Is it normal to feel this way after a short term break up?

[silvermoon84]

We met on Facebook dating, went out three times, talked and texted back and fourth consistently and sent each other cute and sweet texts every day from 7/12 until last Saturday. We enjoyed the dates, enjoyed spending time together, the connection was there, the attraction level was INSANE (no we didn’t sleep together, but we did make out and it was getting too that level, which never happens for me), we lived about 35-40 minutes away from each other but we would take turns driving to each other for dates, then last Saturday, I made a terrible mistake and texted him too much while he was at work (which I realize that I should have done, but he texted me A LOT when I was at work so I was doing the same thing he did, and I guess last Saturday I was feeling a little lonely and anxious). The next morning instead of the sweet “good morning beautiful” text that I always got from him, I got a text “hey, I need time for myself. Please don’t text me anymore, when I’m ready to talk, I’ll call/text you. Take care 😘” which was cryptic for me. I thought it was a brush off, but then the 😘 emoji confused me, so I asked him “hey, no problem but this message has me unsettled. Is this temporary or should I be out looking for another man?” And then he told me to move on and if it’s meant to be we’ll meet again. So I asked him what I did, he said it was excessive texting (which I had a feeling from last Saturday but he texted me just as much as I texted him). So I told him “that’s fine, I get it but how come you didn’t communicate that to me. If I had known that my texting was a problem I would have texted you less and left you alone more”. Then he was like “that’s not on me, it’s just common sense not to text when someone’s busy so you should have known and left me alone” then we got into a big fight with me saying “you’re right, we shouldn’t be in each other’s lives. Bye”. I’m doing NC right now. Is it normal to feel this hurt after only a month?

Updates

8 mo

Is it normal also to still want to work through it even though he doesn’t want to? We both said some very hurtful things to each other and I wish I could take back what I said. The break up was civil until I asked why he didn’t just talk to me. I’m sorry this is long, talking about it is helping me deal with all the pain and hurt.

[rosemilk]

honestly, i don't think either of you are wrong. maybe reacted a bit differently. but you both are not compatible together because of your communication styles. no big deal! just be more upfront with your communication style in the next relationship. really put it out there when getting to know someone. ask them about how often they like to talk/text/etc. if they like phone calls. just stuff like that. should save a lot of guessing/worrying

as for how you feel after that, maybe before going NC, apologize, get the closure that you need, wish him well, and then you can move on

[silvermoon84]

I already did that and apologized. That’s what I’m shocked about though, because up until that point the communication was fine then all
of a sudden he decides he has a problem with it, so I don't know.

[bobalife]

I didn't read the paragraph because the answer is it does not matter how long it was, but the quality and connection of the relationship that was built. It meant something meaningful to you, so it is normal and okay to feel hurt and still want to rekindle it. Though it is an unpopular opinion, I do believe if someone wants to go back and make the relationship work after learning what can you both do better... then, it's more than okay! I know people who broken up, got back together, and now happily married. Though I do think those are not very common situations.

[Truthatanycost]

I'd say that your comment 'Is this temporary or should I be out looking for another man?' was what made him go from 'I need temporary space' to 'Never contact me again'. Your comment was passive aggressive and his ones were a sign of emotionally unavailability and other issues to do with abandonment and lack of proper communication. Both of you are better off moving on.

[eagle1951]

yeah i'd say so i've been there