Have you ever had a crush on someone you knew you would not/could not date? How do you handle this situation?

[Anonymous]

have you ever had a crush on someone you knew you can’t be with? how did you handle that situation?

For example, in my case it is my friends ex, so I feel I cannot date them because of that. It is difficult to like someone but feel like you have to ignore it

[Anonymous]

I did, many many many times. Especially when I was younger. I was always the shy nerdy girl, and I always fell for the popular guys. I didn't have the courage to even say hi to them, so I'll just wait for the crush to fade. Sometimes it took weeks, other times months, and even years. As I grew, I fell for a married man at my office. Of course there was no way I was going to tell him anything, I'm not a homewrecker. I tried to avoid him as much as possible, and kept the relationship strictly professional. When you don't act on the crush, and don't try to suppress it, it eventually goes away. The trick is not to obsess about it. Where attention goes, energy flows.

[bubblegunnn]

Ofc.. just being him secret admirer til my feelings r gone.. lol pathetic

[SnowedIn]

I don't think pathetic.

[bubblegunnn]

It is pathetic bro, keep the feeling sealed..

[SnowedIn]

Absolutely yes. It's crushing (pun intended). But you move forward. One activity, one day at a time. Every step takes you infitesimally slowly towards not hurting any more. You transition hopefully to friends and not crushing because the friendship is valuable.

In your case, though, I think you're limiting yourself with no reason. If it is the friend's ex, I think you could still have a relationship there. It would take maturity and communication with your friend, but this is not a lost cause.

[SnowedIn]

Thanks for mho

[Guy13]

Once a month…. move in to the next one and do not fixate on it

[Guy13]

Do you think crushing your friend’s ex will help or hurt you two relationships?

[Asker]

I don’t think it will help… that’s why I think it’s out of the question to date. However it is difficult because I really feel that we are a fantastic match and have so much in common more than I have with anyone I met before. It’s hard to move on :/

[Guy13]

No friendship survives dating someone else leftovers. She gets mad and eventually you are embarrassed and guilty when you discover the things that made him her EX. It is too late at that point to ever be friends again.

[Vikkrram]

It's so hard to hide ur feelings from them. You have to constantly push yourself to not to look at them , ignore them. It's too exhausting and mentally disturbing

[Anonymous]

Yes, but haven't most people? You just accept the situation and move on to the next person you mind attractive.