She ended up choosing him over me. Am I a jerk? Should I have said "yes"?

devin2002
Hello, everyone. I have a situation that's just been gnawing at me for the last few days. A few months ago, I became friends with a girl that I had met, and we became pretty close afterward, and as time went on, we started to have feelings for each other. However, before I was about to make a move on her, another guy came into the picture, and needless to say, she had to choose between us. In the end however, she ended up choosing him over me. Even though my feelings were hurt, I decided to be mature about the situation, and I decided to just let her go and move on.

I told her that I was happy for her and that I wished everything worked out for the best, but that I wouldn't be waiting for her if their relationship ended. I would be there to support her, but only as a friend. I thought she and I came to an understanding, but soon enough, I came to doubt that.

After they were together for several weeks, they broke up. While I don't know the reason why they broke up, I'm willing to give her ex-boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. The only thing she told me was that he decided that he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend and that their relationship wasn't going to work out as a result.

Needless to say, she came back to me, literally a day after they had broken up, and I think it's also important to point out that this was the first time she talked to me since they got together. After a few days, she asked me out, but I turned her down in spite of the feelings I still had, and still sort of have for her. To be honest, I had come to accept the fact that she liked someone else better than me, and I moved on as a result. My pride got the better of me, and I couldn't accept being her second-best choice in spite of how painful it was for me to do.

After I told her no, she was furious. She called me douche bag for turning her down, and that I was being a baby about everything. She's been ignoring me on Facebook, she hasn't returned my calls, and she won't reply to my text messages. I just want to tell her how sorry I am, and that I want to be here for her, but she won't speak to me. I miss hanging out with her, and to be honest, I still have some feelings for her.

I'm starting to think that this is all my fault, but I'm faced with a huge dilemma. I want to be with her, and I want to believe that her feelings are genuine because she's my friend, but I'm afraid of our relationship being a rebound one. When we still hung out, we always had a lot of fun together. She always managed to pick up my spirits if I was having a bad day. We came very close to kissing when went for a walk one night this summer, and we held hands the entire time! I miss her more and more each day.

I just don't know what to do. I miss our friendship dearly. I miss her to the point where she's been all I've been thinking about for the last few days.
She ended up choosing him over me. Am I a jerk? Should I have said "yes"?
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