Was I wrong to fight my dad after he hit me and insulted my mom?

[Badtobad]

I hate my dad since I was 13. Once, he called my mom a whore, I punched him in the chest and he threw himself at me, I got him in a headlock, but he got out and slapped me on my face several times and I had a bloody face

He had to leave house because I threatened to call police.

Updates

1 mo

IGNORE THE TITLE
THAT'S AI

Updates

1 mo

I WAS 22

[Finchie40]

Well unfortunately violence is wrong period , hitting someone because you are upset with them or angry with them is not the right thing to do , because it doesn’t solve anything , it just makes the person you are angry with , more angrier than they were to begin with. I grew up with an alcoholic abusive father that use to beat me and my brothers’ up for pretty much no reason at all , and my mom was abused by him as well , it happened so much to the point violence just became a normal thing to me , because violence happens every where and that’s what’s wrong with this society , and why so many people go to jail and so many people get killed or beaten badly over it. Society in a sense praises violence , every time I go on social media , I always come across fighting and violence and most
Of us will watch it like it’s entertainment. So if you grew up with violence and grew up witnessing violence , then you are more than likely a violent person but you have a choice on whether you want to be violent or be an harmless person. I choose to be a harmless person as much as possible , unless someone really crosses the line with me , or really hurts one of my loved ones , because I know beating someone up over stupid words they said , doesn’t solve anything , all stupid words can do , is effect your own ego , if you can’t control your ego , you are more than likely going to fight instead of just walking away. So condoning violence isn’t a wise thing to do , so whatever happens to you after you condoned violence , you pretty much deserved the consequences of your actions , it wasn’t wrong of you to stick up for your mom, it was wrong of you to attack your father over it and that’s why you ended up with a bloody face. Look what happened to me when my ex attacked me when I was sleeping , all I should of done was go back to sleep but instead I allowed my Ego to get the better of me and I grabbed her wrists to calm her down and I said some threatening things to her , basically told her if she lays another finger on me , I was going to smash her face in then I let go of her wrists and went back to bed , then the cops walked in my bedroom and put me in handcuffs , over something she started and now I am suffering the consequences of my actions , when I should of just went back to bed and not allow
My ego to get the better of me. Yes I was hurt and devastated and sad and angry by the way she was treating me but grabbing her wrists did nothing , it just got me in trouble with the law and she walked away like this victim when really she is the villain. So I now take full responsibility for my actions and learned that if another girl ever attacks me again, my ass is running the other way 😂😂😂

[Vesuvius87]

The best answer I've seen so far and yes it's true that society glorifies violence. They still glorify a parent striking a 12-14 year-old with a belt or smacking them just because the kid or teen backtalked. That's still reaching to words with violence. They even put lots of hearts and likes on social medias, keep saying that's real parenting and how that's the way backtalking is solves. I get so disappointed in seeing people with cavemen, violent mentality.
If a parent solves the backtalking issue in a non-physical manner and instead removes privileges, making it clear being rude isn't tolerated that parent gets few likes, few comments and even mocked for not using the belt or sandals. Wow... idiots.
Then some of those people preach about getting hit back if you hit someone. But hitting anyone over words (that's not even self-defense) just because your ego is hurt is still hitting first; it's still violence.

[Finchie40]

Exactly , violence is not the solution to anything , but unfortunately, we live in a world filled with it and why so many people find it entertaining is beyond me and it’s why this society is the way that it is , fucked up , because we all can’t just get along and agree on things. It blows my mind that serial killers have fans after murdering innocent people, it blows my mind that war is even a thing , there is so much violence in this world that I pray every day there is a heaven where none of this shit happens after I die. We live in a society filled with greed and power and violence to the point it’s harder to trust each other. All I ever wanted in life was to live peacefully and content and fall in love , but unfortunately we have to watch our backs as much as possible because nothing stays positive forever , we are surrounded by negativity and violence constantly. It’s all fun and games until it happens to you and you suffer the consequences of your actions , that’s only if you are still alive from it

[Badtobad]

I agree

[AviatorTom]

You have the right to defend yourself, but it sounds like you initiated the physical contact with your father. It was wrong for him to denigrate your mother, but that was her battle to fight, not yours. Hitting him was wrong.

After you hit him, he had every right to defend himself and hit you back. His leaving the house was a good idea to prevent your encounter from escalating.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[ohsheeT]

Well I don't know the whole story but your dad should chill out and love your mother not use her as his anger bag

And what does he expect you to do I mean wouldn't he do the same thing if a guy was hitting his mother or his daughter

The thing about hitting people is if you hit someone be prepared to be hit back

Hitting somebody doesn't solve anything as a matter of fact it creates more chaos

But if I seen a man hit my mom well it's not going to end well

If you think about everything in life what we go through here and there accidents this and that I can get through anything it's not that big of a deal anymore to me but there's like four or five things that will set me off and number one is hitting an elderly person I would not put up with that picking on somebody that cannot defend themselves I would not put up with that when the girl says no she means no I would not put up with that if you hit a child in front of me I'm going to come after you if you kick your pet in front of me I'm going to come after you

So even though I think it's wrong you're with your question I can't say that because there's those four or five things that I believe in so much that I would not let it happen but you guys have to find a new way a better way because somebody's really going to get hurt and it'll probably be your mom the most innocent one

[Badtobad]

He didn't hit her, he swore and yelled at her, I lost my temper and hit him because I had enough at the time, it was most likely wrong from me.

I agree with everything but the pet. I don't value animals.

[sage2021]

When I was about 14, my mom married this guy who was an alcoholic. They were constantly fighting and making up. The cops would come every Friday night and take him to jail. He would be out the next morning and standing in the front yard calling my name so he could come back home.

But as time went on, he started hitting my Mom and leaving big bruises on her.

He was 6' 1" tall and I was barely 5 feet tall when I was 14. But I used to stand in between them when they were fighting and told him that he was going to have to hit me instead of her. I went right in his face and dared him to hit me and he wouldn't.

I was so happy when he moved out!

You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.

[_Lynx]

Depends I would say. Because in general, violence is the way of weak.

Now certainly there's verbal violence too which seemingly he did too.
But what I am saying that there could have been a better way I guess.

As for standing up for her, then that's 100% a noble thing. And I hear that a father who insults his wife (children's mother) is just naturally bringing them to hate and fight him.. and it is a way of insulting them actually. So I wouldn't say it is wrong in concept, not the means though.

[Karrimurray]

Honestly, I can understand why you reacted. If my dad hit me and then insulted my mom, I’d probably be hurt and angry too. I don’t think violence is the best answer, but I also don’t think you should feel guilty for defending yourself or standing up for your mom. Sometimes emotions just take over.

[ericJackson]

You weren't wrong to stand up for your mom or defend yourself when things got physical. Nobody should have to tolerate verbal or physical abuse, especially from a parent. Threatening to call the police was the right move to de-escalate the situation and keep everyone safe. Stay strong.

[midnightmoon05]

What’s the update now? Since it happened when you were 22 years old.
how is your mom?

we can’t say who is right or wrong here…been so long… and we are only hearing from one side…

more importantly what is going on now?

[MasterKS]

@midnightmoon05 yes we need part II, LOL

[Badtobad]

Still really had

[midnightmoon05]

Can you say more?

[Badtobad]

I just posted a question

[midnightmoon05]

Yes you are wrong.
I hope you get the support you need to form a healthy life and your parents are in a better place.

[Jewelmyth]

Just like my relationship with my father, your father is wrong, and because he's wrong, express your reaction, don't stay silent. People like that are manipulative.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Do you also hate and beat your father?

[Jewelmyth]

@TonyMetal___1986 I never hit my father, but I tell him I hate him and that he should die, and I feel happy when I say that. I hope he'll always be unhappy.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Damn! i'm so surprised seeing a daughter wishing the death of her own father, while a daughter does anything to make her father have a long happy life!

The amount of hate is really surprising, like why do you hate him so much 🤔

[Jewelmyth]

@TonyMetal___1986 He's a disgusting man, he always restricted me and insulted me, always humiliated me, he upset my mother, I always tell him to his face that I hate him. He used to try very hard to make people like him; he would give money to anyone who asked, but now people hate him because it's pointless to do anything for worthless people. I wish he had made his family happy instead of trying to make other people happy, I wish he would die and go to hell.

[TonyMetal___1986]

wow 😳

[TonyMetal___1986]

What happens between your parents is non of your business, taking a side with your mom truly shows the level of hate towards your dad, even if he was wrong, you must respect him and ask him to have a talk with him...

[Badtobad]

I disagree, I will not tolerate abuse towards my mom

[TonyMetal___1986]

What if she was the abuser, will take a stand against her for your dad?

[Badtobad]

Yes I would but my dad is a huge c@nt

[TonyMetal___1986]

I understand what you're saying, but in the end he's still your dad, have you ever tried to handle it in a different way instead of being hostile?

[Badtobad]

Impossible with him. I want his ass beat, look at my recent post

[TonyMetal___1986]

Where's your recent post?

[Badtobad]

My dad broke my finger in a fight after I spat at him—what now? ↗

[DonaldDarko]

No he's dog shit. Would be great if you defended yourself with a fire arm. My old man deserved that to.

[Maria1986z]

Not wrong nothing wrong standing up for people you love.

[MasterKS]

@Maria1986z point.

[Jackblue]

Your actions were understandable, and it seems like he hit you a lot more than you hit him. I always advise against violence, but you were only 13 and you certainly had a right to be upset.

[Badtobad]

I was 22

[Jackblue]

Well still it is understandable what you did.

[Badtobad]

I think I was in the wrong, I shouldn't have hit hin

[Badtobad]

Him...

[Jackblue]

Well, best not to dwell on it now.

[Badtobad]

Oh it's you again, that guy who supports old women preying on kids. You are sick in the head. You pervert.

[Jackblue]

Maybe I was wrong to support that.

[Badtobad]

Maybe? Yeah you are very suspicious and

[Badtobad]

And creepy for defending women taking advantage of kids. That's criminal and predatory behaviour.

[slatyb]

How old were you? And no, you weren't wrong. How are you now? Sounds pretty traumatic.

[Badtobad]

I am 29 now

[georgeboy2006]

My advice for you is that you should stay aware from him

[RareBreedOfMan]

No man should hit a woman no matter who he is. No you weren't wrong, your temper left go.

[Badtobad]

It has nothing to do with gender, yes, I was wrong.

[Badtobad]

People need to control themselves and I lost it. I deserved it. Stop being a simp.

[canamlusciouslad73]

H**L to the NO !!! For what he did to you and your mom, you should have whipped his worthless a** good !!!

[Vegasrunner]

Yes you were wrong. You shouldn't go around hitting people.

[Cidknee]

I don't think you're wrong for protecting your mom.

[ThisSiteSux]

Your mom is a whore and you are a bitch. I hope your dad beats your ass.

[aceleon]

he got what he deserved i think.

[_Jenny_]

Kick him in his balls. @Badtobad

[Ben9500]

Exactly!

[Staximus]

Have you ever tortured any animals, Pazuzu?

[Talhacikk]

Where are u from?

[Badtobad]

Austria

[Talhacikk]

You need to stay as far away from him as possible.

[i_am_back]

No bro you're not wrong here

[wkhan_87]

No , you was not