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I have not really gotten off the ground running on just about everything in life. It is really hurting my self-esteem and has left me feeling ignored, irrelevant, bored, and feeling like I am losing my ever fucking mind.

I will provide a few examples:

One, I have been trying to sell my independent web services. I am a talented web developer. I acknowledge AI is making it easier to create web apps and websites, but not everyone has fully adopted it yet for these purposes. I had a few clients and created websites for them last year. I received mostly positive feedback, and I offered my services for a steal. I was supposed to work on one more website for another small business, and it has been over 6 months and I haven't heard a thing from them. That is now $1,500 I will not be getting. They are a landscaping supply company, so this time of year would be ideal. Meanwhile, I launched a website trying to gain clients. No calls, no web form submissions, nothing. I advertise, sometimes cold call, reach out to other recruiters and company owners... nothing. One of my clients from last year that I was told needed updates, they have yet to provide me with anything. Potential and existing clients are pulling back.

Then, I am spending a lot of my time now trying to advocate and raise awareness about our crumbling public safety infrastructure in my state, as it has become very problematic. I have spoken with news organizations, and they now either lie saying they will "get to it" or I am ignored and sidelined.

I feel like I am not taken seriously now, and that I have become irrelevant.

👀 Hmm, I for one recall even the live news stories around 2005 and somewhat 2004. I remember hearing about his throat surgery thing and his inability to give an address. News footage. As in I remember watching his final years via the courtesy of the tube television back before flat screens, before YouTube. Just before those inventions..
How's about this Christmas 2004 footage? He smiles, otherwise looking a little glum before hand, probably tired and in pain for a man of advancing 80s back then even. He smiles, not my footage in the final footage seconds. Apparently filmed by a parishioner and of course he died by April 2005 months later 👀 📸 . tough jobs, being elderly heads of state. .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjOHAoXqtU4