Search Results: being a good girlfriend

My girlfriend Jocelyn does favours for me even though I tell her not to. The reason I tell her not to is because I feel she does these things for the wrong reason. For example, Jocelyn cooks for even after I’ve told her multiple times not to. She says she does it because she wants me to keep my muscular physic. And that If I stopped working out and got fat she’d leave me.

Jocelyn also a bunch of male friends and it makes me uncomfortable. I know these guys wanna sex with her, she even admitted it. I told her numerous times how I feel. She told me that she’s every guy’s fantasy and I’m just insecure. After having numerous fights over the male friends Jocelyn finally said to me “I’ll stop hanging out with guys, since you’re so jealous”.

For the last 3 weeks things were good. She was telling to come over almost every day, constantly telling me she’s happy, how I’m the one etc. Then 2 days ago everything fell apart. She asked me to walk across the street and buy her food and I accidentally bought her the wrong thing.

She was very angry, and I apologized and told her I’m going back to get the right order. She told me she was too mad to eat and not to bother. Then she started complaining she’s been unhappy with the relationship and starts saying telling me I’m lazy and don’t care about her. I asked her why she’d say such a thing.

Jocelyn starts complaining that I don’t know what she wants, and when she wants it. That I don’t pay attention to her needs. And that she shouldn’t have to ask me to do things for her, I should just know. With that being said haven’t spoken to her in 2 days.

Should emotional puzzle pieces align just right.. after all... easy feels good...

If so, it means you don't have to change...

... context...
I've had a friendzone that felt... so easy going, fun, no pain. I learned nothing... time went by... I don't recall changing as I wasn't challenged emotionally as I remained in my comfort zone... one conditioned from the wounds of life. Do you feel fine as you are? My "soul mate" as one described, was a match from hell. She enabled me to be suspended in my flawed state of being as time wasted away.

I've had two romantic relationships since wit lots of pain, the dangling friendzone was poison, but real issues resulted from my emotional flaws in intimate relationships.

My girlfriend today challenges me on moral, value, integrity. She saw foundation cracks early... testing my perceptions was hard, I denied when she tested... avoidance, perception. It hurt her greatly to struggle against "the waves" of my wounded subconscious. I changed, after hours or weeks of fighting.

Serious flaws in my deeper inner self were exposed like the archeologists uncover old relics. Wounds of long ago, stuff that felt "normal" in me, controlled me... limited me... guided me in the wrong directions. Fear... of intimacy, shame. Trusting the wrong people and mis trusting... traced to early life bonding issues with mother. Avoidant personality, passive aggressive... wounds from being sensitive and being hurt and inability to fight back. Just a few. The roots of all is deep emotional wounding in childhood. Point being...

I was warned about how relationships are... work. I didn't understand. Being challenged with love is good.. for your own and mutual growth! Does it end? Is life like a game of donkey kong... conquor one level to get to another, try not to fall down to the bottom... or jump when it's too hard.