Is it normal to feel scared starting life on my own after a breakup?

[Finchie40]

Even though my ex and I have been apart for quite sometime , I am still living in the house that we bought together and now I am selling this house very soon and trying to figure out where I want to go. I figured I’d move into an apartment or condo or townhouse , I don’t need anything fancy just cozy. I haven’t really been on my own for a long ass time and I feel nervous and scared to do so , my brother offered me to move in with him in Upstate NY but I don’t want to far from my adult kids’ so I plan on staying in the same area once the house sells , which more than likely will sell fast because it’s a nice home and property that my realtor said a lot of people inquire about. I should walk away with a nice chunk of money enough for me to settle down somewhere else , I am also ok with leaving my job because it isn’t what I really want to do. So is it normal that I feel nervous and scared starting this new chapter in my life

[sage2021]

I've lived alone starting at age I was 17 and got my own apartment.

I was married twice. Once in 1975-1978.

Alone for 10 years.

Moved across the United States to East Tennessee and got married for the 2nd time. Lasted 4 years.

Alone again and moved out of our house to a cozy little house and lived there 7 years.

Left there and moved to Washington State 5 months. Couldn't find a job.

Moved back to California and got another apartment. 11 months there.

Had to move again because my son came to live with me and I needed a two bedroom.

Did that - stayed there 15-1/2 years.

Moved again in 2016 into my own apartment and have been living here for 10 years now. Patrick lived with me for 18 months until he died. I'm still at the same apartment building but in a different apartment.

So I have started my life over and over again and lived alone for most of my life.

I'm living alone now and digging it!

I've never been afraid of moving around and starting over.

If I can do it then so can you.

Just start ordering stuff from Amazon and start decorating and make it look like home.

[Finchie40]

Thanks @sage2021 , you definitely moved and on your own a lot , me personally has never been on my own officially, I met my ex when I was still living with my parents and her and I moved in together and started a family , so I been with her for a long ass time , now I don’t even know who she is anymore, she completely changed on me once our kids’ got older and now I see her true colors shine and it’s sadly pathetic like she thinks she is this young teenager that wants to be free and do whatever she wants , so I have no choice but to start over on my own 2 feet and start a new chapter in my life , So I am a little scared and nervous to do so , my son is more than likely moving with me but I told him he is going to have to help with expenses because he is an adult now and he needs to learn responsibility, he said he doesn’t want to live with his mom so he is fine with helping me pay the bills , I won’t charge him a ton but I want to teach him responsibilities. My ex is staying with her brother but getting her own place once the house sells as well , so she says , I think she has something else up her sleeve that she isn’t telling me because of how this all went down between us , she kind of blind sided me

[sage2021]

Sounds like you already have a good plan going for you.
I wish you the best and please keep us updated as you go along.🙂

[Anonymous]

I totally get it

When you were there and you ex wife was there, even though you're not talking she is still a presence in your day

I remember when I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years 30 years ago now, when we stopped talking, ceased communication that's when I had minor breakdown. Today I think about that when I consider leaving my wife because that was tough time and because my parents were slightly involved I couldn't look to them for support.

So I felt completely alone

Your kids will be support for you though

[NathanDavis]

uncertainty can be unnerving, yes...

but it will pass, you're still going to make it

[Sal_Monella]

You should look forward to it. You are free of any encumbrances. Find your separate peace. Do not look for solace from another female.

[robocop666]

well you have been there a long time.

[Agape93]

Yeao absolutely