Search Results: gifts for dad

My family called her cold hearted and selfish woman that didn’t give a rats ass about me for a decade. She abandoned be when I was 7 in a half and left my dad to raise me alone. My late dad even called my mom a bitch right in front of me and didn’t care. He said I’m old enough and he can say those words around me since I’m an adult. I had just turned 18 at the time. My best friends called my mother a selfish, cold blooded bitch for abandoning my dad and why am I grieving over a woman that didn’t want me. She didn’t deserve empathy.
I screamed at them but they told me it was the truth and I refused to accept it. My mom didn’t just leave. She wrote us letters and sent us post cards. She responded to me once in a while and never thanked me for the Mother’s Day of birthday gifts I sent her and people told me to stop sending them and she doesn’t deserve them. My dad told me to stop calling my mother a good mom and faking having a loving relationship when she is garbage. No offense but it’s the truth.
My late dad had no filter and he was BLUNT.

Thanks in advance for reading this. Seeking opinions about the situation.

My grandma passed away & left money (>$20k) from her pension. She has 5 children, including my dad. After she died, they all had a meeting & agreed to use some of it to cover the funeral costs & give the rest to my dad since she lived with us for 30 years. She had dementia, didn’t leave a will & he was also her next of kin.

The money was used to cover the funeral, but for her urn, my dad suggested that himself & his siblings pay it as a final gift to their mother to honour her & send her into the afterlife. However, his siblings refused & instead wanted to use grandma’s money & divide the excess amount owing. My parents are very hurt as they think it’s a dishonour to grandma & that she shouldn’t be paying for her own urn.

I explained to them at a family meeting today. They agreed to contribute, but stated that because they were now contributing their own money, they want an equal share of what money was remaining from grandma. I asked them why they changed the shares now & they said that because they’re now paying from their own pockets, they expect something in return from grandma. I explained that they shouldn’t do something to expect something in return, or it wouldn’t be a true gift, & that it’s not about the money, it’s just the principle.

They didn’t take it well & accused my dad for conning them of their/grandma’s money & said we mistreated her, treated her like our slave, abandoned her & left her hungry- which were very untrue. They were never involved in her daily care after she was diagnosed with dementia & rarely visited.

Now my parents are paying it all & not taking any inheritance, as they don’t want any leverage against them.

My parents, who cared for my grandma are now in debt & extremely hurt by this situation. All of my dad’s siblings are more than financially stable, so $3k each isn’t an issue for them.
Were my parents being unreasonable?