What would you do to help a depressed partner?

[Anonymous]

I’m asking this on behalf of my boyfriend. I have been falling back into depression the past couple of months, I don’t show it in front of him but he can tell that I’m not like my usual self. He notices that I’ve been a bit less present even though we can still laugh and joke about everything. He’s asked me what he can do to help but honestly, I don’t even know what I want him to do… So for those of you who have been with your partner while they were depressed. What did you do that seemed to help?

[MicahRaine]

Being open with my partner about my struggles has helped me immensely. It always warms my heart and shocks me how she always takes it seriously and loves me even through the stupid things.

Another thing that helped me is her keeping me busy. You're have an hour with nothing I have to do? Let's go for a walk. You're in bed but can't sleep/are sad? Let's video call until you fall asleep. You have no appetite? Let's make a meal together and eat it even though you aren't hungry. You need to vent? I'm right here. You need to cry? I'm right here.

Bottom line, I'm right here.

Just knowing that someone is there and cares immensely about you helps. Sometimes it worried me and made me really sad, but it also helped me snap out of it sometimes.

Also, if you ever need someone to talk to, there are plenty of people who are surprisingly kind/are great listeners (or, if you need it, good talkers). Can give you a few tentative recommendations probably. . . I'll need to open up my contacts though lol

[Asker]

Thank you, this helps a ton! A supportive and caring partner can truly do wonders in helping you get out of your depression but you’re right in pointing out that you also have to be open about what you’re struggling with. I’m glad that you have such a loving and caring girl sticking by your side, she seems like a true ride or die!

[MicahRaine]

Of course, I'm just happy I can help.

She is my ride or die :)

[Asker]

All the best to the both of you!

[MicahRaine]

Thanks, y'all as well!

[power_wolf]

take them to a doctor to get meds. duh.

[Asker]

Would meds actually help?

[power_wolf]

of course. depression is easily treatable.

[Asker]

I used to take meds and it made the problem worse because it made me lose my libido lol

[power_wolf]

then switch meds

[Asker]

I went off meds and decided to try the more “natural” remedies. Seems to be helping.

[power_wolf]

in my experience those things are all fake

[Asker]

Could be just a placebo effect tbh but I’ll take it

[power_wolf]

I think that's a mistake. modern medicine is better.

[Simslover92]

Whatever you do, don't shut down or shut him out or start to put your depression before the relationship. I did this and lost him. Get a therapist if you can and find some meds that won't mess with your libido. I am doing this now and I'm hoping he gives me another chance. I wasn't present in the relationship and he got tired of it. I would give anything to have him back.

You still have a chance. Don't lose him over your depression. Find ways to get better. Therapy and meds and exercise!

[Asker]

Yes I’ve been pushing myself to remain open hearted and not shut down. I do have a therapist but she suggested I lay off the meds because it was causing more problems lol. He gets frustrated though because he doesn’t see me getting better and now I feel pressured…

How are you doing so far though? I know the journey is though but I’m also here for you xx

[Simslover92]

Oh ok. Well that's good. Let your therapist know how you feel if you haven't already expressed it to her. Ask her how you can get better without the meds. Alternatives. I wish I had tried to do everything I could before he reached his limit but I'm hoping he takes me back seeing my progress has gotten better.

I'm hanging in there. Thank you. That means a lot.

[Asker]

What exactly was the breaking point in your relationship? Was it because you were pushing him too far away and he just couldn’t handle it anymore?

[Simslover92]

Yes pretty much.

[Asker]

I hope you can work it out again in the future, I wish you luck in your healing journey. If you need to vent, I’m all ears!!

[Simslover92]

Ok thank you so much!

[chrissykerdock]

giving a lot of blowjobs will benefit you both and i'm serious it does help bringing you out of depression just shaping your mouth to give head will make you feel happy

[Asker]

I already do that on the regular even without the depression. Our sex life is still going great, I avoided taking meds bcs it messed with my libido and I do use sex as an emotional outlet so I need my libido lol.

[chrissykerdock]

sorry i thought i read you didn't so agree it does make you feel good to do that

[Asker]

It does make me happy temporarily but it just doesn’t seem to be the cure for my depression. I still love a good fucking tho

[Anonymous]

Show him as much one-on-one support as you can. This could be life-threatening.

[Asker]

Great advice, a balance between giving them enough space and support is definitely key

[Anonymous]

Give him oral sex, I'm sure he'll feel better.

[Nikki1989]

Depression is serious, idiot.

[Asker]

I do, it doesn’t help with my depression tho

[Opinion Owner]

@Nikki1989 No, I get depressed when I miss a baseball game or when the food isn't cooked well, it's not a big deal.

[Asker]

@Nikki1989 yeah even if my boyfriend was depressed I would do so much more than just give him head 😅