Who’s right here?

[Danny_dan92]

I’m going to give a fair warning that this will be a lot to read. But for those that take the time out of their day to read this, I thank you in advance.

I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible but basically my last ex, (yes I know I bring her up a lot. And I will explain why I am still doing so as of now)

Leaves me downright upset and also confused at the same time, since our last split I have made my best efforts of not communicating with her. But despite her actions, she tries to fool me into thinking she’s still heavily invested into me. I was gone and didn’t have my phone for the past 5 days, I come back from my training exercise and I got texts from her, note that prior to that she sent another 3 texts all of which I ignored.

But after coming back and seeing her telling me that she “loves me” still and “misses me” I’m baffled cause all while she’s telling me this she is going out on dates with guys and I’m sure she is actively hooking up with these dudes.

I don’t feel like blocking her cause that’s a childish thing to do, at least given that I don’t really have a reason too since I am not seeing anyone.

I’ll be honest tho that I am also flirting with women and when she found out she was livid. It’s as if she wants me to be all about her even tho she’s far far away atm and is flirting with and is going out with guys. And I told her that’s just not gonna happen, I’m not gonna invest in a woman that isn’t serious about me. No fucken way.

Some of the guys I am on this deployment with have wives or girlfriends back home and some of those said men are getting cheated on.

So why should I invest in a woman like her?

I pretty much told her today, that I don’t want to communicate with her cause I don’t want to be talking to her on the daily only to at some point get that text where she tells me she needs to stop talking to me cause she got serious with a guy. Call it me being protective of my feelings but this girl has crushed me in the past.

Updates

+1 y

Another little detail that didn’t fit.

We had a rocky relationship towards the end due to her neediness and me not being around her due to the distance.

And not only did she confirm that sex was pretty much the only thing that made her stick around with me.

But she once walked away and during that time I was really depressed she left and I wasn’t talking too any woman at all.

She ended up sleeping with a guy 2 days after.

And like a fool I took her back only for it to happen again

Updates

+1 y

Another little detail that didn’t fit.

We had a rocky relationship towards the end due to her neediness and me not being around her due to the distance.

And not only did she confirm that sex was pretty much the only thing that made her stick around with me.

But she once walked away and during that time I was really depressed she left and I wasn’t talking too any woman at all.

She ended up sleeping with a guy 2 days after.

And like a fool I took her back only for it to happen again

Updates

+1 y

Another little detail that didn’t fit.

We had a rocky relationship towards the end due to her neediness and me not being around her due to the distance.

And not only did she confirm that sex was pretty much the only thing that made her stick around with me.

But she once walked away and during that time I was really depressed she left and I wasn’t talking too any woman at all.

She ended up sleeping with a guy 2 days after.

And like a fool I took her back only for it to happen again

[loveisbeautiful]

Sounds like one of those people that falls under the category of "they don't want you, but they don't want anyone else to have you either". Also sounds like someone who maybe when she's lonely or gets rejected decides to say how she feels, in hopes she'll get some sort of validation to make her feel better. I've known more than a few relatives that have had toxic relationships and they only get more toxic, they don't get better. So, you're doing the right thing in not communicating with her. If she's hurt you in the past, there's no reason to think that pattern will change. So, it's smart on your part to protect you heart and keep away from her. You're definitely doing the right thing.

[aicarg]

You need to chop of this poison wound, she's clearly stringing you along and dosen't share the same relationship values that you do. She's one that seems to not know how to be content with herself and constantly seeks the attention of men to fulfill herself. Make your distance from her an advantage to completely block her off. Tell her you're done with her games and say it's best that the two of you don't talk anymore, she's free to flirt and go after the number of guys she wants as you're done with her. If she respects you, she'll comply and stop texting. If she doesn't, then block her and focus on you.

[aeon95]

This actually made me laugh. There's so many women out there to choose from yet you put this thot on a pedestal even after she slept around with other men. Find someone else and don't waste your time with this girl.

[blutwolfe]

Once a cheater always a cheater I learned that too. She's just filling her needs, nothing more it sounds. I think it's a good thing to avoid her she sounds pretty toxic man.

[MissQueeN]

Its toxic. I feel you though. I'm in the same situation. We know we are better than that and so many fish in the sea. But for me, it sucks when you love, care, and shared pretty much everything you have into them & they just can do you like as if you meant nothing to them at all. We dont want to believe it. I think I expected the same EVERYTHING, how I felt, my loyalty, honesty, respect, and just there no matter what. Having each other. Not to be OBLIVIOUS to each other. To many f***ing Games. Sure " oh yeah boy run that game" Same with females. Girl run it play it"
Having no REAL unconditional love. Not the full in thought to heart of he is and she is mine.
WHY WASTE ANYONE'S TIME IN LIFE. ESPECIALLY as a couple. To build. Dating is to see if you like them... wait first if your ready to date then dating is..1. Who they are 2. Getting to know each other. 3. If you continue seeing that person well , your building together as one. Your a damn couple. If you only like just sex. Well dont say you love them. Misconstruing your real meaning. We all know in a relationship if you say "I LOVE YOU" then its loving that person in every way. NOT JUST ONE CHARACTERISTIC THING OR WHAT BENEFITS YOU that sparked a little aww. Dont misleading knowing in your mind ONLY.. sex is good. They have money. Nice house, car, whatever. It's all FUCKING stupid.
KeeP IT REAL. HAVE A HEART. whoever doesn't and is over the age 23 ... ok max 25... if you can't get in your soul. Then I have to ask... DID GOD MAKE YOU THAT WAY?

[Anonymous]

Basically she needs to woman up, quit playing games and just deal with life. Either she’s into you and is willing to prove that she can wait for you, or she’s not, in which case she needs to move the f**k on and have the courtesy to let you do the same (if she really does care for you).

[Danny_dan92]

I fucken love this!

[Opinion Owner]

I speak from experience. I started to fall for someone who’s still in the military and I’d never try and make him unhappy in this way because of my own insecurities, when you genuinely care for someone you want them to be happy, whatever that means (within reason obviously). We’re still on good terms and have plans to meet when he’s back for good when our schedules actually align (mine are too unsociable in my profession currently).

[Danny_dan92]

Thank you for your help

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome. Good luck with it.

[MindYourEyes]

Sounds like toxic overall. Sometimes passion isn’t enough. Seems like not very well balanced. That’s rough though. Real real rough. Don’t fall back into the repeating cycle Danny. Kind of like your testing ground in the relationship department. So be aware!

[Hamsteroids]

Nah. Fuck that. She’s toxic and you seem to recognize that. Always trust your gut and if you broke up before, it was for a reason. You shouldn’t be in a relationship where you’re always confused or wondering where your partner’s feelings stand or what their intentions are. Everyone deserves to feel safe and secure with the person they’re with. So if it were ME, I’d stop fuckin with her. I have too much pride to run back to a dude that put me through hell. And yeah, I’d block em too. Idgaf

[Danny_dan92]

Thank you for taking the time to read that.

Yeah she is, she admitted to me that she is needy and needs a boyfriend at all times.

If she was honestly not talking to any guys but me while saying things like she misses me like crazy and still loves me then that would be a different story.

But it’s as if she’s trying to live two lives for now until she finds a replacement. Very fucked up in my opinion

[Hamsteroids]

Yeah she’s the type of person that just can’t be single. I have a couple friends like that and ughhh it’s just icky. Like how can you fuckin bounce around like that? I need a lot of time to bond and get to know a guy. Most of the boyfriends I’ve ever had were guys I’ve known for a long time. So yeah, she’s no good. She’s wishy washy af. And sounds manipulative. That shits ugly

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah no kidding.

She just barely turned 21 and her body count is 21.

It’s disgusting..

You’re definitely not wrong

[Hamsteroids]

Hopefully you drop her altogether. Blocking her wouldn’t be a bad idea lol

[Danny_dan92]

I’m trying to drop her honestly. It’s her random “I miss you” and “I love you” texts that resets the bs

Cause then I tell her to stop and an argument starts cause I get mad at her whining after I tell her so

[Hamsteroids]

Why are you even entertaining the behavior. Just because she says she loves or misses you, that doesn’t mean it’s true lol it’s manipulative and you know it. That shit would piss me off and turn me off so bad. I wouldn’t want any extra drama in my life

[Danny_dan92]

No I’m not, that’s why today I called her out on her bs and told her she needs to grow up and stop the bs lies

[Hamsteroids]

Yeah dude, find yourself a real woman. That’s juvenile lol

[Curlybrunette111]

I’m reading this and I just sense her having narcissistic features according how you described your relationship with her and so on. And after doing such nasty things for you, and coming back saying she misses you (and all that bs), just shows how she plays with you. You on the other hand sound mature that you don’t block her but I’m sure it’s getting on nerves what she’s doing. So you’re totally right :)

[Hhhyv666]

Honestly, you are too good for her. Hopefully you can find a better one :)

And blocking her might seems good thing to do anyway, or else you need to train your mind to ignore that feeling when she texts you

[Liz_thorne]

It seems like she's playing with your feelings and that's toxic, manipulative behavior. If I was you I'd try to completely eject her from my life. Even if that means blocking.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah. If it gets out of control I have that block button on standby

[Liz_thorne]

People always say blocking someone is childish but I think it only is that way if it's out of petty reasons. If it's for your own peace of mind, they'res nothing childish about it. 20 years ago it wasn't so easy to contact someone and sometimes that distance is just what you need.

[Danny_dan92]

Yes exactly lol

[HOAAH]

You would be right not to take her back, especially if there is a track record of cheating and using you just for sex.

[Anonymous]

It reminds me of a fallout I had with a childhood friend several months ago

[EmbraceThePain]

Pick your women better brother.

[Danny_dan92]

I’m working on it

[Bluerosey_08]

Awww I am so sorry to hear this. :(

[Danny_dan92]

It’s ok. I appreciate your sympathy

[Bluerosey_08]

No problem!