What are the best dating websites for me?

[Juxtapose]

I would consider myself average or above average in attractiveness but mentally I am wired differently because of autism and also I don't make a lot of money. Women obsessed with social status or money won't like me.

What would be my best bet for finding a woman? Or is my approach faulty? Should I instead get super ripped and then show myself off on various different websites in hopes that someone will bite? Or should I try the local bar? I hear online dating sucks and magnifies the problems men and women have with dating.

I'm getting older and was just not built with the intuition needed to do this on my own. Help is appreciated!

Oh and by the way.. if you come in here acting like an asshole? I'm going to treat you like one.

Updates

+1 y

I should clarify that I'm looking for a serious relationship. I can get off with my hand, I don't need hookups 🤷‍♂️

[petitedollbabee]

I don’t know what it’s like to have autism, so I’m not sure how that will effect your chances of finding someone. As for the money part, it’s not that common for women to be money hungry on dating sites, so I don’t think that’s something you’ll have to worry about.


I’ve used a lot of dating sites in the past and from a woman’s perspective, I don’t think that getting “ripped” and showing your body off will help you. I’ve always gone for the guys who have nice photos of their face, whether you’re “attractive” or not makes no difference to me, and also some photos of you doing things you enjoy will be nice, or photos of you with your pets if you have any. As for bio, don’t be one of those guys who type out “NO MONEY HUNGRY WOMEN, NO FAT WOMEN” blah blah blah. Huge turn off. Just be genuine in your self description. Your name, what you enjoy doing in your free time, your job, a fun fact about you… etc. That’s what I would look for.


As for dating sites that would be best for you, I don’t know where you’re from or what’s available for you. I’ve used Tinder, Bumble, apps like those in the past and they’re good for hookups but not really for relationships. You’ll have a hard time finding a woman on there who’s looking for something serious. I’m in New Zealand, and I used a site called “NZDating” to find my partner. So dating was literally in the name of the site. So I would recommend finding a site or app that actually has dating or relationships in the name.


And if no apps or sites work out for you, definitely try some in-person meeting. You can meet someone anywhere. Supermarkets, stores, bars, wherever. I don’t know how high or low on the spectrum you are with autism, but I’ve had 2 autistic guys in the past who’ve walked up to me in stores and asked me out on dates, and I’ve said yes. So don’t feel that your autism will hold you back. You can’t succeed if you never try.

[Juxtapose]

Wow thanks for the detailed response!

I won't type like a caveman or be a raging misogynist. I am from the USA and my autism is on the higher functioning end.

I do like going out in nature but I don't have any pictures of that, I'll have to get some. I know a nice trail nearby I could use to milk some pictures out.

[itsalyssaagain]

I think you just need to put yourself out there and date. That’s it. Whether it’s going to places with an intention or online dating.

[RealMarek]

I think the best approach is to describe yourself and what you’re looking for in your profile. Be clear that you are looking for a long-term relationship (no hook-ups). If your income is low but you have been consistently employed, emphasize that you are stable. Describe some important aspects of your personality, some things you enjoy doing, and some what you want in a relationship. With photos, it’s a good idea to have a good head shot where you are looking straight toward the camera, a full length picture in a nice outfit, and can be good to have a picture or two that gives hints of what you enjoy (maybe from a hike, cooking, etc.). Whatever site you use, it’s best to pay to help avoid fake accounts and to be able to communicate with the ladies. If you match with someone, I suggest keeping messages down to three or four exchanges before asking for a date. Good luck!

[Avicenna]

I've had a lot of good results with Bumble.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Anything owned by matchgroup is a scam. Anything not owned by them no one uses. if you find an exception to the latter, I'd love to know about it, as I'm having a hard time finding a girlfriend as well.

[TheSpaceGnome]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Match_Group

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Do a background check on dating sites, then take things from there.

[Juxtapose]

That's actually what I've been doing. eHarmony apparently has a credit card cancellation scam going.

[Exterminatore]

Depends if you’re just looking to get laid it for a relationship.

[Juxtapose]

I'm looking for something serious. I'm not really into casual sex with strangers, I like to feel the other person emotionally.

[Exterminatore]

It’s a bit pricy but I’d go with eharmony. I met my wife on there. We’ve been together for 4 years.

[Juxtapose]

It has pretty good reviews and statistics, the yearly plan is certainly pricey for 20 bucks a month but if it cuts time then it would certainly be worth it.

Thanks for the advice man.

[Juxtapose]

Apparently they have a cancellation scam.

[Exterminatore]

Anytime bro. Glad I could help. Don’t know about any cancelation scams.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes- get super ripped. I endorse this plan.
(I'm being serious.)

[Juxtapose]

Yeah it makes women flock to you.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ya, mon. 😎

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I don't know. I failed with all of them.

[Juxtapose]

A lot of men face the same results. I had a few messages on OkCupid but the girls were not compatible.

[Juxtapose]

(in my twenties I should clarify)

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I tried them all, at least the freebies. Friends and coworkers of mine found them on OKC, POF, Tinder, Hinge, and the VP at my job found his wife on Match during a free communication weekend. It's possible, just unlikely.

[OddBeMe]

Truth Social

[Juxtapose]

Hahaha 🤣

That actually made me laugh out loud. You have a good sense of humor.

[Juxtapose]

I know nothing about that website so I assume it's mostly political?

[OddBeMe]

Well political as in Trump c*cksuckers.

[OddBeMe]

I am worried about you though. You went all deep state on me… lol

[Juxtapose]

I wouldn't mind going deep in her state 😉