Search Results: is my confidence hurting me

I'm 20, i've never had a girlfriend and i'm beginning to fear that i'm an unaware incel or nice guy. I did research and even asked a few close friends what they thought. But my research was inconclusive and while friends don't think I am, their observations might be a little biased. So i'd like to get a unbiased opinion.

I didn't care about girls until I was 13; i've have asked 3 girls out over the past 7 years. They all said: "i'm a nice guy... just not their nice guy". Their wording is concerning, but as I was good friends with these girls at the time, they might have just been letting me down gently.

I struggle to socialize, let alone flirt. I would sometimes buy girls small gifts before asking them out, but that was because I was unsure how to flirt;it wasn't: "but you have to love me! I spent £ on you!" I never thought I was owed a girlfriend; if I liked them and thought there was a chance they might like me, i'd ask them out.

Incels/nice guys tend to hate women after rejection, but I don't. I would be hurt at the time (especially the first) but that's their decision; they have a right to turn me down. A couple girls have asked me out before, but I didn't feel the same way and turned them down. I feel bad, but i'm also in my right to turn down relationships where I don't feel the same way right?

While I look forward to sex, it isn't the only thing I look for in a woman: I don't care if she doesn't have the biggest boobs or butt. It might sound cheesy, but what I care about most is companionship. A partner to share my life with. I wouldn't fixate on sex so much if it wasn't for me being single at age 20 not being the social norm.

I'd like to think i'm not an incel or at the very least, i'm not anymore. If I am, please help me stop.

I think it's more to do with my social ineptitude and lack of confidence which make me feel I have nothing to offer a girl. Iv'e been going to the gym, having therapy and taking up new hobbies in the hopes of improving myself.