What’s Your Best Post-Breakup Advice? I’m Asking For A Friend.

[BluFashion]

Yesterday, my partner and I broke up. Yeah yeah, I know: first world problems.

At some point, I’ll likely write about this again because right now, it is very fresh in my brain, so most of what will come out will just be sad, desperate, cliche metaphors that pour like Syracuse in April (see? Awful!). I briefly contemplated trying to make light of it in all the regular BuzzFeed/Upworthy ways:

• 10 Things So Wrong With Me, I’ll Be Alone Forever
• You’ll Never Believe How Disgusting My Contacts Look After I Cried For 4 Hours
• The Definitive Ranking Of Cry Faces, According To My Cry Face
• He Texted Me Something Adorable, But Then This Happened & Changed It All
• 25 GIFs Of All Our Mementos Being Thrown Out Last Night

There is a special brand of deep, sick pain that comes from a breakup. Sure, I’ve been in more physically painful, frightening situations, but that doesn’t mean my insides don’t currently feel like someone’s poured rum on them and lit a match. (Again, with the awful metaphors, Sam!) I can’t eat. I woke up at 5 in the morning. I cried to my mom on the phone all night and all morning.

So, y’know, things will get better, and I realize that, but they just really, really suck right now. And while I understand that only time will make that feeling subside, I do want to either numb it as much as possible or speed it up or something. And that’s where you nice folks come in!

Tell me your best breakup advice. I am fortunately not the type of person who lurks exes on Facebook/social media, but other than that, I am admittedly stumped on anything that really helps. I feel like an idiot asking this, though, so please be gentle with me.

[notatrap]

Best thing to do is to find closure if you think you need it.

My ex and I got back together a few times because we had such a good chemistry, then it still just didn't work. It was tough for both of us cause we always remained pretty close.

So if you need to convince yourself, do it in the mirror by yourself, with a friend, or directly w your ex. Think through the reasons why it ended, that should help you process getting over them.

[notatrap]

Sorry this happened to you, heart break sucks.

[BluFashion]

Thank you so much for your opinion, I really appreciate it!

[Guy13]

Picture is absolutely accurate.

[peachyknees]

Do not search for answers. Don't over-analyze the situation thinking that once you get an answer you will feel better. You can only rely on whatever your partner tells you, if he chooses to do that, and not even then you can be certain that he's telling the truth. So, try to take things as they are.
Apply the „No Contact” policy, meaning to delete your partner & block him from all social media and other places where he can find you. Don't worry over how it will make you look; it will allow you to focus on yourself.
Be prepared for waves of emotions - sometimes you will suddenly feel sad, other times you will remember the joyful moments spent together, some other times you might feel angry etc. Get ready! Also, if you can, try to have as many activities as possible, while dedicating a one hour break to thinking about your relationship (I hope you get what I'm saying, it has to do with confining the time spent thinking about what happened).
Last but not least, focus on yourself :)

[Lynx122]

I'd just endure the pain and get over it slowly I don't think there's really anything else you can do. I would just block him on social media cause looking at it will just make it take longer to get over him and hurt more. I'm not an expert on this but it's what I would do ^^

[BluFashion]

Thanks for your great input.

[Angel_33]

When im break up with mine frist girlfriend im feel so happy and mine own wings grow, becouse she not be good person know as energetic vampires and all see bad way. In this time im have dog and her be mine best friend. So later im rather very patient and try make little steps, and patient wait what life send to me. Hope one woman at im think so long time can come. She is mature as im, here im be in noendless circle and time go next and next. So im teach be happy alone with myself, life with mine inner calm. All around me come in right time.

[BluFashion]

Interesting opinion, thank you for the great feedback.

[Silverio_Stieger]

First of all, who's the breaker and who's the broken one? It's important as I said in another survey, generally the broken one would have unfinished business with the breaker and will have tendencies to try to coming back.

Secondly, when you've a break up, the Law of 72 hours take place: you have between 48 and 72 hours max to take the pros and cons of your late relationship in order to stay clear-minded and avoid the risk of down into depression (i. e. pros you'll keep 'em safe in a well-hided chest, and cons drop 'em to the garbage).

Thirdly, the old saying that a nail drives out another nail, doesn't work. You may believe it is, but actually you're just veiling your face. Doesn't work. Maybe helps for the first days but ultimately you will fall depressed.

Alter a break-up you must take time to take caring of your wounds to, positively re-energize yourself. Take your time. Nothing's urgent

[Silverio_Stieger]

Oh and, there's no deep/worst mistake than come back to your ex. Once the diaper is dirty you don't put it back 😉

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Advice for men: Take time to yourself. Hot the gym, work on projects, become better at your job, do things that you've missed doing while you were in the relationship, just enjoy the general freedom from accountability to another. Do things that make you feel interesting that you are proud of.

Advice for women: For the love of God don't just jump back into dating. Take some time to improve yourself. Realize that you are not completely without fault for the fights that you had in your part relationship. You will have literally 100x maybe 1000x the opportunities that the average man has post breakup, don't jump into something new for a long time. If you do, you will only normalize your failures from your part relationships and become a shell of the person you are, and be properly disappointed in your partners and in the end you'll develop an addiction to the dopamine dump that is only there in the initial stages of a relationship.

[visha0811]

Cause man can't forget true love of his partner in whole life

[Venusday]

Accept that it’s okay to not have all the answers

[imfreeze95]

Spend time with friends

[Anonymous]

Keep your mind busy