Search Results: he likes video games more than me

So I can't help it, but I end up comparing myself with and competing with everyone I know... from friends, to family members, to co-workers, etc... and my girlfriend is no exception.

Me- I'm a very introverted person and rarely speak unless spoken to... and at first glance I don't seem like I have any defining traits. But if you can actually get me talking, then I become what people call "fun." I'm very down to earth and honest, and don't sugarcoat anything I say... and my opinion on things, I always say the truth, even if it's a really unpopular opinion. But even then, I never become super crazy or funny or outgoing or whatever. On my free time I usually watch shows/movies, read, play video games, write, and draw.

My girlfriend- Contrary to myself, she's actually really outgoing and pretty good at starting up conversations with people. She's also quite bubbly and cheerful, but also is very aware of when to take things more seriously. She's touchy feely, but won't give people hugs if she knows it makes them uncomfortable. She can also be quite funny at times, but not 24/7. She's very sympathetic, and is good at connecting with people. As for her free time, she also watches shows/movies, but she's a lot more athletic than me and loves to do things like play soccer, volleyball, basketball, track & field/cross-country, and swimming. She's fit and healthy with a flat-stomach, and pretty strong, but not super duper muscular or anything. She rarely wears make-up unless she falls and gets a bruise, but she does like to dress cute if the occasion calls for it.

Overall, I'd say if you like someone a little quieter who speaks their mind, you'd like me better. But if you like someone really affectionate who understands your feelings and who's really outgoing, you'd like my girlfriend better.

So whenever I lose at anything... whether it be a video game, a game of soccer, a drawing contest, a cooking contest, a running contest, etc... on the inside in my head, I just go completely nuts. I get so sad, angry, and depressed all in one, like you would not believe.

Luckily, I don't show it on the outside much... except for video games, on there I write derogatory things to the opponent, since it's online. But not when the person is actually there with me in the same room.

This is most prominent in video games, since there I play against 100+ users daily... but just whenever I lose in general, I go nuts on the inside. If it matters, this is more frequent in Super Smash Bros, since that's the game I play most.

But that's not the worst part about me... the worst part is the reason WHY I get so upset when I lose.

The reason I've been able to pinpoint is that I'm a madman who only wants power, a superior rank, and to be perfect. And whenever I lose... it shows I'm not as skilled, or powerful, or as perfect as I wish to be.

And I don't actually care for the people around me, which is why I'm so bitter on the inside when losing. I don't play to have fun with them. I play so I can show I'm the best. To show I'm perfect. To show I'm a winner. And whenever I lose... it just crushes what I hoped to acheive. And if I was physically strong enough, and the police didn't care, I would honesly punch whoever beat me to death.

Now the reason why I'm like this is because growing up I was always insecure and ranked below my peers in every way... I was meek, I was weak (both physically and mentally), I was really shy, I was too nice and afraid of saying no, people always took advantage of me, etc. And I also ranked below them... I always lost, I didn't have as much cool clothes or cool technology, etc.

And as a result, somewhere in my early teen years, like 13-16, I just got sick of it, and just wanted power and perfection more than anything.