I told my ex how badly my previous boyfriends treated me. He then continued to treat me poorly, now I'm afraid of dating altogether? What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Before I started dating my ex, I clearly told him that I was a sensitive person, and my last relationships had been very bad. I told him I needed to go slowly, and I often shake & get scared. He seemed to be receptive at first, and the relationship was really good for first month, but then he completely ignored it for next 6 months and continued to be an oblivious boyfriend. He ended up completely breaking my heart, ignoring me a lot, humiliating me, and making me cry. He went on to date someone else immediately and I cry almost every day.

How can I stop being so sensitive? How could I open up to him so much and have him ignore? It really took a lot for me to open up, and I trusted him. I am so scared of dating now. Maybe I need to be more explicit when I meet someone about my needs, or just date people who are really sensitive too. I cannot believe he's with someone else.

Any advice? I feel so bad right now. I'm in therapy too, by the way.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Here’s the issue with that;
You basically told him how bad you let people treat you, and he took advantage of that.


I went through the same thing. I had to learn that the hard way.
It’s good to be open and honest about past relationships, but you also need to to higher your standards of how you want and will be treated by people. You need to set boundaries. When someone starts treating you poorly, you immediately drop them. You don’t wait around to see if they will change.
You aren’t sensitive, but you aren’t being strong enough. I understand opening your heart and trusting people, and then having them treat you like garbage. But, there’s always someone out there who understands your needs and will actually treat you better.
You don’t have to be afraid of dating. You just need to be the one to cut all ties if something the person does raises a red flag or repeats what your exes did.

[LikeALog]

Some guys may try to treat you as you want, but don't expect everyone to understand your needs and to change their personality and frame of reference. When you see their attitude towards you changing, considered it a red flag and move on. Don't dwell on it and have doubts about yourself. It happens to all of us, we aren't a match so we go our separate ways.


Consider dating as a time period to learn about the other person. See how they react to situations, how they treat people, what irritates them. Don't necessarily take it personal, it's not just you, it's how they are with everyone.

[abc3643]

Learn to pick better guys.

[In_Trance]

stop communicating with your ex