Search Results: how can i prove to him i love him still

I'm the only one in the family who know that my dad is cheating my mom and maybe has another family.
My grandma who I love the most, is blind from my childhood, she's living at nursing home which is far from my home so I can't meet her, and lately she began to be really sick.
I have social anxiety and I have stage fright.
I am very good at singing, dancing and drawing, but I can't prove myself to others because of the stage fright, so it is like hell to have those things but not being able to do anything
I can't love myself, all of the people around me say that I am thinner than average, but I still find places that not thin enough so I don't really eat.
All of my childhood I lived waiting for my parents to come home and play with me, because my big brother always cursed me and made me cry and my big sister was too busy studying, but, when my parents got home, they changed their clothes and went to parties, so I basically was the one who cleaned the house when my sister was studing.
I have only one friend who really loves me and give her heart to me (we are bff) and she have now a really good friend that she met online.
I have more than 5 years an illness, that I don't know a lot about.
I didn't take the medicine for it all of this time and my doctor said that if I won't take the medicine eveyday from now, than I'll stroke.
I decided not to take the medicine.
More than die, I was afraid hurting my bff, but now she have another really good friend and it's a relief, but still, she says that I'm more than everything for her, lately, my physical condition is really bad and dangerous, so I fought with her and now we don't talk, I did it so she will be less sad about me.
My family said that if I'll start to take it, they will take me to mental hospital because they can't handle me.
I was always afraid of living, and now, maybe I won't die from stroke, but still, I think 2017 is my last year. Still, there's something that makes me wonder if I should take the medicine.