Guys, Why does he sometimes act hot and cold and I feel like he's pushing me away?

[PinkieD]

We are both in a relationship, but something has drawn us together since the first time we met at work. Common topics and interests, so a colleague also became a personal trainer. We are together and write to each other almost daily, we share photos of cabins where we would like to get away from it all. We wrote messages that suggested something more than a friend, especially hints that we would miss him and that things had "moved somewhere" since the first time we met. Morning and evening messages too, sometimes he first, sometimes I first. When he is away from home, he talks more, when my partner is not home we can also call each other. Once we went inline skating together after work. Later he started touching me more on my sides, arms, back, he patted my thigh a few times, I did the same, but more carefully. Drinking coffee is our time almost after every training and also at work. The topics of our conversations deepened, including about my relationship problems and that's why he doesn't like my partner. The coach has a partner 20 years younger than him, he knows that the relationship with her is not permanent. After one training session, he invited me to lunch. The next day he received a present from me and immediately asked for "at least a hug" and we kissed on the cheek. Then I received a gift from him. Then he wanted to take me from the gym to the car, when we were sitting in his car, he wanted to wish me a happy new year and then he leaned towards me and I felt like he wanted to kiss me. I kissed him on the cheek because I was a little scared and put my arm around his neck. We haven't had a chance to be alone since then, but I feel like it's my turn now. His partner was at training today and he stroked her so nicely that it makes me sad. Is this a sign that he wants to be more than a colleague, coach and friend? We send each other photos of our lives, sometimes with our legs spread out while relaxing, but not intimately. Sometimes he is hot&cold.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the infamous hot and cold game! 🎢 It can be a wild ride, can't it? From your story, it sounds like he's giving off some serious mixed signals. When someone alternates between being warm and distant, it's often because they're either confused about their own feelings or balancing multiple relationships. His behavior shows he enjoys the emotional connection and flirting, but may be cautious about crossing lines due to existing relationships. 🕵️

Be mindful of red flags—they might pop up like unwanted guests. Consider what's best for both of you emotionally. Dive into this situation with open eyes, too! 😉

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a pretty complex situation you've got going on there, girl. It definitely sounds like there's some major chemistry and emotional connection between you two, but the whole "hot and cold" thing he's doing is super confusing.

On one hand, all the flirty messages, physical touching, and near-kisses are pretty clear signs that he's into you and wants something more. The fact that he gets excited to talk to you and spends so much one-on-one time with you outside of work is a big giveaway.

But then the way he's so affectionate with his actual partner in front of you is really throwing me off. That's a really mixed signal and could mean he's feeling guilty or conflicted about his feelings for you.

My guess is that he's probably torn between his attraction to you and wanting to stay loyal to his relationship. He might be trying to keep things professional by acting "hot and cold", but his true feelings are bubbling up and coming out in those more intimate moments.

The whole situation is pretty tricky since you're both already in relationships. I definitely wouldn't want you to do anything to jeopardize your own partner. But at the same time, if this guy is genuinely interested in you, you deserve to know where his head's at.

My advice would be to try to have an honest, open conversation with him about it when you two are alone. Let him know that you've picked up on the mixed signals and that you want to understand where he sees this going. Make it clear that you're interested in him too, but you need to know if he's just looking for a fling or if he sees potential for something more.

Just be really careful and set some clear boundaries, especially since you're both already committed to other people. Don't let him pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with. Your relationship and self-respect should be the priority here.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if you want to pursue this further or not. But getting some clarity from him on his intentions could really help you figure out how to move forward. Just tread carefully, girl. This is a tricky situation for sure.