Real Masculinity: What Makes A Man A Man, And How It's NOT Toxic

[Anonymous]

"Toxic masculinity, the idea that there is only one way to “be a man”—strong, tough, unfeeling and aggressive—is a double-edged sword. " - taken from an online article on toxic masculinity

While reading a thread on GAG today, something one user mentioned caught my eye: it was a male user (won't mention his username) who was advocating for men that women's expectations are unrealistic now, and not just women's but society's too. This is nothing new. However, the next thing this user said really shocked me, and I thought Wow, I wish all men were like that! This guy is a REAL MAN!
The user simply said, "I don't care what anyone expects of me. I'm a man and I will stay a man, whether that means adapting with society when I need to or leading a revolt. Regardless of what women think, I am a man and that's not going to change."

So to start this off, I want to say that this male user was RIGHT, and this guy leads the example of what men should be and what makes a man a real man. He's basically considering the fact that women as a whole gender have various preferences when it comes to partners, but he's going to remain a man true to himself regardless. I will say that THAT'S what I want in a man!

This guy had an Alpha mindset.

Mindset is the core of everything. Mindset determines your actions as well as your emotions and how they tie together. The first thing a real man has is the mindset that he likes who he is and that he can adapt to anything when necessary - or snap a bone when he needs to. He knows that either way, he's a leader and doesn't run the same way with the rest of the pack, which means that if a woman tells him to rollover and let her kick him like a dog he won't do it! Women have a lot of different demands of men nowadays, and sadly many men are giving in to these crazy demands just to get on the woman's "good side." That does NOT make you a man; it makes you a follower and a loser. But confidence and an optimistic self-respect for himself is the first thing that makes a man a real man.
This is NOT to be confused with conceit and arrogance, which is demonstrated below:

Nobody is perfect, so don't try to fake it.

Part of a confident mindset is acknowledging that you're not perfect but knowing that you are improvable and being thankful for the imperfections you do have as a man. (Again, this is a difference between confidence and arrogance.) Faking something is one of the most laughable things you can try - especially if you're trying to fake perfection because you'll never ever succeed, so good luck with that. Look at your flaws and smile at your image in the mirror. :)

Real men are strong in pursuit of what they want.

Real men don't plan on blending into society and staying in the crowd all their lives. Instead, they make something of themselves. This doesn't mean the guy has to become some five-star celebrity, but it DOES mean that he has to put in the work ethic. A real man can be a man sitting at home watching t.v. right now, who consistently goes to his job every day without fail and makes his own living. Even deeper, a real man can be a man who hasn't even moved out yet and still lives with his parents - maybe he even has mental issues, let's throw that in there - but he's WORKING HARD FOR SOMETHING. Perfect example of this: Bill Gates became a billionaire, starting off by staying in his little computer room and working toward a dream. He even dropped out of college. Now look: he's one of the richest guys on the entire planet.

This also applies to wanting a certain woman. If there's one particular female you feel like you just have to have, then consider this: if you don't try then you can't succeed. If the woman rejects you and you still have feelings, don't be afraid to make sure she still knows you want her. This doesn't make you less of a man; it shows your humility and self-respect. If you lose those feelings and move on, that also shows self-respect. The point in this is... Go after what you want. The worst thing you can do is to still have those feelings in the end and never have gotten what you wanted.

Real men show their emotions because they have peace within themselves.

A man who feels the freedom to express his true emotions is a rarity. Men are human just as women are. The difference in emotional expressions between men and women is that men are not as emotional as we are, but that doesn't and shouldn't mean that when they are feeling emotional they can't express it. Honestly, I find that demand to be inhumane. A real man will be himself, which includes how he prefers to express his emotions, regardless of what the critics of society say. They can't stop him from being human, and everybody needs that freedom. A real man feels free.

A real man is respectful.

As a woman, I can say that we are absolutely not perfect either. However, we all need to respect what should be respected. That goes both ways. For example, a real man does hold the door for a woman, but he DOES NOT sleep with a woman who's well-known to be promiscuous. This is out of respect - both for himself and also for the women. And trust me, in turn we women respect him greatly and mightily for it.

Plus, I don't just mean this telling you to respect women in general. This applies to when a man has a female partner - whether it's his wife, girlfriend, fiance, etc. A real man won't treat her the same way he treats other women. He singles her out and makes her feel significant. This doesn't require giving her the world or doing expensive things. It simply means showing her that she's more important than any other woman in his life, even through the smallest ways possible.

Real men are dominant and don't surrender their dominion. Real men have no problem taking the dominant side of a relationship. They have no issue asking a woman out (considering that they're ready for a relationship) or making suggestions. They don't expect women to lead them; instead, they lead the women. Real men have this assertive dominant quality that is just so fine <3

Real men take responsibility.

This is in reference to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Real men actually hold themselves accountable for their own actions, and that makes it fairly easier for them to take the consequences that come with them. Again, nobody is perfect. Everybody's gonna mess up sometimes. Take responsibility for everything you do, and take it with pride, because a man who has no sense of self-respect and responsibility is not well-liked among women for it.

Conclusion: I greatly admire that one GAG user for his words. I have never seen another male user on here stand up for himself that way; instead, all I've seen are the males trying to conform and please everybody else - especially the women. And for the other guys... You don't have to be an Alpha to be a real man, but you DO have to put in the effort and try.

Even given the definition of toxic masculinity and the degrading factors that a lot of women place on men these days, that does NOT mean that you can't be desirable among women - regardless of who you are. When you chase and try to please, you won't be able to please everybody, and you'll end up getting a reputation you never intended to have. Stay true to yourself, be the man YOU want to be, and the rest will fall into place.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Yep, I agree.

A lot of guys on here criticized you for posting about your opinion on what men should be, because a woman shouldn't be telling a man how to be a man. That's completely true.

I can't help but notice, though, that in the few years I've been on GAG, only a handful of men actually even bring up the conversation. That is, if you don't count dudes just taking potshots at Feminism or how they feel like modern men are sissies (good examples of tearing other people down rather than working to improve your own lot).

I don't think, if I were to make a similar post, that I would say anything different. I am pretty growth-oriented and I have a lot to say about that and how it influences masculinity, though, so maybe I'll make a post about it this weekend.

[myTake Owner]

True. And if you notice, the ones who are only posting negative things on this take are the same ones who cause trouble throughout the whole site and don’t want to put in the effort. The positive ones are open-minded to it.
But yeah, that’s why I have kept a distance on this from arguing with them. It’s not worth it. When you argue with a fool you only make a fool of yourself. So don’t bother with them lol, we women are still the picky ones so it’s not like they’re gonna win anything

[joeblow123]

@HungLikeAHorsefly

"taking potshots at Feminism"

Deservedly so.

"examples of tearing other people down rather than working to improve your own lot."

Not me. I engage in political activism to cause positive changes.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@joeblow123 Oh yeah? How?

[joeblow123]

@HungLikeAHorsefly

Which one are you questioning?

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@joeblow123 You. How do you engage in political activism?

[joeblow123]

This is how: mensrightsboard.blogspot.com/search?q=activism

[joeblow123]

@HungLikeAHorsefly

The activism post is directed to you.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@joeblow123 Very good. Who are you in that article? Did you write it? It was nine years ago, so it wasn't directed at me ;)

[joeblow123]

@HungLikeAHorsefly

It's my blog and it is activism I have engaged in. I use black font for first-person or yours truly. Blue font is 2nd person or a news article. I use green font for 3rd person. There a lot of things that we have accomplished too:

My response was directed to you. I forgot to add the "@" in the reply with the link in it.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

@joeblow123 Ah, okay. Good job then. Do you think most guys here on GAG engage in the same sort of thing?

[joeblow123]

@HungLikeAHorsefly

Very few. I would say most here are pussywhipped manginas.

[Mynameisbobby]

Being caring and considerate of others doing the right thing you think is right not what everyone else thinks is right. Standing up for what's right isn't always easy in a world where everyone has a certain view of how a man or boy should act. I would rather stand up for what's right than follow everyone else even if it means I have no friends. Everyday I set an example for my little brother Jimmy who is such a caring little kid. Being a man/boy isn't about being tough it's doing the right thing at the time. Good take.

[myTake Owner]

Agreed! And thanks Bobby :) your brother is fortunate to have a great example

[Mynameisbobby]

You're welcome! And thank you.

[Jynxmicheal]

Well said Bobby...

[Mynameisbobby]

@Jynxmicheal Thank You!

[Mynameisbobby]

Thanks for MHO!!

[joeblow123]

@Mynameisbobby

You have a good outlook. Especially in this day and time where schools favor girls over boys. From what I've read a lot of boys are tuning out society by retreating to video games. I certainly can't blame these boys. What men want to be nagged on a regular basis? None. If their fathers and grandfathers failed to take a pro-active stance against feminism then those fathers and grandfathers failed their sons, grandsons and nephews. The fact that you want to be a positive influence to your younger brother is admirable. I wish you both the best.

[_inkRat]

@joeblow123 honestly i think we aren't doing much to fix it, but then again we as men can probably survive storm. But @Mynameisbobby said it right doing what you feel is right even when world is against you is hard, but its even harder to be your own men. Its something Im still learning.

[joeblow123]

@_inkRat

We can fix it. We can give boys like Bobby a better future: https://mensrightsboard.blogspot.com/

[alligatorblues]

It's always interesting what women think makes a man a man. About alpha males. Males of certain animal species compete for mating rights, by combat, and the stongest mates all the females. That ome is the alpha male. There is no alpha female. And 'beta male' is totally fabticated, without scientific basis.

What I observe in popular culture to be an alpha male is some combination of masculine traits developed in Western Europe under the Christian religion. The, an alpha male would first be Christian. Women are not well-treated in other cultures.

In South Korea an office had a sign that is translated, 'Virgin brides for sale! If she runs away in the first year, we'll replace her for free.'

In China, the government can legally force women to have abortions. In Africa, adult men anally rape girls infant girls, because it is thought to cure AIDS.

In Mexico, Latin America, and South America, women are routinely beaten, or acid is poured on them or down their throats, for defiling a man's honor. My cousin is a police officer. He told me, Mexican males freely admit to him that they didn't do anything wrong. They were just beating their woman. They are surprised that the arresting officer doesn't beat 'his' woman!

In india, almost every female endures physical abuse just being out on the street.. it's called, 'Eve Teasing', and it's sick that it's tolerated as harmless! A nine-year-old girl was sentenced to 100 lashes for losing her virginity before marriage. She had been raped by her father!

The Middle East, except Israel, is legendary for injustice toward women. Rape victims can be executed. Female Christian converts can suffer torture, captivity, and get raped daily until they recant. Saudi Arabia started giving driver's licenses to women last year. Indonesia arrests females wearing tight pants.

Jesus Christ is the difference. Woman's rights originated in Christianity. The concept of women of women being treated well is Christian. An alpha male is pure, raw masculine, Christian male. He gives to the poor, defends the weak, fights injustice, stands for truth, reveres God, prays each day, reads the Bible, and protects a woman's chastity!

[Mickey9999]

Men are men. And women are women. Although we are alike in so many ways, we are not the same nor do we think the same. The older I get, the more I realize this is exactly why I’m so attracted to them. It doesn’t matter what level of physical or sexual attraction, there’s some small minute attraction no matter what just because they are men. Doesn’t matter how muscular or heavy they are. Doesn’t matter how much hair they do or don’t have. Doesn’t matter how much money. Doesn’t matter what they drive. Not they’re age. Men are men and I look at all of them... not all of them make my body respond but they are all worth giving a look and sometimes a second or third or even an approach. I love they way they go about their work no matter what it is... they make it look effortless when most days I can barely drag myself out of bed for work. I love how they sit behind the wheels of their vehicles all casual but yet on a mission. I love the way they wear their hats whether down low or high. Everything just because they’re men. Don’t have to figure out anything beyond that. If questioned, and I’ve seen it posted here before, they’d answer the same way. So women, think a little less and just love men for them.

[myTake Owner]

I see what you mean, and I love everybody simply because I'm a Christian and it's part of my religion and culture - to love everybody. However, I'm not going to love a person just because he has a dick dangling between his legs. There are all kinds of people, and some are obviously more attractive than others. For a counter-example: a man is less likely to appreciate a woman who is a prostitute and has slept with 37 different men. He's more likely to appreciate a more reserved woman who respects herself. And that's not a bad thing on the man's part; it shows his self-respect. It's the same thing.

[Mickey9999]

Just because someone has a dick doesn’t mean I love them. My point being is that I don’t judge men or women for that matter into a further label. I appreciate men for the assholes some of them are or can be as im sure men do the same for women. I get and understand your take and it’s worded well but I stand with the guys who have said something about another women telling us how to be. I don’t want to be told how to be a woman not that I think this is what your attempt was. I just appreciate people for who they are and expect the same in return. Not because of culture or religion or anything except for its the right thing to do. There’s no set mold for anyone...

[Regmorus]

Great mytake! I agree with everything in spite of the circumstance that some things of the mentioned I'm hardly going to ever implement or think to implement in my life because of own conscious decision not to do since it'd be against my inner nature. Anyway as an ideal towards which one should strive for the majority of the men population it's exactly THE IDEA.

Ironic a bit, though not bad at all but kinda didactic to us, that mytake of this kind that is so perfect is presented by a woman... Maybe bad in the sense that I don't remember to have seen here a comparable one about men written by some man and that is sad.

And to stay faithful to my general concept of unity of humans in every aspect instead of division I should mention that like by any other mytake about the topics what is a good..., there are some things in this one that relate to personality improvement that are applicable and should be applied by and to women as well.
But this again is maybe just about my conviction every human has to embrace the good of both genders and to learn to supress when needed the bad of both in their mind and actions for the better of themselves and of their neighbor.

[Regmorus]

What I mean: whoever you are, be a Human and that is already much and enough. If you want to play specially in the league of your gender too, it's great, but when you are Human, it's enough. IMHO

[myTake Owner]

Thanks! And yeah, apparently a lot of the guys on here misunderstood what I was saying lol

[Regmorus]

Well they've read that with their very special glasses on that kinda make blind... Nothing to wonder about the reaction. I think the true reason of their unhappiness is exactly the thought I brought up that it is sad that no men on gag write such mytakes about men. Only that these certain commentators are unable to see it for what it really is and they hide it from themselves behind accusations and disbelief that a woman could teach a man who he should be. Unable to see real things (even about themselves and their perception) that collide with their illusions and prejudices - they deserve only compassion for that...

[standingUP]

That was a lot to read but a real man would read that. I absolutely agree. I would like to add that automatically taking control of your life’s situation family work out in society. When it comes to anyone needing someone to step up and handle any issue. I would already be their to help or support without hesitation.
I have so many examples that are fresh in my head that just erks me.
One: my ex girlfriend moved back home with her mother uncle older sister and 22 year old nephew. 6 people in that house 2 adult males. Their beautiful California home is falling short of maintenance. Everyone is aware of the problem an easy fix for me. Washing machine hose. Without detail. I would have it done in 10 minutes at the most. Instead non of them are attempting to even look at it. With piles of cloths adding for weeks now. Ick they are not trashy people. So this is confusing me why they are putting up with it. She calls me wishing I was here I’m yelling at her about why the fake males are not taking control and at least attempt fixing it.
I’m so pissed at guys today so timid and weak and careless lazy.
I do not understand this mentality. It got so bad in the past. That my 10 vacations that I worked so hard at work to earn. Was spent remodeling and fixing up their home from plumbing gutters roof installing a wall doors. Fixing lamps building shelving etc. While I should have been on the beach surfing or just enjoying not being at work providing.
Sickening

[jaybee281]

What you wrote is very true i usually don't like when girls give their opinion on guys because it's usually just be nice or don't sexualize a girl or you have to be tall and stupid superficial crap like that that guys believe and makes them less of the man they should be which decreases their confidence due to what they heard.. While right here you got it you really do like if any insecure guy reads this and literally just keeps the headlines that you wrote in his head and work on them he'll be on the path of great self improvement thanks for writing some real shit

[myTake Owner]

Well thank you. Appreciate it :)

[genericname85]

hey i just wanted to critique that chart, which i know isn't your chart but well... it is just not quite right.

Seeking vor validation, hating to be wrong, and highlighting flaws in others is not "toxic" or "arrogant". those are very basic psychological mechanisms, that every human applies. humans naturally hate being wrong. they wanna be right. that's why they seek truth and don't stick with falsehoods. validation is what litterally everyone seeks for, cause that's a good tool to gage your own "value" in society. highlighting flaws in others is a way to not feel depressed about how shitty you are yourself. it's social psychology 101. this isn't "toxic".

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for explaining it that way because that makes sense!

[genericname85]

i think generally it is not a good idea to put the the word "toxic" with "masculinity". just call individuals that are toxic "assholes" xD don't call their entire gender toxic. i mean i know there are feminazis that are very toxic. yet i don't call that "toxic femininity". i don't even judge all feminists for those few black shep. i think it's more healthy for men and women to identify individuals as black sheep and not associate that with huge groups of people.

i see it as "ok" to bunch up some typical "asshole moves" that generally only men do, not women and label that whatever... but with the term "toxic masculinity", people seem to associate all sorts of (maybe even just subjectively for them) unfavourable beaviour and bunch that all into the concept of "toxic masculinity"

you see sometimes "kompetence" can seem like "arrogance" to people that are not well informed or less educated. i know this from myself. i feel like someone is "arrogant" if they tell me shit that they know better than me. it is really hard to gage if you're being right about thinking they are arrogant or just being more competent than you... i'm not sure if those labels like "toxic masculinity" help or if they will just make you ignore and judge people before even knowing them...

[Thatsamazing]

Well-said.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

You're right that things like highlighting flaws in others is a basic human instinct, but I think the OP's message here is that a so-called "real man" overcomes these instincts. I mean, fear is also a primordial human emotion that everyone has... yet a lot of us manage to overcome it on a daily basis.

If you have to highlight flaws in others to make yourself feel better about being a loser, then that'd be a very unworkable environment for everyone involved. It's about as "toxic" as you get.

In general, people who are interested in working on themselves, who are goal oriented and always striving to achieve those goals - those people don't have the time or interest to point out other people's flaws. With one caveat: if you do it to help someone improve themselves. It's kind of an art to do it without triggering some sort of confrontation, though. A lot of "men" never learn it and their desire to "help" is often more destructive than constructive - another form of toxicity.

[myTake Owner]

@HungLikeAHorsefly Thank you for pointing that out !

[genericname85]

@HungLikeAHorsefly no, this is not some sort of "primordial flaw". this is litterally how you stay mentally healthy... that's what i was trying to explain. i highly suggest you study a bit of socialpsychology. specifically considering social comparison strategy. it litterally is the only way whith wich you can keep a healthy self esteem and not fall into depression, cause you think you're worthless garbage.

knowing about those processes is a good thing but stopping them is not possible. awarenes is good but not supression of those things.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I can say this as someone who has grappled with chronic depression the majority of my adult life: tearing other people down is not a viable coping strategy for that. Nor is it a healthy way to build and maintain self esteem. The only way to quit thinking you're worthless garbage is to work on not being worthless garbage.

[genericname85]

@HungLikeAHorsefly well obviously you're not supposed to go over there and verbally "tear them down" xD if you meant that, then yes that's not ok.

the problem is the method of comparison. do you compareyourself with Bill Gates and Steve Hawking or some gifted Asian child who plays the piano better at 4 years old than you? well then you can obviously only come to the conclusion that you're garbage.
you have to compare yourself with people that are worse too and come to the conclusion that you're better. that's what i mean. not going over and verbally abusing them for being worse than you in one comparison that you made xD

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Oh yeah, I was talking about guys who always have to be pointing out other people's flaws - either directly or indirectly. Basically, bitching about what other people do wrong.

Also, taking note of other people's failings can be instructive, in a "I'll make sure I don't do that" kind of way.

[Anonymous]

I'm the guy who made that comment. Now that your so impressed with me can we have sex pls, pls, pls?
Anyway I don't understand the female obsession with masculinity and it's definition. How can a woman know what masculinity really is and what it feels like to be masculine? I never tell you how to ease those period cramps because i have no idea what they are. Same goes for women and masculinity. It's ironic that these days women are so preoccupide with masculinity when they can spend some time learning how to be feminine. Seriously, modern women have no hint of femininty in them and need someone to teach them how to be feminine.

[myTake Owner]

I agree with everything you said in general. The only cautions on it are that 1) I grew up feminine and was purposely raised to be feminine. (Not bragging, basically with this I'm just saying that all of us aren't the same just as all men aren't the same.) and 2) Obviously we don't know what it "feels like" to be masculine, but the same way you're saying that modern women need to be more feminine is the same way I approached posting this take, just vice versa.

[SeanieBoy28]

Yes exactly. I was a raised without my father and only by my mother. My whole life I've been called names such as gay or fag because I appear a bit feminine. But I can't help it

[Opinion Owner]

I know i sounded like a hypocrite in my comment. I can spot a feminine woman because my instincts help me do that. They attract me but i can never tell exactly what makes her feminine. You notice masculine guys because women are naturally attracted to them, but to know why they're masculine and to teach other guys how to be masculine is a different thing altogether.

[Mynameisbobby]

@SeanieBoy28 I know exactly what you mean. I was abused by both my mother and my sister which makes it hard for me to trust girls because of this boys will have a girl come up to me asking me if I want to go out with them when I say no they laugh and say I'm gay which I'm not but if they really got to know me they might understand why I feel the way I do. If a boy doesn't like a girl touching him all the time they think you must be gay which is ridiculous. I say get to know the person first judge them on character not what society says a boy/man that people believe they should be. Being a bully is being a coward anyone can do that but it takes a lot of courage to not follow what's easy and to do the right thing. Sorry for the rambling.

[PassionPlaya]

Kinda Sharing roles as some men and women need to teacheachother and not assume the world is waiting for Top 40 Fake Charts...

[PassionPlaya]

I stand strong for Who I am and What I Believe, some Men just get all Testy and women act as if I failed some tests... crazy NO CONTEST!! Really, I often used to wonder what's up? But now I know and teaches me Tons of patience and Honorabilitiy , but I'm staying Better Not Bitter and All Lessons are My Blessings... I will remain a Genuine Strong Loving Passionately Motivated By Humility...

KINDNESS IS SOoooo Fkn GANGSTERISM !

[DanielAppleton15]

Honestly read the title of this and thought it would be an angry rant telling us man up.

But I read this and really loved it. Thanks for a great my take👌

Being true to you’re self, accepting that you’re human and showing your emotions is what being a Man means to me.

The only part I disagree with is the Man leading the Woman in a relationship.

[DanielAppleton15]

Just to clarify, when I say I disagree with the part about the Man leading a Woman in a relationship, I’m saying that I don’t think this should be one way.

I don’t expect a Woman to lead me in a relationship but I don’t think a Woman should expect a Man to lead her in a relationship.

I believe the best kind of relationship is one where you both put equal effort into helping each other and lifting each other higher.

To summarise everything in this my take is what I’d call real femininity as well. So in a way this my take is ‘How to be a human being regardless of your gender.’

[myTake Owner]

And how is that femininity? Who doesn’t want to be a human being, regardless of gender? lol

[myTake Owner]

Wait nevermind, what automatically popped into my head was “feminism,” which I am not a feminist. I’m sorry, I took that wrong. But for being feminine, I’ll take that as a compliment.

[DanielAppleton15]

Don’t worry. Basically what I was trying to say that having self respect, self love, showing your emotions and everything else that you’ve said makes a Man a real Man is what makes a Woman a real Woman in my opinion.

[myTake Owner]

Interesting perspective

[MackToday]

"Toxic masculinity" is a made up political phrase it's not meant to describe as much as it is meant to manipulate. You can tell these kinds of phrases and words because they work backwards. Instead of describing a thing to help us perceive it, they attempt to create a perception of a thing.

[Yamahoo]

@JessicaCovi Begone THOT!

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

"Toxic masculinity" is femspeak bullshit, bro. The only use it has is to be mocked.

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 It's worse than that. Women didn't come up with a sick concept like that on their own. That kind of weird shit comes from Marxist professors messing with young women's heads.

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

It is true that Marx and Engels pushed feminism intertwined with Marxism but in reality what is "feminism" ? All "feminism" is is gynocentricity + misandry. "Feminism" is a leftist label but it is not a leftist concept. I believe you will find gynocentricity + misandry exists on both sides of the political spectrum and even in the middle.

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 Actual feminism would just be advocacy for women, what we have is communist pandering to women to get them to do their dirty work.

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

"Actual feminism would just be advocacy for women"

Nope. Feminism is evil: mensrightsboard.blogspot.com/.../...istory-of.html

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 Gynocentrism won't go away because it's part of human instinct. Something as vile as "feminism" could short circuit the mechanism at least for a time I suppose by making men angry at and suspicious of women. Women are pampered simply because the instinct evolved to protect them. Or, more accurately, to protect the bioreactor they carry in their mid section that keeps us from going extinct. Which ever way you look at it , there never was a feminist movement. Susan Anthony hung out with a communist to went to prison for a bombing he committed. What we're seeing with women acting out calling themselves feminists is the same thing as Black Lives Matter calling it's self a black advocacy movement. These people are at their core Marxists, communist revolutionaries who mask themselves as various things to get public support.

[myTake Owner]

@MackToday True. Don't argue with the fool though. His immaturity was too much so I blocked him. He can't comment back.

[MackToday]

MRAs exist as a reaction to what they perceive as "feminists" attacking them. They never go far enough down the rabbit hole to see what's really going on.

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

test

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

She blocked me like the little coward she is. But what can you expect from yads_is_back. MRA's/MGTOW's know more about the rabbit hole than any other group.

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 I see a disconnect in that they seem to blame women and female behavior for feminism. Feminism doesn't come from women it comes from Marxists. Feminists are not taught female advocacy they're taught communist revolution but no one tells them what they're really being taught. The importance of marriage and family for the future of the white race can not be emphasized enough. The way to get rid of bad female behavior is via eugenics, simply eliminate the thot genes and the problem goes away.

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

How about the words "gynocentricity" or "matriarchy"? Yes, feminism does spring from Marxism but how much generic Marxism is in today's definition of "feminism"? Original Marxism had to appeal to men as well. Today's feminism does not welcome men. Today's feminism is more akin to naziism than it is communism. The nazis separated and purged those they didn't like. So do feminists. While the nazis purged the jews feminists purge men.

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 Feminism doesn't really support women, it panders to them. It may back women up against men like us but wait till a Muslim does something, nothing will be done. Look at the rapes in Cologne Germany, nothing , the grooming gangs, millions of British girls sold into prostitution, nothing. Feminism is fake.

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

Ah yes. I remember reading news articles and seeing news videos where the native population of Germany and Sweden were welcoming these invaders with open arms and open legs. I was wondering when this decision by their leaders would go south on them. It was a question of when not if.

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 The supposed feminists said nothing. If it would have been local people doing it the outrage would have lasted for half a century. They'd have had some kind of yearly week of remembrance or some shit, probably statues and a museum set up or something. Rape is cool when done by Abdul.

[joeblow123]

@MackToday

"Rape is cool when done by Abdul."

Or an American female schoolteacher.

[MackToday]

@joeblow123 True unless they decide it's politically advantageous to pander to the parents of children abused by female teachers. Then they'll hand their heads out on a platter. It's all about who can get them power.

[senor_bacon]

As a man, and as an individual living in an age where manhood is ill-defined, somewhat assaulted, and men are struggling to be men, it's no surprise for me to say I often think on what it means to be a man.

One major thing men struggle with today is being emotionally centered and overall balanced, mature human being.

Your take describes just that: an emotionally balanced and mature man.

A man waking up to maturity is just the beginning.

Being a man is more than just being a mature human being.

[joeblow123]

You wrote some things that I agree with. The relationship between the sexes is give and take between the two. When that is disrupted that is when things go downhill. Feminism has been such an interruption.

Responsibility and accountability has to be demanded from both sexes.

[myTake Owner]

True 100%. Also agree with you on the feminist part. I’m not a feminist

[joeblow123]

@Yads_Is_Back

There are tons of feminists on GAG. I know. I've had the displeasure.

[Petra150]

I don't agree at all in many of them very bigots opinion about what s " real" man " is or what make him a real man. When I se a picture showing Dwayne Johnson "the soff ball" I just must made my point, perhaps some men think that it's about being a big strong guy, who can scare of other. Now I and really many women , at least us mature and sensible women , do want men who make us feel good and a guy other want to be socializing with too. He must make us laugh and feel great, he shouldn't try to take away the attention a girl should have, he should have self irony and be able to make a fool of himself while not going beserk about it. He doesn't at all need to be big in anyway only inside. And he must stand up for his woman, not necessarily have to fight alone but give her mental support all the time

[nodnol32]

Very well said.

[humanearth]

I didn't read any of what wrote, just the tittle.( I was too lasy to bother to read it... keeping it real)

What's a mans man, well lets see if I can put it into words

Man that is self-reliant, independent, a protector, wears what he wants and not somekind of follower of fashion, a do it yourselfer kind of man.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks for repeating everything I said, just in simpler terms :) Because apparently me breaking it down only caused confusion among some of the guys. Then again, some people's IQs don't exactly reach 20...

[myTake Owner]

And also thanks for not reading the title and freaking out, because some of the other guys read it and jumped to assumptions and had nothing to do but try to cause problems lol
So thank you

[humanearth]

Hey, when I see a lot of words, i tend not read. I rather wait for the movie to come out

[myTake Owner]

Smart guy!

[joeblow123]

@humanearth

"I rather wait for the movie to come out"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q52cZWTEIz8

[The_boy_who_lived]

So what about biological males who aren't or dont care to fit all of these criteria exactly as you've listed? You say a man doesn't need to be a 5 star celebrity yet thats what all your quotes and examples are. You think real men should be confident in who they are, but then contradict yourself saying they must be dominant and not relinquish that dominance at any point. You say a real man shouldn't cross into the "arrogance side of your chart but a dogmatic approach to dominance implies the exact arrogance and insecurity you dont approve of. Perhaps you dont really understand what it is you want in a man or have conflicting interests. I dont say this to be mean only to make a point of constructive criticism

[myTake Owner]

Well thanks for the respect but they don’t contradict - like you mentioned confidence and dominance contradict but they don’t. Anyways, wanna say thanks for at least respecting it and not being immature about it. Also, great view to consider 👍🏻

[The_boy_who_lived]

I didn't say confidence and domina ce contradict, i said confidence and dogmatism do. If one is confident, and enjoys not playing the dominant role from time to time, what should it matter that a girl on the internet thinks thats unmanly?

Thats confidence. In my opinion this shows a contradiction in your post, but if you disagree its your perogative. All the best👍

[myTake Owner]

Yeah, “from time to time” is different. I’m talking about the relationship in general. And this post has nothing to do with dogmatism. But if that’s how you take it, okay 🤷🏻‍♀️

[supercutebutt]

Presidential quote

[myTake Owner]

Lol 😂

[Unit1]

So raping women isn't so bad compared to going bald? Okie dokie 👌
/sarcasm

[myTake Owner]

@Unit1 You took that way too seriously lol

[MissMovinOn]

@Unit1 Because you already know that if it said The worst thing a man can do is rape a woman the guys would be complaining about that too..

[myTake Owner]

@MissMovinOn They complain about EVERYTHING on here lol

[Unit1]

@MissMovinOn i don't get it 🤷

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I have a full head of long hair so I guess I'm manlier if all you care about is hair.

[supercutebutt]

@Aiko_E_Lara Who are you talking to?

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Your mom obviously she called. And are you not talking to me?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Yada Yada Yada, come on now so if a man chooses not to take women seriously is a real man then, you ladies don't know what you want and start defining a Man so yeah as you said men should not give crap and work there way to Success yeah they should not give a shit about ladies and go on well said👍

[myTake Owner]

None of those things were said in the take or have been said by me.
If you want to avoid the obvious meaning behind the message just to prevent the hard work you'd have to do to be a leader and set that example, then that's your life and not mine.
This is not meant to be an argumentative post for guys who don't want to bother with it. It's like any other post: if you don't want to take it into consideration then keep on moving with your day and bypass it. No GAG posts are meant for the closed-minded anyway. Therefore, there's no point in even discussing it politely with you, since you come across with a closed-minded approach.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Nope just amazed at different view points of different people nothing to argue I said the same as you but what I meant was if a person is also loving and caring for a women doesn't make him less of man every body changes themselves for others that's the way of life doesn't make them less of a man, it's a good take i know there is nothing close minded with me every body is entitled there Opinions..

[myTake Owner]

I guess we have a misunderstanding then, so my apologies. I don't understand your original post because I didn't say any of that. Obviously the man would care about the woman, and that makes him more of a man. I made that clear in the take.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Well i guess that Yada x3 was a trigger then I was just trying to be funny 😅 what I meant was there is a paragraph we're it was mentioned "women have crazy demands and men are giving into it" something like that so my point being everybody has to change a little bit for there loved ones however one has to bow down to wishes of there beloved doesn't make them any less of man, i love healthy discussions nothing wrong it you always get to learn something but i dislike people who simply runoff and block so you are open minded as well appreciate that 👍

[Aakash_Hangargi]

No apologies required by the way I am not that great of person 😂😂

[myTake Owner]

Ohhhh I see what you mean now. In that paragraph I was referring to the literally crazy things they are demanding now, like the stuff you see about toxic masculinity and stuff like that. Yeah, I see your point now :D thanks for sharing!

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Not a problem glad we could resolve the misunderstanding thank you for not blocking me😂😂and hear me out😉

[Anonymous]

I like this. The best part to me wasn't even the essay, though.. because it was kind of long, no offense.. but the best part to me was reading the guys opinions. It's just interesting to me that all of the ones who refused to give it a thought are anonymous except two. and also that they never contradicted what's in the take. They just tried to go around it or make it look as if it contradicts itself because they couldn't do it.

Interesting take though!

[myTake Owner]

I know. And if you watch closely to which guys delete opinions and things like that, it can be entertaining. No offense to the guys or to anybody, but them always complaining about how they can't get women and then acting so big when it doesn't hold up is kinda hilarious LOL

[WhistleForTheChoir]

I understand you have good intentions here, and I appreciate the detail you put into this, but at the end of the day you're one more in a long line of women trying to tell men what it's like being a man, and your definition is somewhere between hero and villain. Something other than human.

And, I don't mean any disrespect, but you just have no idea. How could you? I have no idea what it's like to be a woman either, I wouldn't tell you what a "real woman" is, or I might come off as a little misogynistic. Intellectually, I think you're on to the right idea: that men can be whoever they want, but then you put goal-posts and gateways up without realizing it.

[myTake Owner]

So what's your definition of a "good man"?

[myTake Owner]

I mean a "real man." Sorry, was typing something else too

[WhistleForTheChoir]

So "good man" and "real man" are different in your opinion? That's interesting.

In my definition, a "real man", is a person with a penis, I guess. A "good man" is a much more philosophical question that it would take much longer to answer.

Did you know that there is a lot of evidence that implies that men feel certain emotions much more strongly and intensely than women do? They even fall in love faster, and fall out of love slower. Now, it's just one part of your essay up there, but you say that men don't have the same emotions as women, and maybe that seems obvious to you. But eighty years ago, it seemed "obvious" to a lot of people that women just didn't have the same intellect as men. We found out that wasn't true. I find that interesting.

[myTake Owner]

No, I don't see them as different, but I changed it to avoid conflict because honestly when people want to cause trouble either way is arguable (not saying you're the one causing trouble).
Therefore, I can see why you posted the biological definition but it wasn't needed. I'm asking for the rest of what you said.
So I guess I misworded it in a way. By "they don't have the same," I mean that it's expressed in different levels in different ways. Of course it's the same KIND because we are all the same species. But you can't say the degrees and all the variables are the same. Men's hormones and women's hormones DO differ in certain ways (one of them being quantity per volume in the body), and this causes a difference.

[myTake Owner]

Also, I'm saying that if you live your life the way YOU want to live it, NOT BY WOMEN'S STANDARDS, then you end up being the real man we want because you're living for yourself and not to please everybody else. So it's kind-of indirect, and apparently you are not the only guy on this who took it the wrong way, but it's really not that complicated. It's simple: we appreciate a guy who lives for himself and not to please others.

[akihon]

Oh yes just what all men needed

Another woman telling men how to be men and to boot, using the argument about masculinity being toxic and how to not be a toxic man by using images of men who themselves have been the very thing the woman is posting about.

Oh the irony.

Ok so now can I write a take telling women how to be women and how to not be toxic.

[akihon]

Well good for you, I don't.

[myTake Owner]

Go ahead. Actually it would be a good thing if you do

[myTake Owner]

Also, what's your definition of a "real man"? Considering personality and etc. ... meaning not just the biological definition of the word.

[akihon]

I don't try to define what a man is but if your going to have a go at it then by all means do so, just accept then that men have the same right to define what makes a woman.

Are you really ready to play that game.

[myTake Owner]

Yep. And I get that not everyone defines it the same way. I'll say this: this take isn't meant to tell you how to please women. It's about how to be a man by having your own standards and not going around trying to please everybody. (I specify that because apparently quite a few guys on here have had that misunderstanding. I think they probably read the title and freaked out lol, but most of the guys got the message as you can see if you read the comments. :) )
And I leave it at that because a lot of other guys have misunderstood it and I refuse to argue with anybody over this, so I'm not getting into deep discussions on this unless the guy has an inquisitive attitude and not a closed-minded one.
P. S. If you are up for doing a MyTake on women in the reverse same way from a guy's point of view, I encourage you! I'd like to see it.

[akihon]

I have no interest in how to please a woman and why would I.

As for what your saying in this response I agree, but then having my own standards as you've put it and not trying to please everybody means that not giving two shits about women is perfectly in line with your post. In fact it can then be argued that going out of my way to make sure that I'm safe and secure and happily ignoring any suffering that any woman might face is also perfectly ok as long as it's not something that bothers me.

Oh the irony of it all, that in your post to say be a man by being the way you want perfectly justifies any and all shitty behaviour by men who refuse to adhere to any standards and therefore naturally impacts on women far more.

I can respect that if that is of course your true feelings.

[myTake Owner]

It doesn't mean treat women - or anybody - with disrespect. It means don't let them determine how you live your life and don't live just to please them, but be respectful. As in, don't make women your ultimate priority, but for instance when you have a girlfriend treat her with respect. It's not complicated. That's like, if I want to live my life as a good person, I can live in a way that I make my own self happy and live a good life without anyone else's interference in that, of either gender. I'm happy within my own self, and that's what makes others want to respect me. Does that mean I'm going to show any form of disrespect to men - or even take it as far as to avoid them? No. But I'm also not going to let them dictate my happiness nor my standards.
Again, it's not complicated. You can read and see where most of the other guys understood the concept - even contrasted it to the usual posts by women that you're talking about (not just on GAG but everywhere), but if you don't want to see the difference then that's on you. Again, it's your life and not mine. And everyone faces consequences for their choices - whether it be that you're successful and naturally everything falls into place and women like that or whether it becomes that you don't care and it's always complaints like so many other guys on this site do. The male user I quoted made an excellent point.
Either way, I'm not concerned about how you take this. The message is there, but everybody has a right to see it through different lenses - even if they choose to fog the lenses up before they put them on. And again, I'm not going to argue this. The point is there and others have seen it; whether you see it or not is your decision. So I'm just leaving it at this. Goodnight

[Anonymous]

Its funny this idea of toxic masculinity. As i only suffered in my life when guys acted like bitches and not like real men. When my dad started treating a young woman like a queen pampering her and leaving my family and my mom suffering. I only suffered in my life when men acted too much feely and became bitches for women. Who aren’t even good women but unlicensed hookers.

[myTake Owner]

I hate toxic masculinity altogether. That's why I included that user's statement.

[joeblow123]

@Yads_Is_Back

Toxic femininity is just as bad.