Search Results: how to stop crying

My brother used to live within a 2 day drive which allowed me and the family to visit him and my nephews at least 2x a year. Then he moved clear across the country near ZERO family, so the only way I can see them, is if I fork over a ton of money and fly. I am on a life goals plan that requires a lot of saving and sacrifice, especially after my business took a deep hit during the brunt of Covid. As a result of that, its been non stop work all hours of the day and night because with the online business, it never sleeps.

Like most people in this situation burning the candle at both ends, I need a vacation, but my brother has been asking me to come visit them and laying on the guilt trip. Aside from the money issue, because they have had no babysitters or family coming regularly because of the distance, whenever I have come, I have become defacto babysitter every single time. I don't want to spend what may be my one vacation having to look after 2 young screaming crying kids. Love them, but young kids are exhausting, and I need a true vacation for my sanity and they consider me visiting them, free babysitting because they don't get time off either without the kids. Am I being selfish for not wanting to go?