Search Results: finding the one

First and foremost let me just say, yes I am aware that the N-word is a slur, racially against African-Americans to be specific. But in much of the same way that cookie, monkey, ape, or the abbreviated version of raccoon is, and even Uncle Tom (fun fact: my half-Asian, half-Caucasian therapist's uncle is named Tom).

Today I went to a restaurant, and I will not mention which one because of privacy reasons, but this guy looked at me disturbed while I was greeting him with a simple "hi." I thought that he and a female coworker were being very rude for not greeting me back. I yelled, convincing him to say "hi" back. He was basically tone-policing me and I did not like that the two workers had poor manners.

Mind you I was raised in a semi-strict, bordering on conservative Christian household where manners were very much a big deal. The hi/hello/hey, please, thank you, and occasionally the sir/ma'am (my parents didn't require me to refer to them or their relatives as such).

Anyway, back on topic, I questioned their poor manners and went full on political (like I usually do in my emotional outbursts). This time instead of being anti-Trump I went full pro-Trump and even pro-DeSantis, but in my heart I was really mocking the fundamentalist part of the Trump and DeSantis fanbases for their lack of manners and for wanting to get rid of critical race theory.

I feel like these workers were very racist towards me. So I wanted to give a full shot by testing to see if they really were. I am not fully White, only about two-thirds (though I mark myself as such in applications). My paternal grandfather is mixed with Middle Eastern and Black. My Blackness veils in me, but I don't let it be the main factor of me. I never even considered myself Black before finding out my ancestors.

The way that I used the N-word, however, was not racist even with the hard 'r'. It was meant to be synonymous with "ignorant". The employee chased after me with a pocket knife and I ran away very quick.