I like dating older women who are in their 30s but most of them just refuse to date someone younger. I'm part owner of a business, have my own place and car so its not like everyone my age are immature and incompetent. I dated someone in their early 30s and she just couldn't get over the fact that i was younger (at first she thought i was the same age as her)
I get approached by younger guys because I look significantly younger than I am (not bragging, there are plusses and minuses to it, and the biggest plus is it helps me avoid ageism in my career, not anything to do with attractiveness). Personally, I find younger men have a totally different mindset when it comes to what's appropriate in everything about dating to the extent that I've experienced them, which has mainly been related to their approach style, what kinds of date activities/locations they suggest and how they think/talk about sex. I don't think of it in terms of maturity so much as... it's almost like dating someone from a different culture. There are significant differences, and I don't care for them.
You had an older woman go out with you and not be able to get over the age difference, but I can't even get past the approach because it's so different from what older men do and it's unattractive. I don't mean to be offensive, but I'm trying to help you... I just find younger men to be less respectful in how they approach women, and they come off as not having been taught the x's and o's about how you approach women, how you compliment women properly, where you take women on dates, when sex should be on the table or discussed, etc. There's less class and seasoning to how young men step to women. And I'm not saying you, because I don't know how/what you do. But with the younger guys who have approached me, the way they approach gives zero reason to want to say yes.
Now, if I ever got past that stage with a guy, then, yes, the age difference would feel uncomfortable, although with my looking younger no one who didn't know us would notice. But unless you were a 26-yr old who acts 46 and *enjoys things 46-yr olds enjoy*, I can't see myself with someone your age because I have always acted 10+ years older than I am, related more to older people, etc. It goes back to what I said about it being very similar to dating outside your culture. Some people want a "new/different experience" while others want what they relate to.
I can definitely see how an older woman feels about this. I don't know why a lot of young guys approach women the way they do either. I think they must of approached trashy women like that before and it worked so they think it works for all women when it doesn't. Or maybe they're just hoping it'll work or they're not taking it seriously. I think younger man/older woman relationships can definitely have something special behind it even more than older man/younger woman but there's so many differences and mixed emotions about it that it makes it difficult.
in my opinion younger guys are childish and tend to be more insecure about themselves than older guys. for example is i tell a guy who is 20 that i had sex with 4 girls and 3 guys in most cases he will become someway aggressive and label me as a slut or as someone who tend to cheat ( never did that tho) if i tell a guy who is 30 the same thing he will ask me what i preferred, how it was different from having it with a girl or a guy etc. but he tends not to get aggressive because mostly this men aren't as insecure about themselves and therefore won't get in a defensive mode compared to younger guys.
Most women during that age think of guys in their 20s as boys, it happens to me also, im 28 and if somebody who is 20 - 22 approaches me i feel like i'm talking to my little brother, i don't care about him being rich or independent or NOT, this does not matter to me, but it's just... that FEELING of dating a younger guy, especially THAT YOUNG, my boyfriend is 1 year younger than me, BUT THIS IS IT, I would not go younger to be honest.
honestly I'm only 28 and I'm already cautious of dating guys under 30 because they're more likely to be interested in flings, I'm not saying that I'd reject someone purely because of thier age but it's in the back of my mind, that may be what's going on here, especially if they don't have children yet, they don't have time to mess around
Don't sweat it- different women have different preferences and some women that age will be happy to date you- just make it clear you want a long-term relationship because at that age they are usually interested in settling down.
i've had the same experience, i just think its instinctual like even if you have your shit together they think younger equates to less able to provide or protect them. Don't take it personally man, thats life.
Because in our 30s, we really want the relationship to go somewhere. I'm madly in love with a guy 5 years younger than me and it hurts that I can't show him how I feel because a guy's prime last way longer into his early 40s, maybe even 50s, and a woman's prime last till her mid 30s, and even if he likes me back now, he is swimming in options for the next 10 years of his life, I don't want to set myself up for heartbreak with someone who has disproportionately more options than me for a much longer time.
Honestly, I think society has a big influence on that. Girls are typically raised to be attracted to someone older and "more mature." I'm personally attracted to older guys because they seem to have their life more together than me. I like knowing they've already gone through stages I have faced/currently face and they know how to handle it. It's the whole feeling safe and protected thing females tend to desire, and it's the weirdest thing, I swear.
A lot of women around that age will probably assume that younger guys are not interested in settling down and having kids. They want someone who will stick around. You just have to prove them you will.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I dated a younger guy and he didn't know what he wanted career wise, didn't have his own place, wasn't very mature (wanted to party all the time, spent all his money when he got paid instead of investing it or saving it) and was not as experienced relationship wise and sexually. You're probably rare to have it all figured out in your 20s but I didn't meet a lot of guys like you.
Because older women who are single are looking for a life long relationship. They're probably looking for the guy they're going to marry. They don't wanna waist their time with young guys because they want a serious relationship.
go a bit older. like 40. they go crazy after younger guys, cause they finally realized that sex is awesome and they didn't fuck enough when they were young ^^
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Age is nothing but a number. There are people who are in their 20s more mature than people who are in there 30's. There are people who are in their 40's who are unstable. If they don't want to date you, owell... Leave judgmental people where they belong. You will find the right one eventually!
I'm 25 and have dated a guy who was 22. He wad still in school and lived with his mom... so...
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Speaking as someone in there 20s most people don't have things fingered out as much. So if some one in there 30-40s is dating someone in there 20s it's often for sex.
I think most people like dating people in their fertility years, even though they say they don't want children.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
because they think younger men are immature. my mom is a year older than my dad. he wasn't mature when he was young, but she still chose him, supposedly because i was on the way..
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
because we don't want to die first if we get married.
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