Over ex or not?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy for nearly three months now and two months before we started talking he got out of an 8 year relationship because his ex cheated , he did admit to liking me and his been putting in a lot of effort every single day and showing interest but I'm not sure if his ready to even move on being recently single and after such a long time, they literally still play mommy and daddy with their dogs and their friend groups are the same and what not, am I perhaps just a rebound or is it possible for somebody to get over someone so quickly after such a long time? Any advice would really be appreciated, thanks in advance

Updates

4 mo

Would it be appropriate to bring this up or would it be out of line since we're not even yet dating?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a pretty complicated situation you've got there, girl. Sounds like this guy you've been talking to has been through a lot with his ex. An 8 year relationship is no joke, and finding out she cheated on him must have been super messed up. I can see why you're feeling unsure if he's really ready to move on so quickly.

It's tricky, because some people can bounce back from a long-term relationship really fast, especially if the trust was broken. But other people need way more time to heal and get over that kind of heartbreak. And with them still being so intertwined with the same friends and stuff, that's gotta make it harder for him to fully move on.

Honestly, I think you're being really smart to take it slow and see how things progress. Don't rush into anything too serious right away, you know? Keep an eye out for any signs that he's still hung up on his ex. And make sure you're protecting your own heart too - the last thing you want is to end up as a rebound.

My advice would be to just let things unfold naturally. Keep communication open, be honest about your concerns, and see if he's really ready to commit to something new. It might take time, but if he's truly into you, he'll show it. Just go with your gut instinct, girl. Wishing you the best of luck with this one!

[Asker]

Thank you 💖

[Anonymous]

I also played “mommy and daddy” for our dog with my ex even after we broke up (6+ years relationship). It’s basically kinda like co-parenting in a way. I personally had 0 feelings for my ex and was just playing along so that he’ll let me see the dog. He on the other hand, clearly haven’t moved on. I had to make the sacrifice of letting my dog go in order to move forward with my new relationship because my ex was using the dog to keep me around.

So based on personal experience, it is possible that your guy could have already moved on but is still entertaining his ex for the sake of the dog. I think you need to have a serious discussion with him, ask him where he sees this going but make sure to tell him that you don’t want to rush into anything because you don’t want any shadows of the past tagging along into the relationship.

[Asker]

That's really helpful thank you 💖

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck ❤️ Be sure to take it slow and keep the communication very transparent

[Asker]

I appreciate that thanks💖 won't too much transparency look bad though like insecure or so

[Opinion Owner]

It’s important to be transparent and open with communication. Tell him that you’re just trying to understand his situation/perspective rather than asking him questions about his ex. Also talk to him about your expectations and what you want out of this then ask him what his expectations are.

[Asker]

Sounds easy enough thank you once again 💖

[Opinion Owner]

Yep! Just gotta choose your wordings when you do talk to him. Best of luck xx

[Nikki1989]

While it's possible for someone to move on quickly, it's also possible that he might still be emotionally attached to his ex-partner. Hard to say for sure.

[Asker]

Thank you 💖