Search Results: how much do you ask about their ex

Just a FYI forgiveness is not forgetting about what someone did. Also it doesn’t require an apology from the other person. It’s letting go of a grudge and literally telling the person they no longer have power over you.

My biggest forgiveness test was when an ex girlfriend did something completely unexpected and heinously callous to me a few years ago. I’m rarely taken by surprise. But how she treated me after a very serious issue came up absolutely blindsided me. Never in a million years I would of thought she would treated me the way she did

For a while I thought she was going to think it over and reach out & apologize for it. But she didn’t. After agonizing about the issue for over 2 years I finally sent her a very carefully email about what she did, how it hurt me but I forgave her. That didn’t magically fix everything but I felt a sense of personal liberation. I felt stronger and more at peace afterwards.

Now this isn’t just about relationships but society in general. Wanting revenge is very human. No one wants to be a push over. But often there is nothing you can (legally) do to get even. I was virtually powerless to get back my ex about how she treated me given the incident. Not matter how much I fantasized about some method to make her feel the pain I felt I had to painfully accept there was nothing I could do.

But there are other non romantic scenarios as well. White people can’t undo the past sins of slavery and Jim Crowe. Men can’t undo the past oppression women endured. History is history and you can only move forward.

But with all the hate and vitriol going on in the world right now I have yet to see any community leader ask their followers to forgive past transgressions. You can do that and at the same make changes for a better future. If someone really had the guts to propose that idea I think it would catch a lot of people off guard. It would ultimately bring the healing our nation so badly needs right now.

4 years ago, my fiance at the time decided to do a mission for her church and abruptly ended our engagement, kept the ring and I never got a reasonable explanation on why.
For two years, I was absolutely heartbroken, but I met my current girlfriend two years ago and I've never been happier.

Today, I went to do a house call to repair some broken appliances at a client's home. Husband seems nice and we are talking a bit. In comes his wife who wound up being my ex...
Immediately she became very uncomfortable and acted funny the moment she saw me. I finished my work and I didn't show that it bothered me that she was there, because deep down I was still so angry at her.
Her husband picked up on the tension and asked how I knew his wife and I bluntly said I was her ex fiance from 4 years ago. He looked shocked, and she looked concerned and like she was a kid who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
I told him I wasn't gonna discuss it and we settled my fees and I left.
Part of me was satisfied with his reaction and that she was bothered so much by it. But part of me also wishes I just said I didn't know who she was. I had am easy out. I suffered a bad head injury last year and I have a scar on the side of my head from the accident and I could've easily claimed I didn't remember or know her.
But she looked at me very angrily as I left. But it's true, and bitch didn't even give me back the ring so🤷‍♂️