Am I A Boring Date?

[Anonymous]

So, I've been talking to this guy for over a month now. We've seen each other multiple times and text a lot.

I've always had trouble starting conversations, especially with dates. Me and him have gotten into the habit of telling each other about our days over text. Which i really like, im genuinely interested and its a familiar conversation for me. But when we are in person, he does most of the talking. Not without me trying of course, I try to think of something to talk about and voice it, but either he didn't hear me or he just wasn't interested.

Im more of a silent observer than anything and am very quiet when speaking. My voice is naturally hoarse so its hard to decipher if he hears me or wasn't interested with what I have to say.

I guess my question is, does me asking a simple question of "How was your day?" and rarely speaking in person makes me a bad date?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I guess my question is, does me asking a simple question of "How was your day?" and rarely speaking in person makes me a bad date?"

There is no way to know what each guy prefers, conversation wise, they all want different things, some are happier with deep talks, some are happier with small talks. So, you are and are not a boring date depending on one's guy preferences we know nothing about. As a consequence, I suggest you to not give a damn about how boring you could be or not, because you can't objectively know, since this is subjected to a guy's opinion, you have no control and no power on this.

In turn, I suggest you to use powers you have, because:

"its hard to decipher if he hears me or wasn't interested with what I have to say."

Here, deciphering this gives you power over the events, this will make you understand a critical point, because if he isn't interested in you, then where is the good for you in this situation?

[Summeroflove]

Well it’s not good when someone just talks over you or ignores you. Dating is about getting to know a person on a deeper level then deciding if you want to be committed or not.

I don’t know if he seems arrogant or if he seems indifferent to what you have to say. Or maybe…. You just talked too quiet or something. I don’t know. How do you feel about it?

It doesn’t make you bad if you’re investing.

[Asker]

He's not arrogant, he just has a lot to say. Our dates usually consist of being active and doing things. So going to museums, arcades, that kind of thing. I feel ignored and like my passions dont matter much. Im a writer, filmmaker, diorama builder, etc, but he doesn't ask about those things when I bring them up. Im scared that im doing something wrong, which makes no sense cause he keeps planning dates

[Summeroflove]

Just listen and when the time comes to talk. Conversation shouod happen naturally not forcefully.

But he shouoe also be asking you questions and getting to know you.

[Asker]

Yeah I know, I'll try and wait it out. He's a really good guy and I dont want to lose him

[Summeroflove]

I understand that. If all else just ask him why he never asks anything or follows up when you talk to him about it.

[queenofcardio]

Some people are not great at conversations. Why don't you guys plan activity dates and see if there's a difference. You can have conversations about the activity

[Zionne]

better to find someone who has the same vibe as you so you'll enjoy each other's company better

[Nikki1989]

Or is he the real bore here? It takes two to make a spark.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't sound like you're a very good match. A month and this is the interaction you're having. He must be pretty damn hawt for you to still be dating him.😆

[Staximus]

You have to make an attempt to interact with people

[Anonymous]

I don't know you, so I can't be sure, but I never feel bored.

[dudeinohio]

Wouldn't be a bad date to me

[Daytoday79]

Depends on what your date thinks