Is there any way to beat a psychopath at his own game? has anyone else dated a psychopath / sociopath?

[Anonymous]

Just realized I've been dating a psychopath. The only one thing that was good about him was sex. He vanished for a week and now making contact. I understand this is the hoovering stage as he wants to remain control.

Cease contact is probably the best bet as they fuel on people's emotions. Just curious if there are ways to beat them at their own games?

here's sign you are dating a psychopath https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/07/dating-a-psychopath_n_4378946.html

[jen80]

Unfortunately I married young and stupid... to a sociopath. Your absolute best bet is to run for the hills and never look back. There is no beating them at their own game unless you can think like them and feel no empathy for hurting someone. To be truthful, he probably wouldn't even notice if you beat him at his own game, he'd twist it in his head to imagine it's something else or worse, try to get back at you. Leaving my now ex was a disaster and these people enjoy revenge and don't feel things like normal people. Avoid him like the plague and pretend you never met him, that'll be more of a strike to his ego than anything.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear about that but now you are free and your experience makes you wiser and stronger.

Ok so ignoring him is the best slap to his ego. Just curious if your ex ended up stalking you or harassing you cos his ego can't handle that'?

[jen80]

Thank you so much, I appreciate that! Freedom feels good. :)
Yes absolutely a big strike to the ego. Unfortunately, depending on their level of investment to you and how many other options he's got, he may get a little 'crazy' on you. My ex got violent and very aggressive, and all kinds of stalker like behavior. (physically violent, breaking into my house, stalking...) Be prepared for it just in case, but I hope this guy just walks away and you don't have to deal with that! Better to be prepared and safe though. I wish the best of luck to you!!! And don't make the mistake I made and think at any point you're being dramatic or over-reacting, they really are capable of more than what you may believe.

[Asker]

They totally know how to turn it back at you, they make it look like YOU are the one going crazy. My ex who was also a psychologist did that to me. I really thought I was going crazy and went to dr. Dr pointed out this is his manipulation technique and i called him out on that he backed off a bit.. then he tried again I told him if he doesn't stop contacting me I will report him, thats when he stopped contacting me.

About this new guy only 4 dates I guess he is not as invested..

[jen80]

They really do! It's remarkable how well they play those mind games and manipulate. That's great it's only been 4 dates, I would think he'd probably disappear pretty easily at this point.
Good for you, by the way, for recognizing the red flags and nipping it right off the bat!

[Asker]

He probably is just texting me for ego stroke. The only thing I miss with him is sex LOL. Thanks for that article now I know those connections were feign cos he mirror my emotions and interest.. I did think something is wrong when he didn't seem to know what he was talking about at times...

The 4 date guy is also a psychologist, I kinda knew he would be trouble but didn't want to discriminate someone for his profession.. he is not abusive like my ex. He came off as very very gentle guy. I knew hs is into something wild cos he would let things slip out of his mouth at times.. it's sad that tey have no emotions.. and they need thrill of the case / hunt / breaking rules to feel happy.

[jen80]

Yeah it really is sad to watch. My ex was amazing in bed too! haha That's probably what roped me in and kept me so long... what is up with that? They are SUCH experts at mirroring and it carries over into the bedroom? I don't know but man... I still miss that sex sometimes. haha

[Asker]

The first one was bad in bed he was all about himself. The 4 dates one he went out of his way to please me. Of coures he jsut wanted to get me hooked. They are good cos they just have excess level of testosterone. And thoese intense eye contacts... mmm should I say preying eyes.. LOl damn why am I giving him compliment. ok lets put it this way. we used them and we got away. we won :P

[jen80]

Haha!! Ohh man the eyes... ;) Yes, I like that perspective, we won!! ha

[Asker]

Funny thing is my friend told me to just use him for sex LOL I'm like mm is that possible? I mean now that I know he is a psychopath / sociopath my heart is not invested anymore... just afraid he will use me in other ways

[dragonfly6516]

Who's the psychopath? This is so petty and childish. Why would you want to waste your time trying to hurt someone who literally doesn't care? You're giving him your time and attention. He wins. Just get away from him before he makes you crazy too. Unless you're just stupid, because that's on you.

[Bards]

Dump them and disappear on them? Not give them an explanation.

[Asker]

he disappeared on me, I never reached out and now he is contacting me... I wish i realize he was psychopath earlier...

[Bards]

Don't answer him. Just move on. :/

[Asker]

ok Should I unfreidn mutual friends too? or just leave them there? I wish I saw that article earlier... I always knew something was wrong

[Bards]

No keep the friends. :s

[notverycreativeguy]

I didn't know I was considered a psychopath by the Huffington Post.

[Anonymous]

Psychopaths are great in bed. Keep him around for sex LOL

[fearful]

Start talking to him again and then suddenly drop him

[Asker]

have you tried that?

[fearful]

Yes, I don't meet him in general so blocking him meant no contact at all

[Asker]

I only went on 4 dates with him, I let him know a bit too much.. he knows where I work, my gym and of course he's been to my place. I hope nothing back fires?

[fearful]

Depends on how aggressive he is, so be careful. Next time don't let people you don't know, know anything about your home, maybe just the general area of where you live just to make plans but not your exact house. Work is not too bad as they would want to know and I doubt you'll be alone there. But seriously be a bit more secretive next time.

[Asker]

He took me to his friends right after meeting. So When I felt trusted I trusted him in return.. Also I felt such connection.. of cousre he has no real identity he mirrored me that's why I felt it.. oh well lesson learnt... Physcially he is not stronger than I am. So I don't think he will hur tme physcially.. I'm more worry about him spreading rumors or other forms to harrass me..

[fearful]

What kind of rumours would he have evidence to support?

[Asker]

True... I'm just afraid he will go around and tell people we had sex or some sort

[fearful]

If that would really affect you just leave it

[Onyx277]

Yeah I wouldn't touch it. I would run as fast as you can. Just cut off contact and leave.

[JaRosevelt]

Moving on would be a great way to beat him at his own game. Move on and DO NOT LOOK BACK! When he calls ask him who is this?

[Asker]

no calls yet.. just text

[Klaatu51]

nooooooo i'd just run away :-|

[Asker]

I'm sure he is already onto his next victim.. he vanished for over a week and reappeared.. it's only through text no calls..

[Anonymous]

It's not a game, they need help.

[Asker]

Dated 2.. both are psychologist...

[Opinion Owner]

People that work in IT can have computer issues too.

[fearful]

Lol good answer

[Anonymous]

Guess I'm 1/3 psycho for treating a lady right.

[Anonymous]

ur such a liar