Do you think he was being honest on our second date (part 2)?

[VIVANT]

I am p1 he is p2

2 What is wrong? 😐

1 I guess I feel weird bc I took something that was honest and worried about the implications, even tho I AM usually the one who hates it when People read into stuff and I like it when people are honest so I was bothered by my reaction.

2 I forgive you 

(So I laughed but then I was still concerned he’d think I thought it was significant for some other reason so I re explained I was just caught off guard.)

2 I understand. We can start Over & just be clear.

(So then I was silent)

2 Soooo what are you thinking?

1 I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 You don’t know what you are thinking?

1 I don't know what to say 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 what do you want to say

1 I don't know 😂

2 Where does this leave us?🙂

1 I don't know

2 Can you say something other than “idk” —even if you need a few minutes 😆

(So I thought. Which was awkward bc it’s like he’s waiting so I turned around not facing him and thought)

( after I thought)

1 So… I like you, somewhat. 🧐

2 Thank you 😜 uhh sorry you are supposed to be talking 🤫

(So I continued…)

🤔 So I like you in some kind of way, and I _think_ I’d like to get to know you better, but I’m not ready to “date” and I take a LOOOONG time to adjust. It’s been an issue in the past. It isn’t personal it’s just how I am. If I do not want to hang out all it’s bc of how much time I need to decompress it’s not necessarily bc I do not like someone.

2 Can I ask a question?

1 OK but I’m not finished ☝🏼

2 Noted 🤓 Do I stresses you out?

1 No. that’s why I said “it’s not personal”

2 Oh yeah no I know, I know I heard you.

But I’m wondering other than that. Do I _personally_ stress you out.. bc i was kind of shocked at how quiet you were the last time we spent time together, compared to when we used to talk at the library.

CONTINUED*

Internet pic

Yes

No

I don't know

Yes and no

Other

[Finchie40]

Most guys don’t understand a girl’s , emotional issues most girl’s assume we are mind readers when really we have no clue what she is really thinking , especially when she goes silent on us and hesitates , so yes I think he was being honest because he has no clue what you were thinking , when a girl tells us they aren’t sure if they are ready for a relationship it leaves us wondering if we are wasting our time with her or not , People don’t go on dates just because they want to be friends you go on dates to get to know each other and pretty much walk the same road of entering a relationship , so in his mind he is thinking why in the hell did she go on a date with me if she isn’t sure if she wants to get into a relationship or not? He is going to assume the worst that you don’t really like him and assume you are just trying to be nice , When a guy asks a girl on a date he is pretty
Much saying he wants to get to know her more in a intimate level he finds you attractive he wants you in his arms go the most part , If you don’t feel the same about a guy then you shouldn’tGo on a date with him , you should immediately say let’s just go as friends , when a guy hears those words from a girl he likes he more than likely won’t go out with her at all lol Nobody just wants to be friends on a date you girls need to get that shot out of your head , if he just wanted to be your friend he would invite you to a party or to hang out with everyone else , but when it comes down to one on one trust me he isn’t thinking just friendship

[Lliam]

It sounds like he's gently trying to get you to open up explain your feelings so that he can figure out where you're coming from. He obviously likes you or he wouldn't try.

I have detected nothing dishonest or manipulative. He's being respectful (not aggressive) but he also wants to draw you out in order to understand you.

I know that you struggle with the idea of intimacy and I'm proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone. You're being brave. You've also been honest with him even while struggling to find the words.

[VIVANT]

That is true it was hard and I may have overshot but I figured I’m already out so I might as well go full out while I’m there bc who knows when I’ll do that again 😅
🙏🏼

[Lliam]

It's like anything else - learning how to play a sport or a musical instrument or public speaking. You dive in and are nervous at first, but you push yourself and soon become better at it or more comfortable. You learn about yourself in the process and are sometimes amazed at what you are capable of. :-)

[VIVANT]

👍🏼 😊😊

[lightbulb27]

Well said!

[lightbulb27]

We really need videos going forward, this is on par with "Ming Dynasty" series. 🍿

You really opened up there and he was able to facilitate that without hitting an eject button or beating up your emotions... very impressive. I think he's being honest and very reasonable trying to figure out what the heck is going on. You are working through your challenges with being vulnerable and intimate. It's those damn hormones and our design for connection, what can ya do...

Well done!

Wait... what do you mean..."date"!!! Haha. welcome to dating!

P. S. maybe it's time to start, like, smoking weed (any kind of weed, maybe Sisal or mint, or juju bees, drinking or Hooka... something so you relax and just have fun... just kidding. How about date 3 you go to Take Kwon do and kick and train together?

Remember... there is no growth without some pain... it's just emotions.

[VIVANT]

@ We really need videos going forward, this is on par with "Ming Dynasty" series.

😂😂🤣😛

[VIVANT]

@ You really opened up there and he was able to facilitate that without hitting an eject button or beating up your emotions..

Do you mean you expect he’s run away? Well he dumped a lot on me the first time so maybe we’re even 😂

[VIVANT]

Hmm TKD is a good idea actually 😊😊🙏🏼

[lightbulb27]

Nope… I mean he’s hanging in there and communicating rather than reacting.

[VIVANT]

Ohh yeah good point!!

[VIVANT]

Pretty difficult to do.

[Jamie05rhs]

He should have "held onto" his question until after you were done.

But that was a minor faux pas, in my opinion. Nothing major.

Also, I know from personal experience how hard it is to hold questions when the other person is talking a lot and SAYING a lot (meaning many significant points) and they're making your brain go crazy with your own thoughts.

[VIVANT]

Fair point 😊😊

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks! 🙂

[VIVANT]

🙏🏼🙏🏼 It didn’t bother me bc in general left space for me to talk which I’m not exactly used to do it was nice 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

That's good! 👍

[Havthrills]

Still sounds like you overthink many things. Part of your nature.

[VIVANT]

No as I said I was asking to compare to what my friend was saying I actually was pretty content with the convo 😊

[Havthrills]

Nice. I'll have to catch up.

[VIVANT]

lol sure

To me life events are all like scenes in a play so I like to watch them with an audience 😂

[Sevenpointfive]

just remember you're worth it. don't settle for less

[VIVANT]

Haha thanks mate 🙏🏼

[blondfrog]

Hmmmm hard to say. I can see why he thought it was him because he mentioned how you used to be more talkative to him before dating at library. But This is also your personality so you can't help it. And you have the right to be hard to trust others.

[pizzalovershouse]

Dint I just answer this or is this a reprint

[VIVANT]

It’s 4 posts for the whole convo. I had to put it in question form so each one needed a a diff question bc gag won’t jet you do like what do you think part 1 what do you think part 2 what do you think part 3 etc etc

WISH I COULD lol 🥵

[pizzalovershouse]

Oh ok

[VIVANT]

😊😊

[TallAnon]

Nothing here seems dishonest, he's just fishing for information.

[VIVANT]

Thanks 😊

[Anonymous]

As a guy I don't see what he could possibly been lying about. In a few of our short conversations I've tried to figure you out, unsuccessfully. Not that anyone has to fully understand anyone. But the impression I got was you either didn't want to be understood. Or you don't even understand yourself. What I'm reading is he's letting you do your t hing. But you're so unassuming his trying to figure out if there's anything he can say or do that might make you feel more comfortable with him.

[Jennz6]

I don’t know, probably not

[VIVANT]

🙂🙂

[Anonymous]

not really sure

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes...