Polls: Dating

1 No. I just find “liking” anyone in any kind of a way other than friendship to be

Extremely stressful. I’m not good at it. it’s probably a terrible idea for us to do anything bc we did actually get along before. ALSO I’m not being coy. 🤨 I know often if someone says something negative it’s taken as coy and I’m being serious I honestly dk if this is a good idea. I’m also serious when I say I move SLOW and I don’t mean sex I just mean anything as far as getting to know each other….

☝🏼 …But that does bring me to my other concern before you interrupted me…

All I know about sex is I’m not ready for it and as far as WHEN I will be or if I will EVER be I have NO idea…

…So if that’s the ride you’re looking for you should exchange your ticket 🎫 and hop on another train 🚂—I mean that with all due respect.

I know sex is a big deal to most people and I don’t judge I just really dk if it’s gonna matter to me.

(So he def looked more surprised here -& maybe concerned not sure-than he did when I said “it takes me a long time to talk” & he kind of paused…then asked)

2 Sooo is that like you HATE it orrrr you just never found out? 👀

1 🤔 Fair question I suppose but it doesn’t really impact the fact I’m not in any rush. Anyhow the latter.

(He looked a bit more relaxed which honestly bothered me but on the other hand, I am the one who brought it up so I can’t fault him for reacting and we are not in a Disney cartoon so I can’t expect him to not care about sex)

(Getting over my discomfort bc it was all fair his reaction, but I guess I did not know what to say)

1 I do know I do not want to date someone who’s is having sex with other people 🤢

(He looked kind of feeling accused)

1. Oh lol no ! I don’t necessarily think that’s what you’re saying. I’m only raising it bc I USED to think it was a GOOD solution a perfect one. Like I can date whomever and never have to worry about sex! And now I don’t think it’s such a good idea.👀

CONTINUED*

I am p1 he is p2

2 What is wrong? 😐

1 I guess I feel weird bc I took something that was honest and worried about the implications, even tho I AM usually the one who hates it when People read into stuff and I like it when people are honest so I was bothered by my reaction.

2 I forgive you 

(So I laughed but then I was still concerned he’d think I thought it was significant for some other reason so I re explained I was just caught off guard.)

2 I understand. We can start Over & just be clear.

(So then I was silent)

2 Soooo what are you thinking?

1 I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 You don’t know what you are thinking?

1 I don't know what to say 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 what do you want to say

1 I don't know 😂

2 Where does this leave us?🙂

1 I don't know

2 Can you say something other than “idk” —even if you need a few minutes 😆

(So I thought. Which was awkward bc it’s like he’s waiting so I turned around not facing him and thought)

( after I thought)

1 So… I like you, somewhat. 🧐

2 Thank you 😜 uhh sorry you are supposed to be talking 🤫

(So I continued…)

🤔 So I like you in some kind of way, and I _think_ I’d like to get to know you better, but I’m not ready to “date” and I take a LOOOONG time to adjust. It’s been an issue in the past. It isn’t personal it’s just how I am. If I do not want to hang out all it’s bc of how much time I need to decompress it’s not necessarily bc I do not like someone.

2 Can I ask a question?

1 OK but I’m not finished ☝🏼

2 Noted 🤓 Do I stresses you out?

1 No. that’s why I said “it’s not personal”

2 Oh yeah no I know, I know I heard you.

But I’m wondering other than that. Do I _personally_ stress you out.. bc i was kind of shocked at how quiet you were the last time we spent time together, compared to when we used to talk at the library.

CONTINUED*

I’m person 1 he’s person 2

We want for a walk, it got cold & I didn’t want to go anywhere that costs anything so we went to his place and Listened to his collection of Ukrainian folk music on records which was cool I already knew bc we talked about It in the library.

We were there for a few hours then it got quiet And when I felt like he was gonna kiss me I said:

1 you can’t kiss me 🚫

2 uhh ok 😐

2…. for the record you have permission to kiss me 😉

So we both laughed. (Then I was going to try to explain my situation but I couldn’t sort it out so just showed him the post)

1 I was having difficulty sorting the situation out ethically and I asked people did advice bc I didn’t want to do the wrong & I have such little experience and strong tendency to avoid doing anything and so I don’t feel like I was able to rely on my own wisdom even tho I think generally, im fairly wise relatively. I asked for advice bc I didn’t want to treat anyone Badly.

(He was a bit surprised how he ended up coming off to me tho & hasn’t considered how odd it might come off to me bc he’s dated a lot of people and it’s sort of normal to him to talk about stuff but he also wasn’t always in the U S so I don't know maybe it’s diff other places)

2 🤔 You don’t seem flirty or anything kinda opposite really , so I didn’t think you were into me -or I thought you were very shy or conservative so I wasn’t expecting you to ask me out and then I guess I just assumed you were more experienced bc you asked me out... if I had known you are not really used to dating I probably would’ve approached things differently… I’m just used to sort of presenting myself as is, & whatever Happens happens

(He doesn’t mind if I give an update lol as long as no one knows him and don’t use his name he find this seeing other people thoughts amusing I guess)

So then I was silent, absorbing things and I felt a bit awkward bc it’s just normal to him so it must look crazy to him that I was concerned.

CONTINUED*

if she shared that one day she wants to get married but you two haven’t discussed being exclusive yet, what would you think?

So he’s in my class and asked me if I wanted to hang out and then we hooked up but the mornin after he asked if I was hungry and wanted to go get some breakfast. Did he ask me out?

Have you ever met someone who is good looking, not clingy, you connect, has a good sense of humour but alsoo not a fuck boy?

in china, male population is so big than the female. there's an app where guys able to rent any girl he wants.

Let’s say a lot of guys like a particular girl but he doesn’t find her super attractive. Why does that boost his ego?

A) it boosts your ego because other guys find her attractive even if you dont

B) it boosts your ego not because other guys find her attractive but becuase it’s an ego boost when any girl likes you

C) it doesn’t boost your ego since you don’t find her attractive in the first place

The guy I’ve been casually dating was going out to dinner with another woman. He said there was nothing romantic going on between them. That they are just friends who get together for dinner once in a while. She stopped calling him. He told me that his lady friend stopped talking to him. I was kinda taken aback by this. To me it sounds like they were dating. Am I wrong?

On Gag?

You can post questions about strongly disliking East Asian women here and it stays up. Let's see how they feel about a White woman question.

I chatted toy guy friends and they all claim that a guy will purley have sex with a girl for that but for the girl they are actually interested in they make sure they have a decent amount of time to spend with them. So they bread crumb that girl until they are ready for a relationship with them.

Is this true?

I’m not really sure how to put this, but sone of you know I had ashes secersl questions about how you might react if someone you were seeing told you they plan to marry, you told them you do not, and they wanted to continue dating regardless. I found this odd and suspicious bc if you already know what you want and you know it’s not what the other person wants, well you either think they are not being serious or you are not being serious. That’s how I see it tho I know there’s varied opinions.

this situation confused me not just bc he said he def wants marriage but the whole way he spoke about his future plans he is not flaky and he seems kind of traditional so I don’t understand how he’s ok with a situation that doesn’t line up with his plans or values.

he wants to finish his phd and hopefully get married before his grandparents die (he’s not going to just marry anyone but he’s hoping the timing works out bc it will mean so much to them and they mean so much to him. I mean no doubt it’s super sweet it’s just…) he wants to go beck to Ukraine to get narrated have the celebration there & locate work in Europe bc he expects there will be few job opportunities in Ukraine itself and wants to be as close as possible to his family. We both have family from Ukraine but his is immediate family, mine is several generations down, so while I am Ukrainian so I’m not Ukrainian in the same way that he is.

now he’s telling me all this on basically the first time we were in a sort of date (went to the park before I went to work) we have been friendly for two years but I only asked him out a few weeks ago and bc of scheduling conflict it took us a while to get it together.

I did tell him I do not plan to marry for various reasons, he was quite in disbelief at that, also that I’m not sure what my ten year plan is. At the same time, he was very eager to see me again and as of now we will be going in a date next week. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea.

guys … do you find girls like this unattractive ….

Loud, posts on social media how they are out drinking more often than not, attention seeking type behavior… would you be interested in dating someone like this?

Note- it’s NOT me! Just curious if guys are drawn to girls like that…