Search Results: signs of a drinking problem

A few months ago, I drunkenly texted a female friend a flirty message even though I have a girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are working through this issue. I work with the girl I texted and when out in a group for work, drinks are often involved for the whole team. My girlfriend has asked me to not drink around this girl. Because she still doesn’t trust me. I respected her wishes one time but felt extremely left out of the group and as if I were a social pariah. Yesterday, I saw this girl again at a work event and, though I told my girlfriend that I wouldn’t drink if the girl was around, I did anyway. I enjoy drinking. And I enjoy hanging out with my coworkers. I love my girlfriend but I have to drink when I’m out with the group. Everybody else is doing it and I want to be liked. I feel insecure when everybody around me is drinking and I’m not. Am I just being selfish or does this seem like an actual problem?

My current relationship is probably coming to an inglorious end because of my girlfriend's abuse of alcohol. We have dated since February, 2018 and lived together since July, 2018. She has never hid her use of alcohol and I am not opposed to anyone drinking responsibly. I occasionally enjoy a mixed drink myself. Early in the relationship, I minimized the significance of some warning signs and now I regret having done so. Over the past 6 months, her use of alcohol has increased significantly and I have tried to discuss this with her but she maintains a resolute denial that alcohol presents any problems for her, or us.

Over the past two years, she has been terminated from two jobs. I don't know if alcohol was a factor in those dismissals. She has procrastinated tremendously on matters that have some importance and significance. Most importantly, she developed alcoholic gastritis which led to malnutrition which led to 12 days in the hospital and complications from which she is still recovering.

I have begged her to control her drinking. I have offered to stop drinking if she does. I have suggested counselling. Nothing has worked. I finally gave her an ultimatum; I was virtually certainly that would end the relationship but it was the only remaining option. Now we are discussing the terms of her moving out and moving on with our lives.

Have you ever been in a relationship and discovered that your partner was an alcoholic? Did you experience the frustration and anger that comes with living with an alcoholic? Did it end horribly or do you have a happier story about your experience?