Search Results: making me feel guilty

I am not really emotionally stable. I know this. I am incredibly insecure and paranoid. I have a superiority complex and so much self hatred that I feel the need to take some of it out on others. I rely too much on other people to keep me from having an emotional breakdown. I have a lot of emotional breakdowns anyway. I get lonely easily and start crying at random times for no reason other than everything is building up. I am easily hurt but I keep most everything bottled up. I constantly feel like I'm annoying people if I talk about how I feel or my own problems. It makes me feel selfish and guilty.

For all of these reasons, as well as having trust issues, I no longer try to get close to people. There are only a couple people I am actually emotionally open with, one online and one in real life. But despite how much they reassure me, I still always feel like I am burdening them by complaining to them when I feel terrible, which is often.

I know I can't keep attempting to go it alone, which I am still partially doing despite coming to true and rely on those couple people, but I feel like dragging anyone else into my mess of a personality and mental state would be selfish and unfair to them, and that even if they were selfless enough to still hang around me, I'd be burdening them, regardless of whether or not they'd admit it. And even if they did stick around for awhile, I think eventually I would still manage to scare them off with the extent of my emotional issues and then I'd just be hurt all over again and have even a harder time trusting than before.

I want to have more people I can rely on, and I know someone who might actually be good for me if I'd just get over my nervousness and paranoia to talk to him, but I still feel like I shouldn't try to befriend him, because I'd only end up emotionally relying on him and in turn making his life worse.

Am I supposed to attempt to make friends anyway or just try to avoid hurting anyone?