Contacting ex on his birthday?

[Anonymous]

I broke up with him four months ago.He was a great guy. We got along pretty well. There wasn't any fighting or cheating going on. It was bad timing for me. We have had no contact for three months now. He said we could be friends and that he would always be there for me, but he never once initiated contact after the break up. I had initiated breaking up before, so I understand now he was sick of it. His birthday is coming up soon and I don't want to ignore him on that day. I do care a lot about him, but never fully opened up to him the way I wish I could've.

Just wondering if I should contact him on his birthday and if it should be a call/text/email? I really want to talk to him and tell him everything I wanted to say at the end, but I'm not sure if this would be a good time to do so. I just don't want this to ruin the chance of possibly talking to him in the future.

Thanks!

Updates

+1 y

I'm thinking I may just leave him alone. I don't want to ignore him, but I also don't want to ruin his birthday.

[Anonymous]

Just message him and say "Happy birthday *name*, hope you have a great day!" putting in the name makes it more personal. I've recieved the casual "happy birthday" and I read it and I'm like really? after all that, that's all I get? Plus if you are dumped most people will restrain themselfves from making contact, but are usually dying for the dumper to contact them. Also you honnestly have nothing too loose and you are showing you are the bigger person and your not still wound up about whatever happened between you. If he replies even with a "thanks" ask him how his been, to start convo to express your feelings. If he doesn't reply just leave things the way they are because he is not ready to open old wounds.

[Asker]

I guess I'm just scared that he won't respond to any form of communication.

Do you think calling would be a bad idea? I'm getting "just send him a text wishing him a Happy Birthday" or "call him and see how that goes" from friends. I'm just worried I'm going to go silent and not know what I should talk about. Then I think texting is going to go bad because that ruined our ending. I don't want to ruin a possible friendship in the future.

[Opinion Owner]

It's hard to say, it really depends on what you did more in the relationship.. if you guys called each other most the time then yeah probs call but if you just texted then a phone call can be a bit awkward! The only other thing is say happy birthday (by text) then 2 days later say how was your birthday bla bla.. because I know on my birthday I just want to have fun and bringing up past problems would ruin it.

[Asker]

Yeah. I have been thinking I may just leave him alone. I didn't want to ignore his day, but I think it's only going to make him think to much about it. I don't want to ruin his birthday.

[helpmeeee]

yeah why not? you can greet him then give him a message of how much you care about him the way a friend would. I think that's really nice of you :) let him know that you still care.

however, I think you should just text/chat/call him when the day of his birthday is about to end so that you won't ruin his day (well it can ruin his day you know you're his ex and he might not be over you..) let it be like a happy birthday and good night note :)

[girl_power111]

well it would be really weird if you suddenly one day call him after 4 months and start having a discussion on why things didn't work out...how you feel for him etc etc. just wish him happy birthday...talk to him normally like you would to a friend...ask him to call you back when he was free. then if you both start talking a little more regularly than now then you can initiate this discussion

[Asker]

Are you saying have him call me back when he's free at the end of our conversation or if he doesn't answer when I call?

I'm kinda worried he won't call back if he doesn't answer the phone. I also might get stuck trying to get the conversation going and then end it. Should I wait for him to end the phone call or should I do that?

[girl_power111]

well...ok... what you can do is ...u can message on his birthday...a simple happy birthday. how are you ..etc. if he replies then very good. even if he does not you can try your luck by calling him after 2-3 days of his birthday. it would be a little awkward but you have to break the ice somehow. just aks him what he was up to for these 4months... etc etc. if he doesn't not take the call then don't call him again.

[lecavlier]

Just send him a text saying " happy birthday! :)", what else do you want to tell him? I don't think you should bring up the past, but that's just my opinion. just catch up with him be cool with everything, good luck :).