Pre-judging: Pause before you speak, and don't react in a hateful way towards others!

[Anonymous]

Although every person has their own unique individual personality. We all have one thing in common.....Emotional PAIN.

At some point in our lives we have or will face Emotional PAIN. We all have our own unique story. Most of us have an untold story. We don't always disclose to other's what we've faced or what we are going through . Some may tell others of their story,but in most cases they hold some of it back. In life ,pain is inevitable. Whether it's due to the wrong choices we've made,unforseen circumstances , or something which is beyond our control.

We all make assumptions about other people. It's human instinct. We are instinctively hard-wired for survival. of course we feel threatened at times. We go into fight-flight-freeze mode, and are unable to see the myriad possible reasons for another’s behavior. We get tight and defensive. This is a normal first reaction. The key is to pause before we act out of this mode.

Imagine you are walking through a forest and you see an animal. At first glance it looks friendly and approachable. You walk towards it to pet it. Suddenly ,it shows it's teeth , and tries to bite you. The animal no longer seems so friendly and you feel fear and possibly anger. You are about to hurry away when you see the animal has one of its legs caught in a trap. Now, you feel compassion for it. You now reason on why it became aggressive ,it's because it is in pain and is suffering. Sometimes if you look beyond a persons exterior you can have insight into why they are the way they are. You only see what they appear to be,not who they really are.

There's many reasons why we judge other people. It can protect us from any potential hurt,or prevent us from putting ourselves in a dangerous situation,but sometimes we judge people in a negative way when it's totally unfounded. Many of us are guilty of it. Although judgment is a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak, or respond in a hateful way towards the person. Pause to see if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. After all, like that animal in the trap, we really don’t know the reasons for someone’s behavior.

We're hard on each other because we are using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.We often unfairly judge others, but hate it when people judge us.So before judging someone, make sure that you know all the facts about this person. Maybe you don´t know the whole story, you don’t know their problems or what's on their mind. It is very important to hold off until you know all facts. Instead of judging, try to help them or leave them alone. Try not to disrepsct other peoples feelings

Perfectionists tend to judge every person they meet in their lives. They don’t admit their own mistakes but love to point out someone else’s flaws. We all make mistakes every now and then. Before criticizing someone’s actions, make sure you know the reasons for their actions. Maybe they have reasons for the way they are or the things they do. For example: some people with poor social skills may have Asperger’s syndrome. So if someone’s invading your personal space (as someone with Asperger’s might), remember again, it’s not about you. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

When you judge other people, you don’t define them, you actually define yourself.

When someone disagrees with us or somehow makes our life difficult, remember that in most cases its not aout us. It may be about their pain or struggle. Why not give others the benefit of the doubt? Look for basic goodness. This takes practice, as our minds naturally scan for the negative, but if we try, we can almost always find something good about another person. Having an insight into why they are the way they are will help us to have a different preception of them.

Most of us do the best we can with the resources we have at any given moment.. perhaps think of it as they are simply solving a problem in a different way than you would. This may help you be more open-minded and accepting of their behavior.

An important lesson to be learned

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.

On seeing him, the father yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came as fast as I could after receiving the call and now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”.

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies while waiting for doctor than what will you do??” said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again and replied, “We will do our best by God’s grace and you should also pray for your son’s healthy life”.

“Giving advises when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank goodness! your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running by saying, “If you have any questions, ask the nurse”.

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left. The nurse answered, tears coming down her face, “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

Moral: Think before you Judge anyone ,because you never know how their life is and what they’re going through.Pause before you speak or react in a hurtful way.

This Take isn't intended to discourage you from using your instinctive judgement ,it's about avoiding hurting others by making the wrong assumption about them. Rather than say hateful things to them or about them.....either help them or ignore them.

We all hate being judged wrongly, and we are all hiding some pain inside... so never underestimate the pain of others.

All my love... Mystery Writer xx 💋💕

[KBob93]

I wrote a Take similar to this!! I'll post the link...