Search Results: what you would change about your partner

My husband said it made him feel like he had a trophy wife knowing most other men want me but only he has me. It added to his confidence.

On the other end of the spectrum, I have had men behave in insanely jealous ways because they know how many other men want me.

One went through my emails determined to prove I was cheating, because I had so many options. He started yelling at me for emails he found from 5 years before we even met! I went on a date with a guy when we were just friends (before dating), and he tried to convince me the guy made a sex tape and he blackmailed the guy into not releasing me to save me. The guy and I never even had sex. We were fully clothed the whole time, kissed a bit, and then I decided he was not for me at all. He snuck into my phone and stole pictures I had from years before. He went on my social media and deleted any man.

He and others attacked male friends to me.

Other guys constantly ask me who I have been with recently and scoff with disbelief when I say no one. They say, "A hot girl like you? Yeah right. You have men knocking down your door." Yes, but I don't want to have sex with every guy who pursues me.

The most recent ex turned it into a competition in his head. He saw that if I actually tried I could get over 1,000 date offers in 24 hours. It really messed with him. He spent years trying to get attention from other women as if it was a competition. He kept cheating with girls way below even his own standards, because he was afraid he'd never get the chance again. He felt validated for a moment until the next 100 rejections piled on and he felt lonely, desperate, and worthless again. He lost his family over it. He didn't even really like the girls or the sex. He had better at home in every way, but he became obsessed. We couldn't even have sex because he lost all of the confidence that attracted me to him and couldn't perform. It really changed him for the worst. He lost sight of what he had over something so petty.

I’m curious, when it comes to self control, who has more? You? Or your partner? Has it changed over the time you’ve dated or have been together?

Twenty+ years ago when I first dated, I would have answered me but I’m not sure about now.

The first question above was for the poll.

This second question is a bonus one so feel free to not respond to it if you don't feel comfortable. It's just asking for personal advice. Thank you in advance to all who vote/reply.

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I have worried that friendships don't form in my life because maybe some can tell I was abused growing up and they don't want to get closer.

I want to try to find out Why there seems to be a barrier stopping friendships from forming (a condition which has been present for many years now and is really taking its toll).

I was told by a professional that I have a flat affect: its when your face during interation or conversation with someone shows no emotion or change and supposedly this is disconcerting for the conversation partner to witness, to the point that they will not want to talk to you in the future or think that you are emotionless or psychopathic.

Internally (especially in private) I am emotional, but when in front of people there usually an energy drainage in procession: As much as I feel attached or caring towards people, especially certain ones, quickly I lose energy around them.

I also just do not want to be open, and this is instinctive. I have so many memories of being harassed and feeling so low down growing up from childhood and all the way into high school. Not sure if that is typical for everyone else but that feeling of not belonging, fear, and feeling like something was always wrong with me and needed to be changed to fit in, and never succeeding at fitting in defines my period of growing up. Not only was I facing bullies in peers but my caregivers tore me down too.

So the question here was if people can sense I was hurt and broken down growing up and if this is something that is making them not be attracted to friendship with me.