Search Results: communication in a relationship

So I told my mom about my Long Distance Relationship. Because I love my family and I would like their support and blessings.

My mom was concerned about the distance. But is more concerned and upset about my relationship with my boyfriend. Communication wise.

I post questions on here looking for advice and suggestions about the situation in my relationship. I also open up to my mom, hoping she can help me too.

But right now, she does not like seeing me become more insecure and anxious of me trying to please my boyfriend. She sees this as a huge red flag 🚩.

-she doesn’t like that he hasn’t told his parents about me
-she’s upset with his busy schedule and gives me very little attention
-she thinks he’s breadcrumbing me and is using me to boost his ego
-she also doesn’t like that I keep making excuses and justifications for his behavior

Now before you vote, I would like to clarify that in the past I have tried to break up with my boyfriend. Because of our communication, my insecurities, depression and anxiety. But he doesn’t want to leave and still wants to be by my side.

I have asked for help and advice from strangers online. Including my family. That with my boyfriend (hardly) being around. Is not helping me. I get ignored, judged, lectured, to the point it leads to confusion and arguments.

I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend because of my emotions. But he’s hardly around and always busy. That it does make me insecure.

…………..

I keep making excuses and justifying his actions of him being there for me.

-“oh he listens to me.”
-“he compliments me.”
-“he’s trying to help me with math”

😞
(it does hurt when you tell a sad person they’re not ready for a relationship)

Okay…..

so there were incidents with my boyfriend, that made me question about our relationship. Communication wise.

whenever I discuss with him about something, he makes jokes about it.

Example: I was telling him a story about me going to a Mormon church meeting. That he asked “are those the people who wear white gowns and burn black people on the cross?” I responded with “what?, no. That’s the ‘ku klux klan’.” Then he made a joke comment, “really? I thought you had a membership 😄” 🤨…. so I was kinda uncomfortable about that comment. Then he kept going on saying “you should join, cause you already look white lol.”

Then I changed the subject and was talking about my family. How my mom punishes my sisters and I, whenever our partners are unhappy. Like it’s our fault. Then my boyfriend made another comment saying “haha, so your mom would like me better than you.”

I mean I was kinda stunned about this conversation and what he said. That I let him go and hung up the phone. Now I’m here questioning and wondering how our relationship will be in the future. “Will he be supportive of me and be on my side and protect me? Or will he make fun of me in sensitive matters?”