Guys, if you did this with one of your ex girlfriends, what would your intentions be?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex split up because he couldn't handle how jealous I was, after we split up I took the break-up really badly. I was beyond upset, couldn't sleep or eat. He was my first boyfriend so I had no previous experience of how to act, I constantly spoke to him still and never ever left him alone. He hooked up with another girl a week after we split up, but still told me he loved me and missed me, and he said we could probably get back together in a few months time. But he kept seeing this other girl, and me and her ended up being enemies. She'd rub it in my face about how she "stole my boyfriend", would call me ugly, say that she was an upgrade from me, get her friends to take the p*ss out of me etc. In the end, 6 months after we split up, my ex fully cut contact with me and stayed with the other girl. He blocked me off his Facebook, he moved far away because he was going to university so I never saw him in person either, and he stopped texting me back. The last thing he said to me was "don't contact me" so, I didn't contact him. Two whole years passed, he stayed with the other girl for a year and a half, and just BEFORE he ended it with her he'd unblocked me on Facebook, he didn't add me as a friend or message me, he just unblocked me so he could see my profile, and obviously have a nose through my photos and what not to see what my life is like now. A few months later he saw my best friend at a night club (I wasn't out) and he was asking her how I am, and told her to tell me he wants things to be "cool" between us again. After this he added me as a friend. We spoke for ages, he called me nicknames he used to call me when we were going out and flirted with me (this is over Facebook mail) and he suggested we should meet up "soon" so I said yeah sure. Then he said "I think we have some unfinished business to catch up on ;)" so I knew he was talking about sex. I upfront asked him if he was trying to use me for sex and he said he DEFINITELY isn't, and I said what will happen with us? What are your intentions? And he said he doesn't know. What is he playing at? Why would he use me after how PSYCHO I was when we split up, wouldn't any normal guy be too scared to use an ex who full on stalked him for half a year after they broke up the first time round? I know guys think so differently to girls, so I don't know what to think of it all. I'd like all of your opinions? Please help me! :(

[Bleep]

First off the whole post relationship drama can take a big emotional toll, it can make people do insensitive things or say stupid sh*t without them meaning to do it, as they say, sh*t happens!

Now let me get this straight, you were too clingy so you guys split up and the guy is with another girl BARELY a week after?

Think about that.

I'm not saying he didn't care about you or he's an awful guy but one week is a terribly short time to jump to another girl and then having a long relationship with her.

Anyways, if I cut off contact with a girl for a long time and I recently split up with a girlfriend and I start getting in touch with the girl I didn't talk to... I am probably trying to fill the void of the break up.

Or looking for easy sex.

OR... the most unlikely... Just try to find closure and be friends.

I suggest you meet him if you want, but keep YOUR F***ING GUARD UP, you obviously still have strong feelings for him, don't let him play you- AND DONT SEEM CLINGY OR DESPERATE!

Meet him like you would any other buddy you havn't seen in a long time, keep it short! Go out for a coffee in a PUBLIC PLACE. Don't go to his house. Don't stay for a long time. Don't let him try to make moves on you. AS A MATTER OF FACT... DON'T MENTION YOUR PAST RELATIONS AT ALL. This is vital.

Meet him, chat it up, go home and see what he does over the next few days.

Also, feel free to add me as a buddy if you want more advice or whatnot, I'm having a terribly slow Sunday.

[HandsomeBobbi]

Run the other way, get the hell away from this guy. Cancel your date! If he treated you so poorly before what's stopping him from doing it again? Or using you until another girl who he thinks is better (she won't be but he'll try to convince you she is and she probably won't be kind too you either) and throwing you away, you don;t give up someone you love or care for just because some new/random chick told you to. Your behavior after the break up was (honestly similar to my first break up too but my guy was much gentler and let me hold on to our friendship while not giving me false hope) but its understandable. This guy is a jerk you don't need him. He doesn't care about you. He and his (ex)girlfriend seem like terrible people and you don't need them in your life. Leave him alone, if you need closure explain how he hurt you ( use email or letter, something impersonal!) and then never speak to him again! He is not good for you and any relationship will be unhealthy, he seems mean to you and self-centered. He was not good for you and I think injured your self esteem.

Focus on yourself, heal your wounds. Learn a new language, volunteer at a nursing home or big sister/brother program. Have fun, go on bad dates. Take a cooking class, write in a journal whatever it is you need to do to move on and forget him! Focus on your career, your family friends, your new guy, a friggin dog or cat...it doesn't matter, don't go back to him, don't be friends with him. It will end in nothing but pain for you!

[Anonymous]

Let's see...he stayed with a girl that was terribly mean to you and cut you off completely...I think you would look desperate and foolish to go back to him. He said "don't contact me again" I think I would tell him the same. If you still have any feelings for him, you will get hurt.