Ever dealt with a stalker? Yea well i hope you kicked buttootie as good as the people dealing with them in film.
Checkout these Must-See fatal attraction films (or at least their gifs) and let me know if you’re interested in watching any.
‘HERE LIES THE CRAZY COWORKERS’
#1 FATAL ATTRACTION
I mean, its in the title of this take for goodness sakes 🤷♀️ Gordon Gekko has left Wall Street. What could’ve been a happy life with a happy wife has been put at risk to have an affair with Cruella Deville. She skins his white rabbit like its the next Dalmation and throws that bit into a boiling pot of twisted seductive insanity 🤣 Will he be able to keep this a secret from his wife and child while fighting off Granny Hoodwinked?
This ones got Claire Redfield whose clearly gotten bit by some sort of stalker zombie because she loses her shiiiiii and starts stalking Detective Luther. I can’t believe Becky with the good hair really think she's gonna steal another man away from Beyonce. Has she not seen The Wire? Has she not seen Solange throw hands in an elevator? 🤔
Okay this one really isn't worth watching but Seneca Crane has left the Hunger Games and he has a new target in mind. For once, his night shift doesn't consist of running from Ghost Rider because he's too busy stalking his coworker Scarlett from GI Joe. I mean at least she's not living as much of a nightmare as she did in the Amityville Horror remake 🤷♀️
Here we have Mr. Luther West thinking he found his Dream Girl in the Resident Evil Afterlife. He conjured up Miss Martian from the Arrowverse and tried to make her a happy wife but nonetheless he gave her a sad sex life. One might ask, “Why Did I Get Married?” I don't know hunny you tell me. I mean this was definitely a Woman Thou Art Loosed On The 7th Day because she was banging a diff dude on the daily until one finally becomes obsessed with her good 😺 *meow* and tried to kill her
‘HERE LIES THE CRAZY ROOMIES’
#5 SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
The Snow Queen has taken a break from Lake Placid and is on the hunt for an apartment. She needs a roommate and comes across Nash who has somehow escaped The Hitcher (original). This time around, she's the stalker rather than being stalked. Her body went from being ripped in half to now being too willing and too ready for the fun things she wants to do with Ms. Fonda.
#6 THE ROOMMATE
This movie is basically just about that. Well actually its about another Single White Female since they totally copied the movie. 🎶 I’m just a summer girl, I wear my flip flops, and when i stalk Autumn from 500 Days of Summer, thats when the party stops. Well who needs a boyfriend when she can have a girlfriend? 🎶 Yep Jackie Kennedy ends up rooming with a seemingly lesbian psycho... a Gossip Girl whos dang near her twin and clearly too Country Strong to take down.
‘HERE LIES CRAZY BABYMAMA DRAMA’
#7 WHEN THE BOUGH BREAKS
Instead of that sexy ole chocolate Chestnut being shot down by the Boyz N Da Hood *internally screams Rickyyyy* he has some young teen trying to pick him up. He keeps tryna tell her #MyAnacondaDontWantNone but she's a turkey basting biiiiish. Im a bit pissed that Brenda didn't go all Scary Movie since everywhere she goes, she sees the same hoes 🤷♀️
#8 THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE
Milady De Winter has left behind the Three Musketeers in search of “mothering” someone other than Ms. Patsy Walker. I dont think this lady ever plays a noncrazy character. Well who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS! Wesley Snipes caught the Jungle Fever from his booty call, so instead they called up Winston Zeddemore to save the day.
‘HERE LIES CRAZY FANGIRLS & EX-MEN’
Here we have another idiot whos living a happy life with his soon to be wife YET he decides to sleep with The Perfect Score. Like i can't believe he left Bring It On to get it on with The Parenthood of all people. Man i bet he wishes he had a Clockstopper watch to go back and fix this moment 😂 Because she's no Mary Jane. This lady is psychoooo and addickted and will stop at nothing to make sure he’s swimming inside of her by the end of the night!
#10 THE FAN
Frankenstein takes the time out to head to New Jack City to stalk his favorite baseball player. The old Dirty Grandpa said screw Miami, im into playing with the big balls in the big league now 🙈 So he goes and kidnaps The Little Focker but little does he know, this guy was once a US Marshall.
Mrs. Bates goes all Psycho in this movie. You literally want to throw Fried Green Tomatoes at Dolores Claiborne but her acting is so on point that you just want to clap instead. And while you’re clapping for her, she’s clapping back as an obsessed fan over her favorite author. She holds Piccolo hostage and well its literally like Brian’s Song all over again 😭
#12 MY SUPER CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND
The Bride returns for Kill Bill Vol 3 and this time she’s looking to blow dumbazz Cindy Campbell off the face of the earth. Its more like Superhero Movie 2 than another Scary Movie but I mean its all-in-all complete Idiocracy the way these ill-Legally Blondes fight over the Royal Tenebaum. This here's a shark outta water! Literally...
#13 THE PERFECT GUY
After Donna Tubbs takes a break from the Cleveland Show, she goes to battle a bunch of Aliens vs Predators but falls prey to a blue eyed monster who’s green with envy. She thinks he's a keeper but he's definitely one of the Takers. Hopefully she can Think Like a Man in order to overpower this one.
Detective Rigg has returned for a new chapter of Saw. He should be focusing on solving the pieces to the puzzle but he’s too busy building a new battery. After all, someone's gonna need that extra battery life with the way he's draining Cookie Lyons energy all the time. She spends years waiting on Baby Boy hand and foot as he remains unemployed working on his invention. Eventually tired of little boy Rookie Blue’s BS, she decides to leave to find a new Hustle and Flow. Once he becomes successful off of the battery, she returns in hopes of rekindling but finds out he’s moved on. Well, she’s Not Easily Broken, but this is one Proud Mary who feels No Good Deed should go unpunished as she’s determined to steal the financial success she feels entitled to.
There once was a Maid in Manhattan. She had Angel Eyes and a booty like Selena. She married into the Dynasty of a handsome Prince but he turned out to be another Ted Bundy. Out to dispose of her and gain full custody of their kid, he will stop at nothing. So does this Jersey Girl have a Backup Plan or what?
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch are back and theyre bringing the Good Vibrations. I mean I’m pretty sure it was a sweet sensation when he fingered Elle Woods on top of the ferris wheel 😬 Yup that happened and now Daddys Home willing and ready to kill her father to assure he's the only man she ever calls daddy again. Hella weird right? Max Payne has transformed and is bringing the Pain & Gain. Sometimes a restraining order just isn't enough to help a Legally Blonde win the case 🤷♀️
#17 BORN BAD
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane but not all the boys are loved in return. Can’t believe Mike went from being a goody two shoes in the Twilight saga just to be reborn bad. This movie is good but basically a Fear remake.
#18 SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
Erin Brockovich basically marries the charming Robin Hood. But soon as she becomes his Pretty Woman, he starts abusing her on the daily. He’s as hypnotic as he was in Dracula and well Tinker Bell just can't seem to escape a mustache thats about as pedo-ish as that of captain Hook. So she decides to become a Flatliner and fakes her death. She flees on the Highway to Hell in search of NeverLand but King Arthur has his connections and just won't let her get away that easily
‘HERE LIES ALL THE OTHER CRAZY STALKING SON OF A GUNS’
#19 THE BOY NEXT DOOR
Someone call 9-1-1 cause this hotties about to attack Jenny from the Block. It could’ve been a turn on except for the fact that she's playing a teacher stalked by her student. Like Lordy please just let his fine azz be at least 18 and legal cause J-Lo went lower than low in this one. Im gonna need her to Step Up like we’re watching World of Dance or something 😂
#20 THE INTRUDER
I can't believe its only been the Day After Tomorrow and “The Perfect Guy” is now the playing the perfect victim. Even worse, The Rookie of the year Jim Morris has escaped the intruder of Cold Creek Manor only to become one himself. He sells his home to Cousin Skeeter and begins terrorizing the new residents of Eve’s Bayou. It gets really awkward when daddy Parent Trap tries to go Waist Deep in a D.E.B. 😆
So Hit Girl totally sucked at Kick-Asss in this movie. She basically gets kidnapped by the Fantastic Mrs Fox and is mad she doesn’t get to go to Big Mommas House too. But It Follows her home and so does the not-so-dumb blonde from that movie. No but really its up to her save scary Carrie from this old red-headed wretch.
I know this was confusing af but if you know your actors/actresses then the movies references make total sense. Okay no, its just me? Well fine then. Still make sure to check out some of these movies when you get a chance because I’d love to discuss. Although I’ll admit, some of these were so totally not worth watching. But ehhh i figured i’d throw em im there anyway. Its not like they were as bad as that movie Chloe.