Search Results: getting your attention

Sorry about the confusion. Anyways, I’m 23 my little sister isn’t 18 and she’s the attractive one. She’s gotten attention her whole life and I’ve only recently started getting noticed. Four months ago we met this guy through a friend and both of us were attracted to him. He showed more interest in me which pissed off my sister. He told me that he liked both of us. She started flirting with him and his attention diverted away from me to her. I ended up leaving the state a few days later to go back to uni and not long after the two of them started hooking up. She said it was a no strings attached thing cause he was seeing someone on and off. Anyways, they haven’t seen each other in a month. They broke their hooking up thing off cause my sis started feeling guilty that he has a girlfriend and now she’s seeing someone. I’m back and he contacted me. One thing lead to another and we had sex, it was hot, he kept saying I’m better and all ( I know I shouldn’t but I found it hot) when my sis found out about our hookup she lost her temper. And told me I’m pathetic that I always take her seconds. In front of our mom she said that all the guys like her and when she drops them they crawl to me and that I’m so desperate that I accept them knowing that they didn’t want me at first. She got really angry. Then she forwarded me messages that he sent her last night, begging to see her and asking her why she dropped him. Now I feel like an idiot. We had sex three nights ago and all day today he’s been texting her. She’s been ignoring him. I’m so confused. He told me he liked me and all. What’s your opinion? Sorry for the long paragraph

Oh, okay. So this is going to be a weird one across the form but I’ve meet and seen people who have similar feelings that I do about this with no resolve.

I don’t understand why; but I have a strong urge to have someone beat me up. I don’t mean severely either to where I’m barely breathing, let alone alive. I just mean a few bruises, maybe a busted lip, bloody nose, cuts deep but not deep enough to cause anything serious. But not only that, I want them to do it in a secluded wooded area and tie me up and then just leave me there once they’re done.

I know it sounds absolutely fucking insane to actually want someone to do this to you and willingly go along with it; I’ve even wanted to pay someone to do it, but I’ve never posted anything because I don’t want to die and I figure that’s exactly how I’d attract someone wanting to kill me.

It’s not an obsession either, it’s just an urge I get every once in awhile and it’s almost crippling when it’s brought on to the point I’ve thought of beating myself up in place of another just to see if it’d stop the madness but I am not strong enough to cause bruising to myself, let alone bleeding (I’ve tried to no avail).

I’ve brought it to the attention of my therapist recently and she dismissed it with the idea that its natural to have such violent thoughts about our wellbeing, such as wanting to be in a car crash, or getting hit by a car. It’s a desire to be in a situation beyond your control that could potentially be lethal, and I’m not discrediting it because she’s probably right but I just feel as though this just isn’t the same thing.