How to Get the Girl or Guy You Always Wanted!

[DumbandDumbber]

To attract the best, you gotta be the best.

So this is gonna be a list of tips on how to be the best version of yourself and the most fun person to be around. Some tips might be obvious and others might offend some people but don't get mad at me because they work?

Being kind

Being kind boosts your mood but research also shown that being in a good mood can make you more kind. This makes it a wonderful two-way relationship which just keeps giving and people like to receive.

Favor

Ask them for a favor, the reason is that we justify our actions to ourselves by assuming that we did the person a favor because we like them.

Being honest

Don't fear hurting someone's feeling by telling the truth, the truth might hurt but in the long run people will respect and long for your opinions. Being truthful shows you are someone people can trust and shows confidence. A lot of people nowadays hide their true feelings because it might offend someone which is a big shame.

Child-like

Bring out the inner child, no one likes to be with someone who is strict and boring 24/7 so laugh, be silly, amuse yourself and have no fear of what others might think and self amusement. This will make people flock to you because who doesn't like laughter and fun?

Intentions

When you just started to date someone you can be very vague about what you want because people want a challenge. So don't tell you like him or her right away this makes people wanna figure you out. Just don't over do it, when you are over the dating fase and the other person makes their feelings clear so should you.

Positivity

Positive thinking helps us to be healthier, more productive and ultimately happier. Do I need to say more? YES I DO because the world seems to be in a state of depression, what better way to stand out then to be the source of someone's positive vibes.

Work in progress

Why do some women like bad-boys and some men bad-girls? I believe it is because they are a work in progress, something they can work on, build, mold into something they want you to be. Let them to a degree, people who like doing this want to make you better, improve you in whatever way. But if you don't to change you have to make that clear.

Empathy

Empathy goes far beyond sympathy, which might be considered ‘feeling for’ someone. Empathy, instead, is ‘feeling with’ that person, through the use of imagination. People appreciate this because we all want to be understood and feel like there is someone who suffers with us in our time of need.

Attention cycles

By cycling our attention towards someone, you make that person long for you when the cycle hits a low. This might be considered manipulating but it is how our brains work, we want the things we can't get. I don't suggest to do it all year long but taking a step back once in a while is a good move to make that person miss you and make them remember why you are in their lives in the first place.

Hope

They say hope is what makes us human so why not use it to your advantage? If you wanna attract that special person you gotta be a beacon of hope for whatever they seeking. Do they seek a strong partner? Someone who will take care of them? Maybe a future where they can travel the world? Try to find out what they want and give it to them if you can.

Opening up

We all have fears of being hurt of left behind but don't let that influence your life. If you meet someone you can trust and want to be with, show them the real you. Your fears, your goals, your wishes for life.
I believe in finding your soulmate but connecting and giving all of yourself to 1 person.

Confidence in who you are

Confidence is an awareness of who you are, regardless of how you compare or measure up to others. It shows people that you’re comfortable with yourself, which grants you a certain poise, charm, or assertiveness.
If you think you lack confidence or believe in yourself, try to figure out what it is you are insecure about and work on it.

[Browneye57]

Not bad. Don't forget being strong, being decisive, and being able to lead. Women hate weak guys.
And being rich. Make lots of money, cuz women want to know that you can support her and the 84 children she wants to have with you.

If you work hard enough on being good looking and rich you'll gain your last item - confidence. Irrational confidence. Unshakable confidence. If you're not, then fake it 'till you make it.

And women want their man to be their emotional rock - a lighthouse in their emotional storm. Besides, they really don't want their guy breaking down in tears every time they do. :)

[DumbandDumbber]

84 children lol, this is a take towards women and men. That's why I kept topics that are applicable to both but good points tho.

[Tdieseler]

This is a nice take... but this is the nice and fluffy side... this will work great... absolutely perfectly... until life hits, or the second foot comes out, until challenges arise... etc.
You want the dark side... hit me up. I have that all waiting. because the way i see it... this relationship you define... this is geared mostly towards women... all nice and fluffy with rainbows and a pretty bow.
you want the shit Men face, holla, and i'll write one. You know... the one that actually lasts longer than 3 years.

[DumbandDumbber]

Go on, let me read it then hah.

Life is nice if you make it nice, you are in control in who you marry/date.

[Tdieseler]

Are you really? because this take says the exact opposite. This doesn't sound like someone "in control"... this sounds like someone who wants to kiss ass to please the other person. So they prepare/prep, do/say all the right shit... meanwhile all the while screaming "please pick me"... my version screams control..."I pick You"... so don't give me that.

[whyisitso]

I enjoyed this, but questioned the part where you tell people to be a work in progress. Of course people should be open to learn and grow, but a relationship should not be about changing who you are. Well, I understood what you meant anyways.

I see myself doing all these things, I am still single... But I have probably been to clear about what I want, the part with intentions. It is just that I know what I want and I am an open person who empathize too much. Sometimes my interest in the other person becomes too clear, even if I haven't meant to show it. It is just who I am. I care a lot. Too much.

[DumbandDumbber]

These are my general tips for people but that doesn't mean they work for everybody.

If you are someone who is upfront about her feelings and want to change it, id suggest to be more secretive about your wants, make them guess your feelings towards them, be more playful and flirty.
I am just like you but I noticed that when people don't need to 'work you out', they put you in the 'they like me' jar and start looking around because they know they got you for backup. IF that makes sense.

But that is just my experience with women.

[whyisitso]

I have noticed the same thing. It is just that I usually don't even tell my feelings or show my intentions to them on purpose. People just guess by the way my face looks and how I smile and blush. They always tell me I am looking for a relationship, I literally never say so because I don't know if I even want a relationship. It is just that I love being with people and I might look attached to even a guy I don't like, so when I really do like them it becomes really obvious even though I try to be mysterious.

[DumbandDumbber]

Haha that is actually funny. Hearing that I'd suggest don't change anything, just wait for someone to appreciate the way you carry yourself and they will take you along.

For me personally I really like when a girl is forward like that, a lot of guys should also share my opinion.

[Dynamicbeach06]

Lmao I'd love it if both of you hit if off

[Dynamicbeach06]

*if off

[Dynamicbeach06]

Jesus. *it off

[DumbandDumbber]

@Dynamicbeach06 Haha are you trying to play cupid? I don't think my girlfriend would like that very much

[bethshepherd]

You should never want someone as if they are some sort of object without feelings and needs of their own. Setting out to get someone is calculated, cold and stupid, the best that can happen is you get them for a bit, just borrow them, and they then move on to someone nicer. You would have to be very mature to want to do this, and very selfish. Which is why I get so many people, usually women, coming to me asking me to put spells on men to MAKE THEM be with them, it is absurd and so short sighted and needy.

[DumbandDumbber]

This is just a way to get someone to like you more, never forcing someone to be with you. I dont think its cold and stupid to want someone for the rest of your life, personally. The idea of just borrowing someone maybe is popular in the west since free form dating is the norm now but I want 1 person, I can connect to, call her my own and she calls me her own.

[bethshepherd]

No in the west most prefer someone for life. But only a man would talk as if being fun and chatty is enough. Most women want a man who can be a good provider first and foremost, then if he can support them and pay the bills they check if he has problems such as drink, drugs, addictions, gambling, disabilities etc , things that would give her problems and maybe cause her to regret her choice. Most women can easily get ten men interested quickly so they are going to pick and choose and be selective, not just choose any man who has a nice smile and kind hard. I have met men who have the smile and heart but were totally childish about everything, could not even work out how to get a job or hold a job down, useless to a woman.

[yogagirl777]

I agree. I liked your post and didn't feel it was objectifying. Let the haters hate.

[Logorithim]

This is part of making yourself vulnerable to the other person, opening up, and is necessary in a successful, sustainable relationship.

[DumbandDumbber]

Well you have to be vulnerable if you want that soulmate connection or else don't start dating. So you are right about it being necessary even though it can be scary.

[ScaryCool]

Very good MyTake.
I think these are all really good attributes to have or use.
Only thing that we could use along with this is a section on actually 'breaking the ice' and starting to talk to someone. Where to begin. That's the only hurdle I'm worried about lol

[DumbandDumbber]

I'd suggest to stop thinking about women as these angels, put them in the same categorie as your friends. Then talk to them with that mindset

[ScaryCool]

Well I've got that part down for sure. I actually would like to know how to break the ice just in general as making friends is not as simple as it was in Highschool.

[dandee55]

"I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me the honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?"
"Not good."
"You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?"
"I'd say more like one out of a million."
"So you're telling me there's a chance."

[DumbandDumbber]

Positive thinking! Hah :D

[CubsterShura]

Some of those are difficult but crucial. Especially being honest and opening up as a depressed kid with terrible relationship history and now it's hard to trust anyone. Good take, I really loved it. 😊

[DumbandDumbber]

Life is not easy but it can be made easy, you are young. I would suggest you to enjoy your youth and let relationships be a thing of the future. But thats just me

[CubsterShura]

I'm actually having no physical intimacy before marriage.

[DumbandDumbber]

I am not talking about sex, about your state of mind.

[CubsterShura]

In that case I'm pretty much enjoying life. Wait no, studies are killing me, lmao.

[Pejtu]

it doesn't matter what you do if they are into you they are into you
they just gotta have the courage to tell you
u can't change yourself nomatter what u do and how hard u want it
u can pretend to be someone else but what if u then stop being yourself
and u finnally dont know who you are at the end
Then what?

[ObscuredBeyond]

I find it very hard to empathize truly something I have never experienced. Although, sympathy is very easy. Not a perfect substitute, but I go pretty far to cheer someone up.

[DumbandDumbber]

These are just general things you can do, you don't have to apply everything in your life. Sympathy is better then nothing

[JimRSmith]

I really enjoyed this, a lot of positive energy to it, and was nice to read first thing in the morning.

Thanks again!

[DumbandDumbber]

Have a good one.

[Lostranza]

Hmmm I think this can be true!!! I think that being positive and thinking positively attracts positive people and positive energy!

[DumbandDumbber]

I believe so too, I myself find positive people attractive.

[bubble_tea]

Great take on how to get someone. How to keep that someone you've always wanted? - Continue to be or do the things that made them fall for you. Kinda tricky if that's not how you are.

[MusicMayhem]

So you mean to say you were being someone else to attract them initially then? This is why people shouldn't jump into relationships so fast because someone's true self will come out after a while and you can see if they really are a match for you.

[bubble_tea]

@MusicMayhem No, I mean everyone shows their best version of themselves at the beginning, because it's easy to be all that to a stranger, especially when you find them attractive and want them to want you too.
In a relationship, where you consistently see each other for a much longer time than a date, for days or even weeks straight or even living together is when you find out what they normally are. Nobody can be the best version of themselves for a prolonged time if that's not how they truly are.
Even if you've known someone since childhood, the way they treat you as a friend is different than the way they treat you as their s/o. The closer you are, the more you see of the true self.

[MikkiM]

I believe becoming the best. works for the best mate. Its just for me, there is no limit to hold on to that energy you havr in you

[monkeynutts]

All good points, the bad girl/guy selecting criteria is interesting because I chose naughty girls, they have a lot of character. and always surprise you. They always compliment me.

[DumbandDumbber]

Compliments are nice to get, maybe thats why you was drawn to them hah.

[cherryphi82]

This is a really good take. I love it. Especially bringing out the inner child!

[DumbandDumbber]

Thank you! People should have fun in life, everything is so serious and depressing. Let's just all be silly.

[levantine99]

like a bad mainstream lukewarm article. nothing that really works

[Janieyu]

i have been all of that and still, that didn't shift a thing !

[Lance1965]

Damn, seems like a lot of work but I guess it is all true. It is really worth it considering half of that stuff the average guy would have to fake anyway.

[TheUglyMan]

All these things mean fuck all. You missing the only things that matter to chicks. Looks , money, status.

[DumbandDumbber]

If that would be the truth, then only rich, handsome and powerful men would get a woman.

[TheUglyMan]

They do and men who have at least some of these qualities do too. The ones who don't have them are doomed.

[bethshepherd]

Depends on the woman. If the woman has no status and money she has to make do with a man who is the same. If she has status and money she will run a mile from a needy man who cannot meet her half way with the responsibilities and bills.

[Anonymous]

i mean all that doesn't matter if you are below average in looks. believe me i know from experience.

[DumbandDumbber]

There are tons of people who date someone 'out of their league'.

[NewYear-NewMe]

I need to develop these. I don’t think I’m noticed at all by most girls as boyfriend material.

[DumbandDumbber]

You will if you try to be the best version of yourself, in whatever way.

[NewYear-NewMe]

I mean maybe? I don’t feel all that attractive to girls right now. Because of that I’m shy around most of them

[CasaNorba]

bro you need to lay of the PUA bullshit once and for all

[niDaye]

what if this man happens to lost the interest after sex？

[DumbandDumbber]

Are you talking about yourself?