I have a smartphone (soon to be replaced with a S21 5G.) I use WhatsApp and Skype. I send text messages almost every day. So, I'm not really a total dinosaur!
But I don't send many text messages to my girlfriend. That's because I do a much better job of communicating with her: when we need to talk about something, I call her and we actually talk - voice-to-voice - in real time, and in just a few minutes, I accomplish more than most people accomplish with 20-30 minutes of texting.
I just don't get the obsession with texting. How many misunderstandings have you had with someone because of a DM that was misunderstood? Naybe autocorrect did one of those infamous changes and you didn't notice it. Maybe you said something, intending it as a joke, but they didn't realize it was a joke and thought you were being serious about something. You couldn't hear the tone of voice, the pause in their words, the intonantion, and all of the other cues that are imbedded in voice communications and lost in DMs.
If this person you are teting is your boyfriend or girlfriend, why don't you want to hear their voice? Why don't you want to call for a few minutes and have a break from what may otherwise be a dreary day? Why is it so awful to call them? Wouldn't you like to receive a call from your honey? Or are you so socially awkward that you can't handle it?
From my perspective, DMs are great for "pls stop and get a gal of milk on your way home" or "call me when you get out of your meeting." But sending a DM to ask "why don't you want to go out of town with me this weekend?" is the cowards way out of having a real discussion about the topic. And that discussion, regardless of the outcome, is one of many life events that help to build emotional closeness for a couple.
Calling to ask for a date, knowing that you might get rejected and feel awkward, takes courage but doing it builds confidence. I got rejected many times when I was a teen but it didn't kill me . . . and I worked beyond my lack of confidence.
Hearing excuses like "OAW, I'd LOVE to go out with you Friday night but that's the night I wash my hair!" made me realize that rejection didn't mean that I had done something wrong or there was something constitutionally wrong with me; it might just be that there is something wrong with the girl. Or maybe we're just not a good match and she doesn't have enough character to be honest in her response. Those experiences taught me very much about dating and relationships. And I got over my fear of rejection.
I have even heard of someone texting to confess that they had cheated!
When I break up with a girl who I have dated more than twice, I do it in person. Yes, it would be quicker and easier to do it in a DM.
I'll admit that breaking up in person is never as funny as this text, but it always felt like I was doing the right thing.
You insist on doing everything via text, so you decided that you liked someone because of their texts, and then he asked you for a date via text:
You went on a date but you don't remember what happened because you spent most of the time texting your friends.
Then he broke up with you via text, and now your biggest question is
WHY DIDN'T WE EVER ESTABLISH AN EMOTIONAL BOND?
the whole time that you were "together" (physically present in the same space at the same time,) you judged the quality of the relationship by how quickly he responded to your texts.
So the question is . . . when you ask why he doesn't respond to your texts immediately, are you asking the right question?