Feeling weird one year after breakup, I’m with someone else is this normal?

[confusedtea]

I broke up with my ex around this time last summer. Few days before first July last year he was acting off and I had been crying for 3 days and not eating and I definitely thought something was off. He said he wanted a break and later when he ghosted me I broke up and I found out he cheated on me. I was in pain but I got past it. We didn’t fight so much and when we did (1-2 times) he would get defensive and stuff and he never slept over or anything. Would come, fuck me and go. If we went out to eat he would pay but that’s it. Not much attention but on text he was fairly sweet. He was good in the dating stage and first month or two of dating. (Dated March April, official April broke up mid July)

later I met my now boyfriend in Jan this year. (Met in Jan, got official end of Jan and now were 6 months in) We fight a lot but it’s due to misunderstandings and mistakes that I make or him struggling to understand due to big expectations and his past traumas. But he has been there for me more than my ex ever could’ve been. Supports me through my adhd and anxiety diagnosis, understands me and researched my problems, is there during my anxiety attacks and tho we fight every month we try our best to work them out. It’s a more dramatic relationship and I’m financially supporting it but this man treats me better than my ex.

off late my anxiety and overthinking goes crazy and I kept looking at last years timelines cause my boyfriend and I fought around the same time this year and we nearly broke up and decided to give it a chance. I noticed my boyfriend loves me but says it less compared to my ex and I remember how innocent I was last year and now I’m like hyper vigilant tho I’m happy and I’m so confused is it normal to feel anxious and off after last year

i got into a new relationship because I was ready.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah I think feeling a bit weird or anxious around the anniversary of a breakup is pretty normal. Even though you're in a new relationship now, it makes sense that your brain might start comparing things to last year or getting caught up in memories and emotions from back then. Breakups can be really hard and impactful, so it's natural for those feelings to still be a bit close to the surface around this time.

It sounds like overall you're much happier with your new boyfriend though. Even if things aren't always perfect, it's good that he supports you and is willing to work on understanding you better. Try not to overanalyze the little differences from your ex - it seems like he treats you way better overall.

My advice would just be to ride it out - these anniversaries can stir things up in our minds and hearts temporarily but it'll pass. Remember why you're with this new guy now and focus on enjoying your relationship. Don't let the past drag you down if you've moved forward. You got this!

[SweetJoyGirl]

So, you are scared your current boyfriend will break up you like your ex?

[confusedtea]

Maybe sorta. My boyfriend is travelling to see family for 3 weeks halfway across the world and I’m not convinced that we will be okay either. I’m in overthinking zone constantly thinking he is losing interest etc

[SweetJoyGirl]

I mean, you guys could talk on the phone.

[confusedtea]

That’s the thing, his parents are conservative and don’t know about me yet, he is also going to a place where there is no wifi and he will need to purchase a data plan. We do intend to keep in touch everyday and call whenever we can, but I’m still a bit iffy scared.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Oof
Well, girl, tbh…if I was in your situation, I would be overthinking, too. Just ride it out and see how things go. Maybe it won’t be so bad.