren't special to him and yet this is the one where more often the guy is expected to pay for both for no reason

    • Sonjita

      Well that's because the first date is the first impression and by the end of it you can tell if you would like to see her again, and have something more. If not, ok, don't bother, insist on splitting if you care for a couple of dollars or those principles of yours so much, but if you realise that you like her, you will probably ditch all that philosophy :P

    • Show All
  • Hopefuldreamer8
    My mother raised me to pay for my own things, and I always do. It makes me very uncomfortable when people pay for me, and I am upfront about this. My mom has always believed if you want anything, you have to earn it, and you should never rely on anyone. So that's the way I live my life. Someone wanted to pay for my 30th birthday and I refused. I don't even like asking for people for help when I need it. It takes a lot for me to admit it. So not all women will feel this way about dates. I prefer it because it was the way I was raised.
    Like 4 People
  • kickme
    I disagree, I don't mind paying and I don't want a "gender neutral relationship". I prefer to pay and follow traditional male/female roles in the relationship.
    Like 6 People
    • pavlove

      That's just one element sex is really the only area a man needs to dominate everything else just demonstrates dominance but again it makes no sense given new dynamic of female earning power

    • kickme

      you need to be trusted to lead. in things like finance and automobile purchases, etc. Unless you are a dumbass. Otherwise you will get pushed into making bad choices.

  • englisc
    I'm more traditionally minded myself. I don't mind paying for dates. Often when meeting girls here they would say that they couldn't meet me because they didn't have money, and I'd have to reassure them that it's fine, I'll pay for it. Most would eventually agree to a date and appreciate it. I liked that because these girls cleary didn't feel entitled to my money. Maybe that's more of a problem elsewhere, I don't know, but in the UK this has been my experienced.

    Having said that, some have been like the girls here. It wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't so hypocritical with it. These same women are very quick to whinge about sexism and gender roles in almost every other area than this. In fact the girls I dated were less feminist minded than these women seem to be. You'd think these women constantly complaining about the mythical wage gap and all that stuff would expect to pay their share, but they don't. And then, they have the nerve to call men "cheap" or "petty" for not paying for them?

    I remember one girl I met who on the first date, after I bought a few rounds of drinks, went on about "cheap men" taking her on inexpensive dates. Then, she told me how she was working and saving her money for something, I can't remember as I'd lost interest in her by this point. But basically she expected a man to spend money on her while she saved all of hers for herself. No thanks.

    So basically while I don't mind paying for girls who are appreciative and aren't hypocritical, spoiled, entitled, fuck the ones who are.
  • Izumiblu
    Im fine with you doing this. Just count me out. There'll be other girls out there that are good with this.

    First and foremost there is just a social etiquette that should be followed. The host pays, whether its a guy or a girl. There's no need to sit down and start splitting a check, its a dinner for goodness sake. If its really that big a deal to you, then find a gal that values things the same way. Just do me a favor, when you ask me out tell me that you want me to pay my part and give me the option to say no thanks, i dont wanna be your half guest. I think that's fair. I think its reasonable for you to go do your own thing and find people that share your value on this.
    LikeDisagree 10 People
    • Lol if you do it like that it's gonna be the guy who ends up paying everytime because lets be real how many women EVER ask out a guy

    • Izumiblu

      @DanReynolds i asked out my current boyfriend, the money is not importnt to me

    • pavlove

      Lol that again doesn't hold up as men by far are expected to ask the girl out although again that's based on a system where men would exercise more power and freedom and though a woman simply couldn't ask a guy out. Anyway it also doesn't hold up because both people putting their cards on a bill can literally be done at the same time and then you sign a bill at the same time literally nothing abou that is time consuming. See the reason what you say makes no sense is because you're trying to bend logic to rationalize the fact that you want something based on emotion and not logic. It's really it just dinner it's the fact that it contradicts everything that female empowerment and gender equality is about. That being said yes I'm upfront morally I'm glad to know if a girl doesn't have any dignity or understanding of what women went through to give her financial freedom

    • Show All
  • juliaaa
    who the fuck has three to five dates a week? I stopped reading at that point because that's just made up- not typical at all.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • pavlove

      lol because I'm a male? I meet girls on the street all the time mostly coffee shops a few numbers a week there some tinder numbers a few from the bar then I also see girls i hook up with multiple times befor usually I have to end it because she wants a commitment. It's more weird because one would why the hell I would want so many girls to have to talk to

  • Mofunfour20
    Id rather just say this "time its my turn." Then the next time a payment occurs and she forgets, I take that as a sign of, "this ain't mutual." Splitting it is gonna complicate shit
    Like 1 Person
    • pavlove

      nah that doesn't make any more sense than one person paying the bill. why do some people seem to think putting two cards on the bill is a lot of work?

    • sure its still simple but what if there's some where she wants to take you?

    • pavlove

      i'm a grown person no one of either gender takes me out somewhere unless it's my birthday or something. if she wants to show me a place we can go together and split the bill. see, going to restaurants, vacationing, buying stuff is a reward of a job well done of a life well lived of a producer who's made something that people want even if its just a job thats a hire to someone else who made it. we can celebrate that success with this entertainment but not if one gender sucks up the success of one while enjoying their own. i don't care if it makes them feel special. consider this, women even ugly women like to say no hookups. in fact, ugly women especially like to have this policy why? because although they'll never be taken seriously as a girlfriend they enjoy the power that being able to control something men desperatly want. do women really want men to stop wanting to hook up? it would be a whole new ball game. just think about how'd you'd change on a date if you had no interest

    • Show All
  • RainbowFanGirl
    To be honest I wouldn't mind paying the whole bill for the guy. Just to be nice.
    LikeDisagree 15 People
  • Bandit74
    I think you made a great point about people seeing multiple people at a time. So the woman would be getting multiple free meals a week while the man is paying for multiple meals. You also have to consider what a waste that is for the man over time if most of the dates never evolve into anything sexual/romantic.

    I also don't really see the logic in the "whoever asks pays" argument that everyone keeps bringing up. What is it about asking that makes you obligated to pay? you're both taking a risk on eachother and willinly giving them time that you could have used elsewhere. Besides the logic of whoever asks pays doesn't seem to apply anywhere else. Like if a girl starts a new job and one of her female coworker asks her if she wants go out for drink after work she isn't going to expect her coworker to pay just because she asked. But suddenly when it comes to dating and the guy is the one asking then suddenly he's morally obligated to pay =.=

    Another thing to consider is that girls aren't really consistent in holding this expectation. The same girl who expects you to pay to take her out has probably sent nudes/had sex with men who didn't spend a dime on them. Now, personally I would rather be THAT guy. He got the better deal if you ask me. I also find it somewhat insulting if a girl was willing to sleep with other men without expecting anything from them in return but then with me they aren't even going to go on a second date unless I pay for the first one?

    The way I see it is the more a girl desires you the less she expects from you before being willing to sleep with you. So if she's going to lose interest in you just for not wanting to pay for the first date then she probably wasn't that attracted to you in the first place and didn't see much value in you. Or at least its safe to say she is not as into you as she was with the men who she slept with free of expectations.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • cth96190
    Better idea: stay home alone.
    Advantages: no cost; no risk of a false rape allegation; no potential for a lifetime of child-support payments; no having to deal with a batshit insane woman (a quarter of Western women are on prescription psychiatric medication).
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • lostgirl_searching
    Funny how I was getting hated for thinking this.
    I will pay for the whole thing when I plan date night. Even if my boyfriend pays I still want to at least pay half if the food I ordered was pricey.
    Like 3 People
  • oddwaffle
    The probably of the guy paying for the date is directly correlated with his desire to get into her pants.

    While I agree with you, the Neanderthal within is starting to use Math on me. I can't win.

    Can somebody give me the statistics on the relation between the probably of a guy paying for the date and his chances of getting into her pants within the 1st and 2nd date?
    Like 1 Person
  • Darkone1
    Lol, I was 100% sure this topic will appear again this month. Girls will say "You are pity but the truth is you are actually pity cuz you make the issue of it"

    I mean She will make 1000 excuses but won't pay to hide the fact that, She is pity.
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