Why do people want to be friends with benefits if they don’t plan to ever get married?

[Anonymous]

[Lliam]

When I was dating from 1970 (age 16) to 1994, there was no such term "friends with benefits". It was just called having a girlfriend/boyfriend.
People may have had varying levels of commitment. Some people may have cheated.

Looking back, my girlfriends and I fell into infatuation (the "feeling" of passionate love). We were monogamous. But for me, they may have been more like friends with benefits because I had no interested in getting married or having kids. It's not that I planned to never, ever get married. I just knew that I was too young, immature and inexperienced to be a good husband or father. I hadn't seen enough of the world and done enough.

In the meantime, I really liked girls, I loved sex, and enjoyed having a girlfriend. But I didn't just see them when I was horny. We hung out together, went places, did things and had fun together, conversed and confided in each other, and were really good friends.

It wasn't until my early 30s that I started to think I might be ready to find a life partner and settle down.

Does that make sense?

[Finchie40]

You answered your own question , FWB’s only works if both people are on the same page with things , if you aren’t on the same page than you are best to end that FWB’s all together and move on from them, because they are just using you for sex and nothing more. I only have FWB’s with girls that are on the same page as me , we both agree upon things before jumping into bed together.

[DishLady]

friends with benefits is not designed to lead to marriage. It’s just another form of casual sex. If you’re looking for marriage don’t friends with benefits because you’re giving the green light for the wrong thing and will end up frustrated and upset with the person who is ok with just friends with benefits.

[strawberrybaby3]

That’s exactly why. Because they don’t plan to get married.

[Asker]

Why do they need a friends with benefits like why can’t they be alone?

[strawberrybaby3]

How are they going to have sex consistently without a friends with benefits?

[Asker]

Because you don’t need to be having sex with random people like strangers you don’t know.

[AviatorTom]

You answered your own question. They want friends with benefits because they don't want sex in marriage. Everyone wants to have sex, our human bodies are built for that. If you're not going to be in a long-term relationship, and don't want to be a total slut, friends with benefits is the best way to go.

[Avicenna]

That actually makes sense- they want no commitment.

[Asker]

It actually doesn’t because that is not having respect for themselves what if they had a baby unexpectedly.

[b_lova]

Their definition of "respect for themselves" is different than yours. And hopefully they are doing things to keep from making a baby. A doctor fixed it so I couldn't after I had my 3rd child.

[Asker]

@b_lova a woman shouldn’t be having sex with some guy that she isn’t going to marry that just adds to her body count.

[b_lova]

Why does her body count matter? Guys are not thinking of their body count when they have sex so I don't think women should be worried about it either. Women have sexual desire just like men. I care more about her personality than her body count. But I'm a different kind of guy.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong two people who save themselves for marriage. As that's their choice but our society has gone the other way and I am not the morality judge as I am not GOD.

[Mr_twoface]

Most don't know what they want but certainly don't want to get married now. And if they specifically said to you that they never wants to get married, then it was specifically meant for you.

I made up my mind early on that I didn't want to settle until I was at least 30 and instead wanted to tick of my bucket list. Until the age of 30 I had multiple of friends with benefits. Some knew of my goal and others didn't. If someone questioned it, I would probably have just said never to avoid the conversation.

[Anonymous]

I had a friends with benefits a few years back, that wanted kids and asked me to get her pregnant.

we tried dating but it never worked out, So we kept it as casual sex only, We had 3 kids together.
it ended when she met her now husband.

He is a great guy, and I’m happy for them. I’m not in the family picture, & he is raising my kids.

not that marriage was out of the question, We just never got there. And weren’t compatible in that way.

She wanted kids, Was attracted to me, and liked the genes I would pass on, And that’s exactly what we did,
we knew exactly what it was going into it.

[SotiCoto]

Because relationships don't need state / church validation, and "marriage" is nothing but an imposition to some.
It doesn't mean they'd want the relationship to be any less than a married one, necessarily, but the marriage itself is expensive and effectively pointless. It is just social convention. Nothing more.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning but when it’s all said & done your house is gone. On the other hand some people like when things are easy cum, easy go.

[Joshydavid25]

They don't want commitment.. They just want the benefits of what would come with it unfortunately.. Sex and maybe some companionship until either is ready to disappear..

[Asker]

Disappear for what why don’t they want to have sex with someone they love?

[Joshydavid25]

Disappear from the situation.. Maybe they might remain friends.. But, I guess I'm one day they do.. But at that moment they just want to get it on and maybe do other stuff without the commitment..

[Mrtcn01]

marriage is responsibility and it needs supportive actions.. but friends with benefits is just for pleasure.. so men choose friends with benefits untill the loose their power..

[Asker]

That doesn’t make any logical sense to me why men want to do that clearly they are in need of someone.

[Mrtcn01]

men only need services.. we dont need someone if we can buy services like food cleaning etc. which is easy this period. washing machine is washing dishwasher is washing housekeeper is cleaning there are many restaurants for food or frozen things. so we just need sex we also can this with money but we do not prefer.. we dont like cheap women. i hope it is more clear now. do not thing we are emotional person like women. we can take decision easly we dont calculate many things we focus on result we dont care tools..

[Asker]

But if a woman does the same thing she is judge but when a man does it it is looked upon as normal I just start shaking my damn head because if they only want to hook up they need a woman to sleep with they can’t sleep with a man. Double standards

[Mrtcn01]

no actually it is not double standards. it is hard to accept it in first step. let me explain
first as i said emotion is not our first priority. But women need emotional attachment. emotion is not only love it is also safety trust appearance power etc at least women has to find one of this emotion to get laid so Even it is friends with benefits girls have some emotional feelings to this guy.. if you can do without this feelings you do it. because even you do you will try to choose best so it won't make you sl--ut. i dont know your culture or relegion. but in any religion punisment is the same for both gender. but in culturel view it is different. i can not comment on it.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/IQEqNUqtfqg

[Asker]

I don’t have patience for it there are older women dating young men.

[Asker]

And I don’t see how a woman can handle a man who is much younger than them.

[Mrtcn01]

man like supportive woman men like who gives him a good sex we all need this 2 things. after this 2 you can do and you can make him your man.. believe me.. if you have a crash i can help you to make him fall in love you..

[slatyb]

Why not? friends with benefits is compatible with that. Not everyone wants to be married.

[Asker]

Well clearly he is in need of a relationship if he can’t go without being single period.

[slatyb]

Marriage is a legal condition with advantages and disadvantages for a couple. Some couples prefer not to marry.

[Asker]

Whatever I think that they are dumb because when you do the benefits stuff you take the possibility for the consequences.

[jahaims]

They want to feel validation without commitment because they are immature

[BarryLiverstone]

Because they like having sex. But don’t want a relationship and all the problems

[Asker]

So they aren’t creating problems because they are taking the chance of someone’s feelings getting in the way.

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s right. They make it clear they will not fall in love with each other

[BarryLiverstone]

Ever done that?

[Asker]

I don’t believe it because usually one person will.

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh ok, so you haven’t tried it

[Asker]

I don’t see the purpose of doing it I think it is dumb.

[BarryLiverstone]

Then why ask about it? You have no interest

[Asker]

Because people try you all the time with it and I find it to be annoying.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes I’ve had friends ask me also and I just said no. Who is trying you?

[Asker]

I guess what usually happens if you use tinder or bumble best to stay off of them.

[BarryLiverstone]

I haven’t used either one

[BarryLiverstone]

Few years ago I tried eharmony but many girls had fake profiles or were liars

[Asker]

Lying and creating fake accounts for what.

[BarryLiverstone]

I don’t know why. Maybe they just wanted attention or maybe they felt insecure

[Asker]

That’s wasting everyone else’s time and can go years of your life for nothing just because of false hope.

[BarryLiverstone]

We agree. So why do girls do that?

[Asker]

Because they are stupid and they don’t realize what they’re doing is going to effect other people.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes they can be selfish

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s Better to just be honest

[Asker]

People do be honest but people still don’t believe them because they have false hope what they need to do is leave people alone.

[BarryLiverstone]

For sure.

[Bklynbadboy12]

You know if the want to be friends with benefits it's just sex and that's it

[Asker]

I don’t understand why they want that.

[exitseven]

They like sex. Or mayube one of them wants the relationship to be more than a friendship.

[DrPepper12]

Great sex on demand?

[Twalli]

Sex feels good