How can it be that someone seems like a perfect match for you, and then they decide oh it isn't a fit?

[Anonymous]

I am just absolutely floored. I had been talking to this woman for 2 1/2 months.. texting a bit, and we've had a decent amount of video/phone calls (11 hours worth), and her schedule is hectic with a new job and a bunch of weekend commitments lately, so I made a 3 hour trip down to DC to meet her (and another one who I think turned out to have mental issues), but this one I have SO much in common with, and she basically told me at the end (after sounding ambivalent about my suggestion to make a plan to meet up soon) that she had to go with her gut and that it wasn't a fit.. she couldn't be any more specific than that. Like this is the kind of woman that is a perfect fit for me, and all of a sudden we meet in person after not an insignificant amount of talking beforehand, and that's it? She was by far my top prospect now.. Most women I will get over right away if it goes badly, but I legit cried on part of the ride home, and I am just so shocked and disappointed... like really? 36 years old now, and feels like I'll never find someone while I'm young at this rate..

[Anonymous]

Tbh I think you’re upset that things didn’t end on your terms. I mean you made that 3 hour drive to meet her and someone else, what if you had connected more with the other woman? You would’ve had to be the one rejecting and I’m sure you would’ve justified that as being part of your search for love. It’s normal to have a different connection/experience with someone than what you had on the phone, and it’s cool that she gave you the closure of transparency rather than ghosting how so many do.

[Asker]

Oh no, this one was by FAR the more likely candidate. I would've spent the whole day with her, but she just wanted to limit it to dinner, so we set aside almost 3 hours for that.. No, it's not closure.

[Opinion Owner]

You did not answer my question. You said you drove down to see her and another woman, so what would’ve happened if you clicked with the other girl more? That was a chance you drove 3 hours to take. You also wrote the exact reason she gave you as to why it’s not going to work and that’s because she didn’t think it was a good fit. Why would she have to go into excess detail and give you a full breakdown? That’s entirely unnecessary. You’re just being a big baby throwing a tantrum that you couldn’t get what you want and it’s gross.

[TrueConfection]

She must have had a different mental picture/fantasy about meeting you. Sounds like she expected something out of a Hollywood movie.

Look at it this way; whatever she isn’t telling you is probably enough to make you thankful you didn’t end up wasting more of your time.

[Avicenna]

Can be a number of reasons. Maybe she’s flaky or you were overeager. Maybe she is talking to lots of other guys. Or something else.

[Anonymous]

What’s that great about her

[Anonymous]

Get over it. Move on.