Search Results: what to talk about with your boyfriend

I’m in a LDR, that my partner and I have this schedule when we chat with each other. Due to different time zones. But this week has been feeling different/off. Which makes me worry.

Just yesterday I could not get ahold of boyfriend at all. Hours were passing by and he didn’t say “good morning” or nothing. That my thoughts and insecurities were setting in and I was imagining the worst. (Since I have been ghosted in the past from dating apps.) Then he reached out to me reassured me that he was very busy. But my mind kept wondering “why couldn’t he just write to me, that he was going to have a busy day today?”

So here is the next day again, and still no ‘good mornings’ and selfie’s. I called him and he didn’t answer. Then he called me back explaining that he was eating. Which left me confused since we have had talked to each other while he was eating. Why is he getting bothered to be disturbed while eating all of a sudden (especially from me?)

Then I began asking him questions:
“Are you busy?”
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“Am I smothering you?”
“Is there someone else?”
“Do you want to hang out with your friends more?”

And all questions he replied with

“No”
“No”
“Sigh, No”
“No only you love”


What should I do?

my boyfriend and I have argued in the past over him not defending me against his family being racist, rude, or body shaming me. They’ve made racist jokes, made fun of my body, always say my name wrong, talk about other girls or his ex, and address me by talking to him (hey, Bf’s name, did OP eat before coming?”) or something along those lines as I stand RIGHT by him. I’ve made every effort with them to talk and be nice.
last time he didn’t defend me against a racist joke, he apologized and comforted me after like always but I told him that was the last chance he had.
Today his friend who I’m friends with but not nearly as closely as he is ‘jokingly’ called me flat and said I’m built like a board. He is usually pretty sarcastic and it’s hard to tell when he means it or not. After a few seconds where I didn’t laugh he said “sorry just kidding!!” And I didn’t say anything cause I’m at his/my bf’s house with my boyfriend and I didn’t know if I’d be overreacting. I’ve had many bad experiences of being bodyshamed and made fun of for being skinny and it’s really gotten to me over time. I expected my boyfriend to at least step in and say something guiding— not even outright confrontational— but something like “too far man”, But he didn’t. He just made a sad face at me and went back to scrolling on his phone.
I can’t tell if he just didn’t want to make things awkward for me, if he thought it wasn’t a big deal, or if he once again decided his security was more important than defending me. he definitely heard it happen.
so my questions are-
1: would you have said something if you were him? (I know I should’ve, I was just uncomfortable with it being his+bf’s apartment that I am staying at for tonight).
2: is this a big enough breach to warrant me upholding my “that was your last chance”?
im planning on talking about it with my boyfriend tomorrow no matter what but he fell asleep for now and his roommate is still up so I can’t talk about It with him at this time

I come over on weekends and boyfriend (of 8 years on the 11th) and I share a queen bed. The way he likes us to sleep is on top of the comforter with single Mexican blankets covering us. One of them is slightly larger, I usually use it since I get colder and it covers my shoulders and feet. He will keep the fan on every night and sometimes crack the window even in 20 degrees, so I’m usually cold at his house.

Lately, he’s been getting colder with the winter weather. Last night, he got really angry and started yelling at me because he said he was tired of being cold in his own bed and blamed me. Saying I don’t give a shit about him, when just that morning I had given him the extra blanket I went and got out of the living room and literally covered him up with it. It didn’t matter to him and he ended up telling me he didn’t even want me here. He knows I’m struggling with feeling like no one wants me around and am at a really low point, as I just mentioned it not long ago. I started crying and he offered no comfort (he usually doesn’t), instead he got more mad. He told me “Alright I told you to be quiet and you’re not, so leave.” I was crying and begging him to just let me go to bed at that point, I had already taken something to help me sleep so driving wasn’t an option.

Honestly I feel sometimes like he wants an excuse to be mean to me. He could’ve easily gotten under the blanket we sleep on top of, or gotten one out of his closet and now I have to hear his words of “I don’t even want you here echoing in my mind now, when I already feel totally unwanted, even by my own family. I try to talk to him and he doesn’t listen. Is he justified to be so upset at me? What are your thoughts? Thanks in advance!