Search Results: losing a first love

Hey guys so I can't get my head around this,

So two days ago my boyfriend came to my house and he sat down and told me he wanted to break up because he just feels like he doesn't love me as much as he should and that I should be enough but I am not.
Now I am not going to pretend I acted mature about it because honestly I turned to shit and sobbed for a good half an hour in his chest and have spent the last two days a wreck.

Here is the issue. He became very clingy and loving the days before the break up. Before he broke up with my he was cuddling me and hugging me like he never has before. Then the most important part he was completely sobbing heartbroken.
I know losing someone is hard and will make you sad but I have seen him cry only once and that was over the death of a family member and they were silent tears.

When he realised his dad was there to pick him up he clung to me and told me he will miss me and I need to message him all the time and I have to be his friend. (Despite me telling him he will not want to be friends and it will be too difficult for both of us to do that)

I am confused those mixed messages meant the next morning he was sobbing down the phone again saying how I am his best friend and he can't stop doubting his decision and he missed me the moment he walked out the door and he couldn't bare to update his social media or hurt me anymore.
I suggest a break instead of a break up and he didn't like that idea either.

In the end we decided to leave the situation in a kind of no mans land, but I focused this time on him and said he needs to sort the doubt out in his mind so that this doesn't cause him any future pain. He told me to message him as much as I want but I told him he has to message me first as this is his time apart. Yet nothing since yesterday.

I am hurting, what I want advice on is, is this normal behaviour? I know not to get my hopes up but do you think he does actually love me and maybe just hit a bad place emotionally?

Thanks

I am very much in love with my boyfriend. Kind of obsessed. I think about him all the time and he comes first in my life. I put him above the things I need to be doing. I have cried because I'm scared about losing him sometimes. I feel like I'll never find another guy like him. We have a similar mindset and we agree and have the same opinions/feelings about topics and stuff. We are in an online relationship. I have also cried cause I love him so much and have cried when he told me sweet things. I sometimes feel as if I love him too much more than he loves me. I wish we were together in person and we met in person instead of online. I sometimes crave getting hugs from him or just hanging out with him in general. I get jealous knowing there are people who get to see him everyday and that could easily hang out with him. We never met but I want to meet him so bad and I've never felt this way with anyone else. I usually am the type to push people away and he's the first guy and person in general I ever let this close to my heart. He's a good person and he listens to me, understands me, and doesn't judge me though I am weird and kind of delayed compared to most people my age. He makes me feel like I'm at home. I feel more comfortable talking to him than with my own family. I see him as part of my family cause he's so close to my heart that I can't see anyone else but him. I feel like I'd be devastated if he ever left or if something happened between us. I really love him. But sometimes I wonder if he feels the same way. Have you ever felt this way for someone? Have you ever cried cause you loved them this much or felt afraid to lose them to someone or just in general? How do you stop loving someone so much? It;s kind of scaring me. I want him forever.