1. Empty your mind
When we are disturbed by external stresses and our internal conflicts, we can no longer see ourselves clearly. Refocusing is the only way to neutralize all these parasites. Here's an exercise to find out your true desire:
- Sit with your back straight, and become aware of the different parts of your body where you feel tension. Relax, but do not relax completely, to remain receptive and aware.
- Identify, among the following four areas --face, neck/shoulders/arms, thorax/abdomen or pelvis/legs -- the area where you think the "negativity" is concentrated. Then, look for the sensation that dominates when you think about the choice you want to make: persistent tension, blockage, oppression, fear ... Concentrate on the area in question, become aware of your breathing and associate with each exhalation a rejection of this "negativity". Continue until you completely expulse it.
- Now reverse the process by breathing while thinking of “positivity” (feeling of warmth, softness or light, pleasant smell or taste…) in the area you have just “cleaned”. The exercise is over once the feeling of well-being and comfort prevails. Freed from parasites, you are now on your own.
2. Identify your desire
Take a piece of paper and a pen. Give a title and a date of completion to your project ("Moving to New York to get a job, by myself, in 2021").
Go forward in time, and give the most detailed and concrete description of your project, as if you had already accomplished it and you were telling a third party about it. During the writing, pay attention to what you feel, and note all your emotions ("I do not feel stressed anymore", "I really live my life" or, on the contrary, "I feel stuck", "I regret moving to such a busy city ”, etc.).
At this point, you begin to pinpoint what you really want.
3. Listen to your intuition
Intuition is an intelligence in its own right, it's linked to our inner world, therefore to our own desire. It gives us information, ideas, which we must be able to capture in order to advance in our reflection.
Spot the manifestations of your intuitive intelligence. For example, you just met someone. It can be an inner dialogue that starts, a little voice that tells you: "Are you sure you want to see them again? How about you call them?" It can be a physical sensation: when you're with this person, your body tenses up or, on the contrary, relaxes. By letting these feelings develop; other information will come later. It can also be a visual, auditory or intellectual "flash" that suddenly imposes the obvious: "They are the person I was looking for", or "I have to run away from this relationship". Pick up the signs around you to validate your intuitive choice.
4. Connect with others
It is rare that a decision only involves you. The goal is therefore to go towards the realization of your desire without denying the needs of your loved ones. Before telling others about your choice, such as changing jobs or moving to another city, list all the arguments that justify it. Thus, a hierarchy will be established between your central need (to have a more creative job) and your peripheral needs (to have more friendly colleagues ...). If the former is non-negotiable, the latter may be subject to accommodation. This distinction will also allow you not to get lost in unnecessary conflicts.
Present your decision to the other (partner, boss, family ...), formulating your central need: "I decided to change my job. Then invite them to the dialogue ("What do you think about it?"). Note each point that is agreed upon , as well as the outstanding questions. If the other person shuts down, give them time to think, and resume the discussion later. The goal is to reach a consensus (agreement respecting both desires) and not a compromise (agreement undermining the desire of one for the benefit of the other).
In order to take action, it is necessary to free yourself as much as possible from your fears, inhibitions and doubts. You need to positively align your aspiration with a concrete plan of action:
- Stand up, relax, and focus on what to do: go to a job interview because you want to change jobs.
- Visualize yourself acting ("you're convincing your future employer of your skills") considering that the dialogue is going on in the best possible conditions (you are brilliant, he is amazed). Watch the scene as if you were watching a movie.
- Enter the scene, feel your success. Locate the area of your body where this well-being is concentrated, and give it a color (purple in your abdomen, for example). Feel it radiate within you.
- Remember a situation that gave you the same feeling of well-being (a family vacation at the beach ...). Relive that memory.
- Mix the two scenes (you and your employer chatting with your family at the beach). Live this "ideal" situation until well-being permeates you fully.
You’ll be ready to act when impatience prevails over apprehension. During your interview, remember the color and relive your “ideal scene”.