Guys, Boyfriend insists on sharing a bathroom? Why?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend & I are moving in together and have been dating for about a year and a half. He's 24 and I'm 21. He's the first guy I fell for and we always have so much fun when we're together. He can make me laugh under any circumstances and he understands me on a much deeper level than anyone else.

We recently decided to move in together and we're house hunting right now because we need to find a place that's big enough for both of us. Some houses have been nearly perfect but there's just one problem: only one bathroom. That's one of my biggest deal breakers because I don't like the idea of sharing a bathroom with him because that's just super embarrassing.

He asked me why I said no to the last house we saw and when I explained my reasoning he was like "But that's the whole point. Living together is gonna make us closer together & that includes bathroom stuff." He was like "You haven't done anything human around me and it's gonna have to be something you get used to" referring to the fact that I don't burp, fart or poop when I know he's around lol.

He always jokes around saying I'm too "prim and proper" when it comes to bodily functions but it's just who I am! I would sooner jump off a bridge than have him hear any bodily noises! Why is he so insistent on sharing a bathroom? Does he not get that I am easily embarrassed by these things? Lol

Updates

+1 y

Hey Everyone! So I appreciate all your answers and comments & I've decided it's not that big of a deal to share a bathroom lol :) It makes no sense to give up an almost perfect house because of that small requirement that's missing. I don't know how comfortable I am with the idea but I'll just deal with it when the time comes. Plus we have so many places to pick from now aha :P Thanks!

[Dim1213]

Well cause he does not find it a hang up and you really do. He likes the houses but you finding a flaw just cause of one bathroom.

Also don't worry you or he will break the fart barrier sometime together. Just wait until your married pregnant and sick with him taking care of you then he will really hear some nasty bodily noises. From both ends :)

[Asker]

Well thanks for your advice :) I hope it's something I get used to because honestly he has no problem with it aha but I keep resisting because I like being cute in front of him and bodily functions aren't too cute aha :)

[Blueberry_Spicehead]

You two can't possibly have a life together and never hear each other's bodily functions at some point, it just can't happen. You will need to get over this embarrassment at some point or other or you can never functionally/happily live in the same place.

[Asker]

I think I can learn to loosen up a little but I know a lot of couples who haven't heard each other's bodily functions and have been living together for years lol :) Plus he does it in front of me so he's obviously comfortable around me but I just can't for whatever reason ahaha :)

[Blueberry_Spicehead]

It's one thing to keep them discreet and subtle as just walking around farting is not polite, but I can't imagine being able to stay with and grow old with a girl who actively avoids pooping in a shared bathroom and needs her own. I guess You can make it work but it would take a great deal of effort, and cost you more money in bathrooms, to hide every sound from somebody for the rest of your life.

[Asker]

You're right that it's hard work to keep up that image but to me it's worth it because I want to always be attractive to him. Sometimes couples get too comfortable around each other & eventually the spark between them goes away (in my opinion) :) There are a few exceptions like if one of us gets sick & it's unavoidable but never deliberately or on purpose :) Every couple is different I guess aha :)

[Blueberry_Spicehead]

he knows you poop so you keeping that fact well removed from him is not you going to make you more or less attractive. Not to say, of course, that he should be in the same room as you while pooping.

[Kuraj]

They don't put 2 bathrooms to just any house, to normal people that only really makes sense in a multi-generation house.

Don't expect to see that in anything less than a 4 beedroom house/flat.
So it sounds like a pretty stupid reason to overpay for your place.

[Kuraj]

And even if you manage to find one in a 2 bedroom apartment or something, that will be like 150 sq ft tacked on which will equal about 25% higher price/rent.

[Asker]

Hmmm you're crushing my idea of the perfect house lol :( I guess I'll have to eventually get used to sharing a bathroom with my boyfriend or can just get sneaky about it and use it when he's not there aha :P

[TripleAce]

I dont get it
Your buying a house together but feel it's too personal to share a bathroom

Lol like what in the hell --> clear sign you're moving too fast lol is your relationship actually ready to move in then?

[Asker]

I don't see what one has to do with the other lol. We obviously know each other through and through but my only condition is having separate bathrooms because I'm weird like that. Everyone has something they're shy about and that's what it is for me ahaha :) I don't know what it is but I'm like super awkward about stuff like that and he knows it lol :P

[TripleAce]

You don't see how one has to do with other lol... wow
It's ok to have separate washrooms for functionality

So if a couple isn't ready to sleep in the same bed, should they live together? Lol I mean it's the same idea

[Asker]

What? Lol :) That's completely different and they shouldn't be put in the same category aha :)

[TripleAce]

Wow you are so lost lol... no wonder people make such crazy decisions
separate bathrooms for functionality and luxuary is what we hear but not for your reasons - that sounds more like a relationship that just started... and buy a house so fast when you can't even share a washroom - is just a little unsettling lol

[Asker]

I was talking about the comment you made about a couple who isn't ready to sleep in the same bed... Anyway, I'm just saying it's a matter of preference and doesn't make them any less ready to move in together

[TripleAce]

Ok so apply that logic to a different situation... same logic of preference

Now what if he said he prefers to sleep alone cause he's not comfortable having his boner press up against your butt lol...
Same logic dear... are they ready to move in together? Lol

[Asker]

I can't say I understand your line of reasoning but maybe I'm looking at it from a different perspective :) Every couple that lives together will not follow the same guidelines and will not have the same comfort levels. I'm sure that my boyfriend has things he doesn't wanna do in our relationship and we'll deal with it when the time comes. One situation should not dictate a couple's readiness to move in together... The point of a relationship is to trust each other and love someone despite their flaws (which takes time). Maybe I'm not all the way there yet but I know we'll eventually reach that stage

[TripleAce]

Most people live together before buying a house lol
That's all I mean... a house is the next step once you've already lived together cause you can't just wake up one morning and say no more house

[TripleAce]

If you don't understand the reasoning then it makes sense why you feel it's normal lol... but I wouldn't particularly feel secure buying a house with a girl that isn't ready to fully commit to house living lol... that just seems backwards

[TripleAce]

But it's not a big deal... it's just an indication that other things might be too fast too BUT if you say it's perfecto then I believe you

How long have you been dating for?

[Asker]

Oh I see what you mean lol but we practically live together now anyway (spending several nights at each other's apartments) so it doesn't seem like that big of a leap for us. But we have always done things a little backwards so we don't always take the normal route aha :P We've been dating for a year and a half but were friends for about 4 months before that :) So almost two years altogether

[Rocherd]

Hun he is planning on the long haul, over time there is not one bodly function you will have him running out the door. He is going to be exposed to it sooner or later, get confie.

[Asker]

Awww, liked your answer! Thanks! :)

[Anon85]

I'm the same way lol. He just sees things differently

[Asker]

Everyone is commenting that this means we're not ready to move in together but I disagree so hard lol :) It just means we value our privacy a little more than normal aha

[Anon85]

Exactly. Good luck on that house-hunting by the way

[cancan73]

If you can't share a bathroom you shouldn't share a house.
What do you do when you stay In a hotel?
Get separate rooms or only book at hotels that have a double ensuite option

[Asker]

But I don't see what the big deal is lol :) A lot of houses have two bathrooms and it really doesn't make a difference to him either way aha. Well we've stayed at hotels before with only one bathroom and it was fine because I knew it would only be for a few nights (not permanent like a house) aha :)

[cancan73]

I have more than 1 bathroom I only use 1 so I don't have to clean the others
But if I have someone stay over I don't assign them a bathroom
If your downstairs you use that one if your upstairs you use the ensuite
If you make a stink then open the window

[cancan73]

You could always find a place that you could extend

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I'm sure he gets that you're embarrassed, but also thinks it's something you're better off dealing with than indulging in and I'd agree.

[Asker]

So how would you deal with a girlfriend who is really shy/self-conscious about you hearing her bodily functions? Lol :) I can tell he's trying to make me feel more comfortable since we're passed the one year mark but I don't know lol

[AllThatSweetJazz]

I'd say if you move into a one bathroom place then it'll work itself out. Just do it.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm starting to see that I'm being a bit ridiculous about it aha :)

[madgoat]

Perhaps he'd feel left out of a part of your life, even if it's a less desirable part.

[Asker]

Yeah, he's always encouraging me to fart/burp around him because he's never even heard it before lol but I just don't :P

[Anon-ymous1]

He does get it, it's just that he wants you to be comfortable around him is all. Good luck.

[Asker]

Yeah, I appreciate that he wants me comfortable :) Thanks for your answer :)

[jamieleerlk]

they think its part of it i dont agree

[Asker]

Explain please lol :)

[jamieleerlk]

think have to share everything to me thats not part